Friday, December 13, 2019

Funny Vintage Ads (32)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
Thorazine to control agitation
Oh, he's just a little agitated...

The Omnibot 2000, introduced by Japanese toy company TOMY in 1985, with a steep price tag of $600, was a sorry excuse for a personal robot. Only one of its arms could be controlled and it came with a cassette player.
Creole Palace San Diego
For over 30 years beginning in 1924, the Creole Palace was a popular, high energy cabaret that catered primarily to the African American population of San Diego. The club, also known as the “Cotton Club of the West,” attracted prominent entertainers of the day such as Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, and Count Basie.
Oneida Community Silver
Oneida Community Silver was begun by a Christian religious utopian commune established in Oneida, New York, in 1848.
Gay-LAa Singing Kettles
Supposedly this teapot inspired the Romi Klinger hit track, “Gay in LA”
Almonds in a Haystack
Almonds on top of Miracle Whip on top of chopped ham. Wait, those are almonds? They look like French fries!
"Just slip on and wear while you work or play..."
...until you pass out from heat stroke.

Spam 'N' Cheese Ribbon Loaf
Spam ‘N’ Cheese Ribbon Loaf
Because if there’s anything better than Spam, it’s Spam in a loaf.

The Kuba Komet Entertainment System
The Komet houses a TV, radio, record player and a tape recorder. The KUBA Corporation manufactured the Kuba Komet Entertainment System from 1957 to 1962 in Wolfenbuttel, West Germany. The Komet was over 7 feet wide and weighed in at a hefty 289 pounds.
Electric Powered Marx-Mobile
The "Electric Powered Marx-Mobile" was produced by Louis Marx Company, Glendale, WV. It cost $21.95 without the battery, weighed over 30 pounds with the battery and was sold through Sears.

Self-Defense American Style
Forget all that flamboyant Asian martial arts hooey. This ad says, "No tricks. No gimmicks. Develop your power and muscles and your inner strength. FAST and EASY. The AMERICAN WAY!

Geshtunkana Ray Gun
Chickenman was an American radio series created by Dick Orkin that spoofed comic book heroes and was inspired by the mid-1960s Batman TV series.

Cooties - Delousing
The word cooties first appeared during World War I as soldiers' slang for the painful body lice that infested the trenches. They were also known as "arithmetic bugs" because "they added to our troubles, subtracted from our pleasures, divided our attention, and multiplied like hell."
 Pristeen: Unfortunately, the trickiest deodorant problem a girl has isn't under her pretty little arms
Actually the trickiest deodorant problem is that all these products almost guarantee the exact outcome they are claiming to avoid, by disrupting the delicate pH balance and allowing the harmful bacteria to outnumber the good. Another in a long line of advertisements that were designed to make women self-conscious about their bodies.
WW2: Killing should always be done with spotless weapons.
Dr. Campbell's Safe Arsenic Complexion Wafers
Until the 1920s, the Western ideal was for a porcelain-like smooth, pale skin tone. For those determined to clear their skin of blemishes or ruddiness, arsenic was taken in small doses. To make it seem safe to take, the poison was sold under various ‘doctoral’ brands including Dr. Campbell, Dr. MacKenzie, Dr. Simms, Dr. Rose and Dr. Botot.

Hiller Atom Ray Gun
American inventor Stanley Hiller, Jr designed this all-metal squirt gun in the late 1940s.

Tarco Space Pilot Helmet
Released in 1952 by Tarco Toys, the Space Pilot Helmet was called the “Planetary” Toy for a “Space-Flight” Boy.
When it was placed on your head, you could “sound like whizzing through space when you ride your bike, roller skate, run or coast in your wagon.”


Sears Silvertone Radio
The Silvertone brand was introduced by Sears in 1915 with a hand-cranked phonograph. Beginning in the 1920s, the brand was expanded to include Silvertone radios.

The Pure and Germless Kiss
"For a pure and hygienic kiss, use this small racket --  after washing it in an antiseptic." Oh, how romantic!  

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
The failure of The Carbolic Smoke Ball to perform as advertised led to a court case in 1892 that became the basis of later consumer protection laws.

 Space Disintegrator Gun and Helmet
 This Space Disintegrator Gun and Helmet was all the rage among boys in 1950s Australia.

Asbestos - the Magic Mineral
Asbestos is such a "magic mineral" that it is still causing a rare cancer called mesothelioma many decades after it was no longer commonly used in building materials.  It is now known that there is no safe level of asbestos exposure.
Survivor Identification Capsule
When war is imminent, don't forget to insert your identity suppository for later ID of your charred remains.
Sears Bath Shag Carpet
What were they thinking? Any carpet in the bathroom is a bad idea because it's a perfect breeding ground for mold and mildew, but shag carpet is even worse.   


Sunday, December 8, 2019

Amazon Storefronts Help Small Business

Amazon Storefronts Ad
"Amazon helps small-town businesses"
Amazon is responsible for the closure of thousands of storefronts in America and now offers their platform to business owners so that Amazon can get a piece of every online sale they make.

Amazon claims their Amazon Storefronts, "a curated destination to shop exclusively from American small and medium-sized businesses" helps small businesses. Perhaps, but it will never offset Amazon's total devastation of Main Street America and suburban shopping malls, thanks to the overwhelming power of Amazon's marketing machine and predatory business practices. Then there are the many local jobs that have been lost, along with the local tax revenue from those jobs. Sure, Amazon creates some jobs in regional distribution warehouses; jobs that exploit workers and take such a physical and mental toll that few people can handle it for long.

According to syndicated columnist Jim Hightower:
"Bezos followed the business path mapped by Rockefeller and other 19th Century robber barons: (1) ruthlessly exploit a vast and vulnerable low-wage workforce; (2) extract billions of dollars in special government subsidies; and (3) wield every anti-competitive tool you can find or invent to get what you want from other businesses." 

Amazon's revenue has been growing at more than 20% a year, and yet Amazon paid no federal income tax for 2018. Through various tax breaks and credits, the company received a tax rebate of $129 million.

But this is not just Amazon's doing -- everyone who shops online is also at least partially responsible for the decline in brick and mortar retail. The choices we make on where to spend our money have consequences. Some of those consequences have been particularly unpleasant for Red States and Rust Belt States.