Thursday, December 8, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (71)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Washrite
"To think a washing machine can get clothes as clean as this!"
As opposed to what...beating the clothes on rocks down at the river?
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Hamdingers
Hamdingers were a short-lived meat product similar to Spam and produced by the Patrick Cudahy Company out of Cudahy, WI in the mid 1970's.
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Rub the Buddha for Money
Rub the Buddha for Money -- In order to do that, you'll need to give this guy money, so you are indeed rubbing the Buddha for money -- his money.
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Poundex - Wanted 1000 skinny people
Most Americans were thin after the Depression of the 1930s and the shortages caused by WW2, while female Hollywood stars became more voluptuous in the 1950s, and that created a new market for weight-gain products.
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Camels - They don't get your wind
"Camels - They don't get your wind" -- until they do.
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Bull Dog Garden Hose
"Hose seldom wears out, - it usually dies and falls to pieces"
 Wait, isn't that the same as wearing out?
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Coffee Dick
 Dick likes to wear an apron in the kitchen when his friends visit, because it makes him seem more "domestic."
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Delrich Color Pak
Thanks to the efforts of the dairy industry's lobbyists who said it would confuse consumers, it was illegal to sell yellow margarine until the 1960s.
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GM’s Autronic Eye
In 1952, GM introduced the Autronic-Eye headlight system that dimmed the high beams when an oncoming vehicle was detected, and then turned them back on when the opposing vehicle passed. It was discontinued in the 1960s.
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Sweet William - Hollywood's Most Daring Pictures
Includes a "Fabulous Hi-Fi Record" with the sound track.
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Pabst Blue Ribbon 33 into 1
Coming home for dinner late and drunk?
Bring some beer home for the wife. 
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Chicago Telephone - 16 cents per day
16 cents per day ($4.80 per month) for a phone seems pretty cheap, but that was in 1898, when that $4.80 would be worth $172 today.
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 Nothing to see here -- just well-dressed men hanging out in a bathroom at the beach. 
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Dentyne - Part of the fun
 "Part of the fun of going places" is avoiding stinky breath.
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Yes, women appreciate the obvious sexual connotations of you sucking on a penis-shaped object.
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Viscote - Wrong Grease
Don't like what your mechanic is doing?
Punch 'em out!
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Ex-Lax "I don't wanna be a Little Soldier"
Ex-Lax "I don't wanna be a Little Soldier" who poops his pants in the middle of maneuvers.
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Universal Bantam Electric Range
This "Amazing New Bantam Electric Range" ad says you can plug into "any" appliance outlet, but standard outlets are 15 amp and they mean a 20 amp outlet. So after you buy this electric range, you'll have to hire an electrician to install a 20 amp line in your kitchen.
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Follow this Man -- Operator 38
Operator No. 38 looks like he's dressed for the opera, not a crime scene.
It says I can become a "Finger Print Expert" at home, in spare time, but then how do I "earn a regular monthly salary." 
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Paul Duval - Attractive Austerity
"To bring brightness and charm - to bring inspiration to herself and others is every woman's duty." And she should make sandwiches for her man.

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Kaiser Bill Toilet Paper
One of the first novelty toilet papers appeared during World War One. It was considered so daring and naughty it was "Forbidden in the Mail." 
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Boys Dubbelbilt Clothes
Dubbelbilt Clothes for Boys had double fabric at all the wear points and was guaranteed to last at least 6 months.
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Beretta by mail order
Until 1968, handguns, rifles, shotguns, and ammunition were commonly sold over the counter and through mail-order catalogs and magazines to any adult anywhere in the US.
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Be Happy - Go Lucky
The American Tobacco Company thought up the "Be Happy, Go Lucky" slogan in the 1930s but was reluctant to use it, fearing that the saying was so common that people would be claiming they thought of it first and suing them for compensation. American finally launched an advertising campaign using the slogan in 1950 and sure enough, the lawsuits immediately came flooding in. But American Tobacco didn't cave and no one got paid. 
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Caterpiller - Does a good time have to end like this?
Caterpillar - "Does a good time have to end like this?"
Only when there are alcohol or drugs involved. 
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Motorola Portables Radios
 "Here comes fun!" 
The 1960s were so dull that all it took to add a little "fun" was a portable radio.
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GE Portable Dishwasher
Low cost?
$169 in 1950 was equivalent in purchasing power to about $2,081 today.
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Brooklax
Poor fellow is really straining at his stools and about to pull an Elvis.
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Camel Nerves - 1942
Antoinette Concello (1910-1984) joined the Flying Concellos circus act in 1930, and spent many seasons performing on the Ringling Bros.and Barnum & Bailey Circus.
Antoinette was the first woman to complete the fabled "triple" (completing three full somersaults while "flying" through the air after leaving their bar and being caught by a "catcher"). Concello retired from performing in 1953 but returned in the early 1960s to serve as the aerial director of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.
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Vicks VapoRub Atom Tracer Tests
According to the Mayo Clinic, "Vicks VapoRub — a topical ointment made of  camphor, eucalyptus oil and menthol that you rub on your throat and chest — doesn't relieve nasal congestion. But the strong menthol odor of VapoRub may trick your brain, so you feel like you're breathing through an unclogged nose."
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works!