Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Funny Vintage Ads (72)

  Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Got a cold? Switch to Kools
Menthol cigarettes were originally marketed as a remedy for the dryness and irritation smokers experience when smoking regular cigarettes. Despite the claims in this ad, menthol cigarettes are not actually cures for sore throats or the common cold. The menthol additive does act to temporarily reduce the irritating properties of nicotine and other cigarette byproducts inhaled through cigarette smoke, providing a smoker with the illusion that menthols contain curative powers.
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$100 Reward for Julius Klinz
This wanted ad for a forger has lots of interesting details, "Is ruptured and wears a truss. Uses morphine and carries Hypodermic Syringe. Dresses well. Gambles and is fond of comic opera." 
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Space 1999 Stun Gun
Space: 1999 was a British science-fiction television show that only ran for two seasons in the 1970s, but the merchandising of Space: 1999 toys continues today.
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Hooiser Kitchen Cabinets
The Hoosier cabinet got its name because most of them were made in Indiana. The first Hoosier cabinets appeared in 1898, created by a furniture company called Sellers, in New Castle, Indiana.
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Tissu-Pak Oil Filter
The Tissu-Pak was invented in the early 1950's but never really caught on beyond a small number of gear heads, because it replaced the engine oil filter with a canister that used an ordinary roll of toilet paper to filter the oil. 
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Babe Ruth Shooters
Babe Ruth was a city boy who never went near a rifle. His favorite pastimes were drinking and womanizing.
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Japp's Pompadour
The pompadour is a hairstyle named after Madame de Pompadour (1721–1764), a mistress of King Louis XV of France.
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Church Seats
"Sure he gets the best seat. Common courtesy and good taste demand it."
Wait. What? Now it's "common courtesy" to insure the rich guy gets the best seat?
Welcome to American values.
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Stop Scolding Lady
"Is there a spot you yourself have forgotten to clean?"
How dare you discipline your child for bringing dirt in the house when you haven't even cleaned your drains! 
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Woman's Sweater on Facebook Marketplace
Another instant classic from the Facebook Marketplace

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Pe-ru-na for Catarrh
Catarrh is a build-up of mucus in an airway or cavity of the body. In 1906, there
was an Ohio physician who defined catarrh in any way he wanted and created a single cure for every malady he said was caused by catarrh. Dr. Samuel Hartman, made millions in sales, but his claims were so outlandish that eventually a law was passed to regulate patent medicines.
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Big Man  - Laury P. Sevis
Laury P. Sevis ran for sheriff in York County, Pennsylvania, in 1935.
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Healthknit - Meet the Man with X
If this guy has "X" and you won't even show his face, I don't want to meet him.
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Pyrography for pleasure or profit
If you scoff at the notion that burning designs on wood can actually earn profits, do a quick Google search on Pyrography and you'll see that a lot of people believe it. 
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Inches Away Reducing Belt
The Inches Away Reducing Belt was "perfected by a doctor" so you know it's legit, but it won't work without the Doctor's "sealer lotion."  
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For 15 Years General Electric Said
The first refrigerator for home use was invented in 1913, by Fred W. Wolf of Fort Wayne, Indiana. In 1933, GE was trying to convince people that them taking 15 years to design and engineer their first refrigerator was worth it.
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Absent Father Action Figure
Not a vintage ad, but still very funny.
This "Action Figure" is offered for sale on Etsy by BadMonsterToys. 
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Hanes "Givvies" Shorts
 They don't creep but they might trigger a bull.
Hanes was founded in 1900 by John Wesley Hanes at Winston, North Carolina under the name Shamrock Knitting Mills
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Glamour Supermarket
Is it really a "Glamour Supermarket" or just a flea market for tawdry nude photos?
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King Midget Car
The King Midget (original price: $1,000) was a micro car produced between 1946 and 1970 by the Midget Motors Corporation.
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Worlds-Ugliest-Hands
"If you've got the courage, maybe you can have fun (?) with them."
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Smelly Hands
You don't know where those hands have been...
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Tabac - Smells Great
TABAC -- when you want to smell like stale tobacco.
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Chicken Light
An ad I found recently in Facebook Marketplace:
"Chicken Lights with Egg Bulbs is known for making very unique art using realistic taxidermy and you deserve it."

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Marx-Mobile
In the early 1950's, Marx was one of the first to combine a ride-on toy with battery power. As advertised on the box, the Marx-Mobile boasted, "Kids! Now you can drive a real automobile!" The 22" metal cars weighed nearly 20 pounds and could carry a child weighing up to 50 pounds. 
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DW Griffith - The Battle of the Sexes
"Is it true -- you can't love a man without hating other women?"
Only if you are insecure and full of self-doubt.
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Dodge Blindfold Test
 "Run over whatever you want" including pedestrians and "you'll never feel a thing."
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Emil - Middle Age Skin
According to "Emil" even a girl of 20 can have "middle-age skin" if she doesn't use Palmolive soap with olive oil.
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Bell Telephone System - Doing his best with a tough job
Bell Telephone: We're doing our best
with our monopoly on telephone service to make it look like we care about you.
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Curity - Is anything too good for Susie
"Is anything too good for Susie?"
Yes, that bandage, because Susie only needed a Band-Aid for that microscopic scratch.
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works!