Funny Vintage Ads (71)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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"To think a washing machine can get clothes as clean as this!"
As opposed to what...beating the clothes on rocks down at the river?

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Hamdingers were a short-lived meat product similar to Spam and produced by the Patrick Cudahy Company out of Cudahy, WI in the mid 1970's.

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Rub the Buddha for Money -- In order to do that, you'll need to give this guy money, so you are indeed rubbing the Buddha for money -- his money.

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Most Americans were thin after the Depression of the 1930s and the shortages caused by WW2, while female Hollywood stars became more voluptuous in the 1950s, and that created a new market for weight-gain products.

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"Camels - They don't get your wind" -- until they do.

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"Hose seldom wears out, - it usually dies and falls to pieces"

 Wait, isn't that the same as wearing out?

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 Dick likes to wear an apron in the kitchen when his friends visit, because it makes him seem more "domestic."

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Thanks to the efforts of the dairy industry's lobbyists who said it would confuse consumers, it was illegal to sell yellow margarine until the 1960s.

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In 1952, GM introduced the Autronic-Eye headlight system that dimmed the high beams when an oncoming vehicle was detected, and then turned them back on when the opposing vehicle passed. It was discontinued in the 1960s.

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Includes a "Fabulous Hi-Fi Record" with the sound track.

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Coming home for dinner late and drunk?
Bring some beer home for the wife. 

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16 cents per day ($4.80 per month) for a phone seems pretty cheap, but that was in 1898, when that $4.80 would be worth $172 today.

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 Nothing to see here -- just well-dressed men hanging out in a bathroom at the beach. 

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 "Part of the fun of going places" is avoiding stinky breath.

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Yes, women appreciate the obvious sexual connotations of you sucking on a penis-shaped object.

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Don't like what your mechanic is doing?
Punch 'em out!

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Ex-Lax "I don't wanna be a Little Soldier" who poops his pants in the middle of maneuvers.

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This "Amazing New Bantam Electric Range" ad says you can plug into "any" appliance outlet, but standard outlets are 15 amp and they mean a 20 amp outlet. So after you buy this electric range, you'll have to hire an electrician to install a 20 amp line in your kitchen.

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Operator No. 38 looks like he's dressed for the opera, not a crime scene.
It says I can become a "Finger Print Expert" at home, in spare time, but then how do I "earn a regular monthly salary." 

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"To bring brightness and charm - to bring inspiration to herself and others is every woman's duty." And she should make sandwiches for her man.

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One of the first novelty toilet papers appeared during World War One. It was considered so daring and naughty it was "Forbidden in the Mail." 

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Dubbelbilt Clothes for Boys had double fabric at all the wear points and was guaranteed to last at least 6 months.

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Until 1968, handguns, rifles, shotguns, and ammunition were commonly sold over the counter and through mail-order catalogs and magazines to any adult anywhere in the US.

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The American Tobacco Company thought up the "Be Happy, Go Lucky" slogan in the 1930s but was reluctant to use it, fearing that the saying was so common that people would be claiming they thought of it first and suing them for compensation. American finally launched an advertising campaign using the slogan in 1950 and sure enough, the lawsuits immediately came flooding in. But American Tobacco didn't cave and no one got paid. 

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Caterpillar - "Does a good time have to end like this?"

Only when there are alcohol or drugs involved. 

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 "Here comes fun!" 
The 1960s were so dull that all it took to add a little "fun" was a portable radio.

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Low cost?
$169 in 1950 was equivalent in purchasing power to about $2,081 today.

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Poor fellow is really straining at his stools and about to pull an Elvis.

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Antoinette Concello (1910-1984) joined the Flying Concellos circus act in 1930, and spent many seasons performing on the Ringling Bros.and Barnum & Bailey Circus.
Antoinette was the first woman to complete the fabled "triple" (completing three full somersaults while "flying" through the air after leaving their bar and being caught by a "catcher"). Concello retired from performing in 1953 but returned in the early 1960s to serve as the aerial director of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

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According to the Mayo Clinic, "Vicks VapoRub — a topical ointment made of  camphor, eucalyptus oil and menthol that you rub on your throat and chest — doesn't relieve nasal congestion. But the strong menthol odor of VapoRub may trick your brain, so you feel like you're breathing through an unclogged nose."

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Funny Vintage Ads (70)

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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 Space Patrol was a top-rated radio program and TV series from 1950-1955. Commander Corey and youthful Cadet Happy roamed the 30th-century universe in their ship "Terra" fighting super-villains Mr. Proteus, Prince Baccarratti, and other bad guys. Space Patrol was the first West Coast morning network program broadcast to the East Coast, via a massive network of cable and electronic interchanges.

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"New Improved Marlboro Filter" for tough guys makes you grimace with every puff.

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Just have a crazed look in your eyes like this woman and people will indeed be fascinated -- or scared.

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This was Motorola’s 1960’s version of a coffee table. “It’s a bona fide stereo Hi-Fi and comes with AM/FM radio to boot!” Only $169.

