Thursday, October 5, 2023

Funny Vintage Ads (81)


 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

Hotpoint Disposall - 1949
This wild-eyed lady might be a little too excited about her new Hotpoint Disposall.
Flying Jeep
ATC Asahi Japan produced this Flying Jeep tin lithographic toy in the 1960s, based on a real experimental aircraft from the 1950s, called the The Hiller VZ-1 Pawnee.
Build your own sex robots
"Sir C. Sinclair" who apparently lives at the YMCA in Cambridge, wants you to know before you send him money that "some soldering" will be required.
Ipana -  Tell-Tale Mouth
You'll never know where that mouth has been.
Kuppenheimer & Co
Good thing his suit jackets weren't quite as boxy as this one appears in a 1902. advertisement. Bernard Kuppenheimer opened his first retail clothing store in Terre Haute, Indiana
in 1852. The company expanded rapidly, opening branch stores in major cities and did well until the 1930s, when the last of the Kuppenheimers died. The company survived until 1997, when The Men's Wearhouse purchased Kuppenheimer and promptly closed all their remaining stores and liquidated all the assets.
Saratoga Red Spring Splits
Saratoga Springs in upstate New York has a rich heritage. The Mohawk Indians believed the water held magical healing properties and they drank and bathed in it as early as the 14th century. The area has been a health resort and a gambling center ever since.  
Jell-O Puddings for jolly birthdays
You can serve butterscotch pudding at a kid's birthday party, but don't trot that bowl of goo out instead of a real cake, unless you're ready for a meltdown. 
Bovite Bullet-Proof Bodies
Riding around in a huge limousine is bound to attract attention.
American Armor Corporation began manufacturing armored car bodies and bullet-proof vests in the 1910s.
Baby Ruth - Quints get first candy -1941
The Dionne quintuplets, born May 28, 1934, were the first quintuplets to survive infancy. 
Mary Kitchen - here's your hash
 "Circle it with Hormel Bacon for baked Hash Filet Mignon."
 Extra fatty, the way Grandma used to make.
Maytag Multi-Mode Washer with built-in Gasoline Engine
The Maytag Multi-Mode Washer with built-in Gasoline Engine developed in 1917, was very popular with rural families who quickly adapted the engine to power many labor-saving devices around their homes and farms.  
Listerine Tooth Paste
O Maid...O Matron!
Listerine tooth paste in a 1950s bridal magazine. And speaking of paste, what a tacky paste-up job on this ad!
Flintstones Pedal Car
The Flintstones Pedal Car debuted in 1962 and very few were sold, but they may have to bring it back because of climate change.
"Long distance" calls were very expensive until the late 1980s because Bell Telephone and associated companies had a monopoly on the telephone services industry in North America for over 100 years, from its creation in 1877 until its antitrust breakup in 1983. 
Wool Nose Warmer
It's "kooky but practical..."  
Kissel All-Year Cab
In 1917, having truck with an enclosed cab was still considered a luxury. This one has a split windshield, no wipers and no heater, so it was still a long way from "All-Year Comfort."  
Cream of Wheat Rastus
Cream of Wheat created the Rastus character in 1893, after they saw the success of Aunt Jemima pancake mix beginning in 1889.   Frank L. White, a famous Chicago chef, was hired to portray Rastus as an ignorant former slave in all Cream of Wheat advertising beginning in the 1920s.  Frank died in 1938, but the exploitation of his image by Cream of Wheat lived on until it was finally discontinued in 2020, along with Aunt Jemima. 
The Uncanny X-Men
The Uncanny X-Men comic book series began in 1963. This poster is someone's fantasy...or is it? Perhaps in the Multiverse?
Idaho Russ for Simplot

Idaho Russ was a cartoon spokesman for Simplot in the 1960s.
Simplot was founded in 1929 by John Richard Simplot in south central Idaho. During WW2, his business expanded by providing the military with dehydrated onions and potatoes. Later Simplot made billions from the commercialization of frozen French fries. Today, Simplot is one of the largest privately owned companies in the world.
The Maidens - Calendar Girls
 "Be different and jolt your friends with this...calendar"
John Deere - The Master Key to Bigger Farm Products
John Deere - The Master Key to Bigger Farm Products - or so it seemed in 1927, when this ad appeared, but that optimism about the future didn't last. The Great Depression (1929–1939) and The Dust Bowl (1930 - 1936) bankrupted and displaced millions. 
Candy Cigarettes on Amazon
Candy cigarettes are still available on Amazon and highly rated too.
Orson Welles - Eldorado Custom Biaritz Classic
"I am Large. I am getting Extra Large every day."
Orson Welles managed to live to the age of 70 before his addiction to excess caught up with him.  
Westclox - War Bonds
WW2 was over and it was time to cash in those war bonds and consume!
Between 1945 and 1949, Americans purchased 20 million refrigerators, 21.4 million cars, and 5.5 million stoves, a trend that continued well into the 1950s.
Scott Tissues - Women are especially susceptible
"At least 15 painful diseases can be caused or aggravated by improper tissue...It doesn't pay to be careless in this bathroom essential." 

 The sports drink Quickick was created seven years before Gatorade and has always been very popular in the Southeast US.
Spencer Corsets - do something about YOUR figure
"You NEED a Spencer" if for some reason you usually wear a padded girdle so you look fatter and you can't stand up straight. 
Petroleum Institute - Rivalry
In 1947, the Petroleum Institute was telling folks that they really believe in competition. This was 36 years after the Standard Oil monopoly was broken up
by the US government because that one company, owned by John D. Rockefeller, controlled the entire oil industry. 
Kung-Fu Secrets
 "Self-defense without torturous training or rigorous exercise"
Isn't that what a gun is for?
Savage Automatic - in the hands of a frightened woman
"Even in the hands of a frightened woman, the Savage Automatic gives a burglar" 
...or her abusive husband... "no chance whatsoever"

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