Monday, September 5, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (68)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
"An acute case of nervous prostration brought on by female trouble."
 First marketed in the US 1875, Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound was a herbal medicine used by women to relieve menstrual discomfort and menopausal symptoms.
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Dr Morses Indian Root Pills
"To assist man when he overindulges in eating or drinking, and through lack of proper exercise, by helping renew his interest in life."
Indian Root Pills were first formulated and manufactured in 1854 by Andrew B. Moore (born around 1821, New York).
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KRON TV
Who are you trying to appeal to? "Popeye is Available" doesn't go with the art in this piece.
KRON signed on the air
in San Francisco on November 15, 1949, as a full-time NBC affiliate.  
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Goodyear Lifeguard Tubes

The development of "tubeless" tires and duel-chamber tubes eliminated their use as flotation devices, but it was a boon to the inflatable pool toy business.
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Seagers Egg Flip
"The gayest of party drinks."
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Leatherworks
The best way to sell belts to men?
Underboob! 
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Tangee Glowing Lips

Tangee is one the earliest lipstick brands dating back to the 1920s, that was a dye rather than a color. Tangee used an eosin dye that reacts with proteins on the lips to create a vibrant reddish color with a hint of purple. 
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Waverley Electric Delivery Wagon
Electricity was the preferred method for automobile propulsion in the late-19th and early-20th centuries, providing a level of comfort and an ease of operation that could not be achieved by the gasoline-driven cars of the time.
The Waverley Electric was produced from 1896 to 1914 and was called "by far the best electric on the market."
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Compuserve - By the year 2000
By the year 2000, Amazon will be the online shopping behemoth, while Compuserve will still look like 1984 and only be used by people over 60 on dial-up. 22
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Auto-fisherman
Does holding a fishing poll interfere with your beer drinking and napping?
"Get the NEW Shur-Hooker Fisherman!"
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Punch Me's
If your child is displaying aggressive behavior, give them a better place to release it. However, scientists have found that swinging at a punching bag can actually increase anger and aggression levels.
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Amm-I-Dent
Contains ammonium phosphate and  carbamide (synthetic urea), for that "glorious, refreshing Springtime taste." And if "urea" sounds like urine to you that's because urea is the main nitrogen-containing substance in the urine of mammals.
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He-man Voice
Can a guy named Eugene Feuchtinger really teach anyone how to have a "He-Man Voice?"
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The Hoover
The first upright vacuum cleaner was invented in 1908 in North Canton, Ohio by department store janitor and occasional inventor James Murray Spangler (1848–1915). Spangler then sold his patent to William Henry "Boss" Hoover (1849 – 1932) and son Herbert William Hoover Sr. (1877 – 1954).
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When in Quarantine -- call your mother
When in Quarantine -- remember to call your mother. 
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Suede Paint
Flok-Kraft was actually asbestos mixed with paint.
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Miles Nervine - automobile nerves
 If your wife is terrified of your driving, a couple of shots of Miles Nervine will mellow her out. 
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Aladdin Home
The Aladdin Company was a pioneer in the pre-cut, mail order home industry. Sometimes referred to as Aladdin Readi-Cut Houses, the company was the first to offer a true kit house composed of precut, numbered pieces.
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Castoria - Bad Mommy
"It all started when Mary needed a laxative...I tried to force it down her and she sputtered it all over the carpet. So I slapped her and said she was a bad girl..."
Well then you are a bad mommy!
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Moore Push Pins
Edwin Moore patented the "push-pin" in the US in 1900 and founded the Moore Push-Pin Company. Over the next few years he invented and patented many other items, such as picture hangers and map tacks.
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South Africa Holiday
South Africa, a perfect holidayland -- but only for white people. 
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Detroit Electric
By 1916, there were numerous American electric vehicle makers, with Detroit Electric both the market leader and the most prolific, but improvements in gasoline-powered cars ultimately led to declining sales and the company had to shut down production in 1939. Today, the name Detroit Electric has been revived by a new company based in the United Kingdom looking to produce a 21st Century version of the vehicle.
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Woods Peppermint Cure 1946
If your baby is almost as big as you, some alcohol might be necessary.
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Pickaninny Stockings
In North America, pickaninny is a racial slur referring to a dark-skinned child of African descent.
Even in the early 1900s it wouldn't have made any sense to name your product "Pickaninny." 
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Lifebuoy - Mother, Sue turned me down
Sue says it's because you're a grown man still living with his mother!
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Klipette
1960s price = $1
2022 price = $39
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Step out of your fat body
Guaranteed to work in 30 days or pay nothing, but they will sell you a 90-day supply -- just in case.
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Cleanable Collars
Because collars and cuffs were the most visible parts of shirts and the parts most likely to get dirty, separating them allowed people to
cut back on doing laundry 
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Coleco Pizza Hut
Heated by standard 100 watt bulb. Yeah, that sounds about right for Pizza Hut pizza.
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Carol has Syphilis
 Even cool girls can have syphilis!
Syphilis came to humans from cattle or sheep many centuries ago, possibly sexually.
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