Friday, February 5, 2021

Funny Vintage Ads (48)

  Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Daddy Saddle
Accessories include a ball gag and a riding crop.
  
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Lysol - How I lost my husband
"Lysol's great spreading power means it reaches deeply into folds and crevices to search out germs."
“Feminine hygiene” was a euphemism for birth control since the 1900s, and by 1940, Lysol was the most popular contraceptive in the US.
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Interwoven - Announcing the best-dressed men in America
 Interwoven - "Announcing the best-dressed men in America" ... are Gay!
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Colgate  -- Go 'Way! You've got bad breath
Hey kid. Shut the hell up!
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Silly Putty
Silly Putty was invented during WW2 when the US needed to come up with an inexpensive substitute for synthetic rubber.
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Don't Be Flat
Catering to people's insecurities has always been a gold mine for entrepreneurs.
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Mustange Jr and Thunderbird Jr
Thunderbird and Mustang Jrs. were available for purchase with either an electric or gas-powered engine, starting at $550 and $600, respectively. The miniature cars were produced until 1967.
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Standard Tank Cars were part of the Standard Oil empire; John D Rockefeller's monopoly on the Oil business beginning in 1880.  In 1906, the U.S. government brought suit against Standard Oil Company under the Sherman Antitrust Act of 1890; in 1911 the company was ordered to divest itself of its major holdings — 33 companies in all.
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Space Phone
"Space Phone" With all the modern technology of two tin cans tied together with a string.
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Elect Chester D Gunn Coroner
 "Past six years superintendent Edgemoor Old Folks Home"
Yeah, those are adequate qualifications for a coroner.
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Sparkies - Your 5-vitamin Breakfast!
"Sparkies give you the great health bonus of Vitamin Rain..." with fruit and a glass of milk.
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Cashmere Bouquet - Are they rationing love too?
"Are they rationing love too?"
 Nope. You reek of body odor.
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Save Your Hair
Most shampoos aren't designed to kill germs, but the oil in your hair already does a good job of keeping bacteria at bay.

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007 Attache Case
The 007 attachΓ© case was released in 1965, and is based on the briefcase featured in the 1963 film ‘From Russia With Love’ which included a sniper rifle and a throwing knife.
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Church Sani-white Seats
Yes friends, your guests will know you think they are special when they see this gleaming white toilet seat in your bathroom.
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Clark's Bath Salts
The French apparently have a "Famous French Method" for a lot of things, including losing weight with bath salts.
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Cleveland Institute of Electronics - Bill told off his boss
 Bill felt good about telling off his boss until he hit the job market and found out that a correspondence school education doesn't actually qualify you for the "pick of good jobs."
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Teijin - Practically Perfect Hair
Teijin's "Practically Perfect Hair" makes you look like an idiot.
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Hoover Slim Silhouette
1959's "New Slim-silhouette Hoover" was only for slim-silhouette ladies.
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A-Bomb Get Down Fast
"Stay down for at least one minute" and all will be fine!
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Radium Schokolade
Sold by Burk & Braun of Germany from 1931 to 1936, this candy was made with radium water and promoted for its "rejuvenation power."
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Lark Hat Box
Apparently in Peru, the women prefer to wear a hat box instead of a hat.
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Mattel Shootin Shell Guns
Mattel's Shootin' Shell Guns actually propelled a plastic "slug" a short distance using a spring mechanism.
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Parents Association - Traits that Wreck Children's Lives
The Parents Association "Traits that Wreck Children's Lives" includes "cowardice" because nothing better predicts that you'll be a failure as an adult than getting beat up by some bully after school.
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Tastykake
In 1914, Philip Baur and Herbert Morris opened the Tasty Baking Company in Philadelphia with a new idea: instead of regular family-sized cakes, they produced individually-wrapped snack cakes.
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Lucky Strike - Nature in the Raw
This ad refers to the "heartless treachery of a band of vicious Miami Indians" in 1812, as if the Indians weren't at war to protect their homes and families

from white invaders who were conducting genocide against them.
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Onliwon Towels - Washroom Infection
In the early 20th century, it was widely believed that dirty bathrooms spread diseases, particularly sexual diseases -- which became a convenient excuse for philandering husbands.
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Nutone - True Luxury Plus
NuTone Radio gives you True Luxury plus...a laundry chute.

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