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 You're trying to sell ties for Father's Day, but instead of focusing your sales pitch on women and children, you decide to use a model in a bathing suit because that's what you always do.

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The definition of Savage = not domesticated or under human control, which doesn't make a lot of sense when applied to tires and is very offensive when applied to Native Americans.

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Even in the 1960s, the "Girls" in the office (who prefer to be called "women") weren't the only ones using typewriters. 

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Chesterfield Kings -- "Too mild to filter" all those tars and carcinogens like PAH, N-nitrosamines, aromatic amines, 1,3-butadiene, benzene, aldehydes, and ethylene oxide that will eventually give you cancer.

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In the 1920s you could study to become a Railway Traffic Inspector (whatever that is) for a mere $43. You had to promise to pay them another $20 when you got hired, and they guaranteed you would be hired quickly or your money back.

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in the 1870s, Dr. Graydon's literature promised to cure consumption by the Andral Broca method, which was a combination of worthless inhalation with worse than worthless medicines.

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As we now know, tobacco companies quoting, "findings reported in medical journals by a group of distinguished doctors" means they are quoting their own paid lackeys.

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Founded in 1923, Ethyl Corp pioneered the use of tetraethyl lead (TEL) as a gasoline additive. Early health warnings were ignored by the industry as leaded gasoline became more popular and profitable. Legal challenges began in 1924, after refinery accidents left workers dying from violent insanity. In their efforts to protect their profits, industry executives falsely claimed there was no alternative to leaded gasoline. Fifty years passed before scientific, court, and regulatory challenges put an end to lead additives in gasoline. 

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A soufflé is a baked dish with a flavorful base. This isn't it. 

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After the First World War, hand-painted ties became a popular accessory in the U.S.  Famous artists would hand paint ties as a way of bringing art into everyday life. These loud, flamboyant ties sold very well through the 1950s.

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The only "pure gum" is Mexican chicle, made from the sap of the sapodilla tree. Gum base (what gum is made from today) is a non-nutritive, non-digestible, water-insoluble masticatory delivery system and it's a trade secret.  

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"7 1/2 lbs washed perfectly in 5 minutes?"
She couldn't even run that load though the wringer in 5 minutes.

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$8,500 in 1989 is worth $20,345 in 2022.
"Monitor and mouse not included" 

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"Just wear one hour a day...some have lost 4 to 6 inches."
Unfortunately, wearing something around any area of the body won’t help you lose weight, because water weight loss is not the same as fat weight loss. They do not work when combined with "sealer lotions" either.

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In 1943, consumers didn't know that burning natural gas also produces nitrogen dioxide (NO2), an air pollutant that can reduce lung function, cause inflammation of airways, increase asthma attacks, and exacerbate other respiratory issues.

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Not "portable" but "transportable."
That $1,199 in 1988 dollars would be worth over $3,000 today. The ad didn't even mention the fact that there was a subscription fee plus $1 to $2 per minute.

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Have a beer or a glass of wine instead.
Nervine contained bromide which was eventually banned because excess consumption of bromide can lead to various psychiatric, neurological, and gastrointestinal problems.

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John B. Stetson gained inspiration for his most famous hats when he headed west from his native New Jersey for health reasons. On his return east in 1865, he founded the John B. Stetson Company in Philadelphia. He created a hat that has become symbolic of the pioneering American West, the "Boss of the Plains". This Western hat would become the cornerstone of Stetson's hat business and is still in production today.

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Answers the question, "How can I turn a reference to WW2 blackouts into an ad for Milk of Magnesia?"

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The black dialect used in this racist ad originated in minstrel shows.

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Mrs. F. E. Poxon says she was afraid to eat solid food for four years, until she started using Birley's. Her double chin tells a different story.

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Electricity was a bargain in the 1950s. Now, not so much.

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The Pye V4 was a 14" table model designed in 1953.
It incorporated Automatic Picture Control (APC) to prevent the the picture from breaking up due to aircraft passing overhead (a common problem in early TV sets).

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Although synonymous with 1950’s and 1960’s style, baby doll pajamas originated in 1942. American lingerie designer Sylvia Pedlar created the style in response to fabric shortages during World War II. 

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Filters have always been a marketing tool, designed to keep and recruit smokers. Efforts to design a "safe" cigarette always failed because the substances that are harmful in cigarette smoke and the substances that provide the smoker with ‘satisfaction’ are essentially the same.

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Yes boys it's "real printing" -- all you need to invest is $8.95, which is more money than you will ever make with this printer.

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Between World Wars One and Two, Lysol Disinfectant was sold throughout Canada and the United States as a contraceptive douche for women. In fact, Lysol became the leading over-the-counter contraceptive sold on the euphemistically termed "feminine hygiene" market. But it was not an effective contraceptive and hundreds of women died from using Lysol for birth control.

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In 1955, the US government brought suit against Du Pont for monopolizing, attempting to monopolize, and conspiracy to monopolize interstate commerce for cellophane in violation of the Sherman Act, and lost.

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