Ken Padgett: Funny Vintage Ads (49)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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National Dairy Products - Stumbling Block

Johnny can't solve a simple puzzle because you sent him to school with "a watery beverage and a bun" in his stomach instead of some milk.

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Allan's Anti-Fat contained a fluid extract of Fucus vesiculosis (bladder wrack), which led to the discovery of iodine in 1811. It was a forerunner of modern iodine-containing weight loss supplements, but they were only helpful to those suffering from hypothyroidism.

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"V.I.P's refrigerated air-conditioning is an option, not an afterthought; built-in, not bolted on." And yet it is actually "bolted on" under the dash and there are no vents in the dash, indicating that it was indeed "an afterthought."

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"Pound for pound there is more muscle-making, brain building material in Shredded Wheat Biscuit than in beef, bacon or eggs."
Nope. That muscle-making, brain building material is protein and if our simian ancestors had limited themselves to grains they would never have developed large brains.

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3,878 Amphicars were built in Germany from 1961 to 1968. The Amphicar is the only civilian amphibious passenger automobile ever to be mass produced.

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Yes kids, you can now take the hill dressed as your favorite loyal Union soldier or slavery-loving Southern insurrectionist.

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Marie Frances Van Schaack (1918 – 1999), known professionally as Lili St. Cyr, was a famous American stripper. She retired from the stage in the 1970s, and began a lingerie business.

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The old cast iron stoves were built like battleships and were truly the "heart of the home" because they were the center of all activity in the home.

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"I'd love to have a movie camera, but my husband is a loser who doesn't make enough money."
The Cine-Kodak Eight was one of the first 8mm consumer movie cameras to use a magazine or cartridge to hold the film.

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Things certainly would happen if you wore Eleganza now – people would laugh at you.

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“Wipes clean with just a damp cloth”

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Clearasil was invented in 1950 by Ivan Combe, who made a career out of catering to people's discomforts and insecurities. His company later acquired Grecian Formula, the men’s hair color product, and Lanacane, the itch cream. In the 1970s and ‘80s, he introduced Odor-Eaters foot care products, Vagisil feminine care products and Just for Men, another product for coloring gray hair.

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"Each tiny easy-to-swallow Perle represents the medicinal value of 26 lbs of Fresh Golden Celery." -- except for the fiber.

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Many tooth paste and tooth powder brands prior to the 1950s had an abrasive content that could do more harm than good.

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Do women really need a "how-to" computer book written just for them, as if they have special challenges that men don't share?

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Parents Magazine - Should Father see his baby born?

Until the mid-1970s, expectant fathers paced back and forth in a waiting room because they were not allowed in the delivery room,

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"Make your own Bikini...for sunning and posing -- BUT NOT FOR SWIMMING"

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"Bashful? Shame on you"
What? I thought you were trying to help?

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If you need a separate device to fill the bowl again after your first hit, then you've probably had enough already.

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Kissing Potion by Maybelline -- for those girls who really get around.

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Kids who sent away for this got a cardboard footlocker and flat, two-dimensional soldiers.

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Before shopping bags were introduced in the 1930s, salesclerks would bring merchandise to the counter from shelves or a stockroom for customer inspection, then package the purchase in paper and twine to make it easier to carry and to protect the item on the journey home.

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Until the early 1900s, it was common to have shared glasses or dippers at water sources in public spaces. It was an obvious health-hazard and Lily-Tulip Cup Corp began manufacturing pleated paper cups to meet the demand.

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Cuticura antibacterial medicated soap was first manufactured by the Potter Drug and Chemical Company in 1865.

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Pay your toll and terrify the tool booth operator at the same time!

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The King Midget was a micro car produced between 1946 and 1970 by the Midget Motors Corporation. Time magazine put the King Midget micro-car on its 50 Worst Cars of All Time and called the King Midget “a crap-tastic little vehicle."

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