Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (67)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Ritalin - Helps relieve chronic fatigue and apathy quickly
Methylphenidate was first made in 1944, and marketed in 1954 as Ritalin. At first, it was used to treat conditions such as chronic fatigue and depression. But it worked best to improve the symptoms of ADHD.
ADHD was originally called hyperkinetic reaction of childhood. It wasn’t until the 1960s that the American Psychiatric Association formally recognized it as a mental disorder, and in the 1980s, the diagnosis became known as “attention deficit disorder with or without hyperactivity.” By 2014, over 10% of all children between the ages of 4 and 17 were being diagnosed with ADHD.
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Unicorn Drops
Fred W Thayer developed his Unicorn Drops in Boston in 1853.
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Old Sage Tonic Salts
Lumbago is an archaic term that means mild to severe low back pain. This ad sounds like bath salts, which would probably help back pain, but this preparation contains lots of iron and is supposed to be mixed with water and drunk.
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VW Safety for a Toddler
We have come along way since the old days (pre-1960s) when kids would ride around without seat belts, but this safety device from the 1950s was only a modest improvement over nothing at all.
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Imitation Vomit
Fake vomit was an immediate hit with jokesters all over the U.S. when it debuted in 1959, after the development of latex made it possible. By the 1960s, more than 60,000 fake vomits were being produced annually.
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American Bottlers Carbonated Beverages
The American Beverage Association was founded in 1919 as the American Bottlers of Carbonated Beverages. This trade organization exists to protect their business with lies like this: "People have been consuming sugar and adding it to their food for over 5,000 years. Yet some in the news media and public health community claim that sugar is toxic...We need to keep in mind that there are no “good” or “bad” foods."
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Steel-Vent Piston Rings Blackface Ad
In 1938, Hastings was still using a racist cartoon in their
Steel-Vent Piston Rings Ads.
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Kotex - Not a shadow of a doubt
"Not a shadow of a doubt" was code for Kotex prevents leaks that might stain your clothes.
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Sears chubby sizes
She looks like she is about to burst into some "chubby-sized" tears.
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Sanatogen Tonic Wine
Sanatogen Original Tonic Wine was introduced 50 years ago, made by the traditional blending of full bodied Ruby British Wine
(15% alcohol) with the special 'Sanatogen' formula (vitamins, minerals, and herbs) to give you a nice afternoon buzz.
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The "Electric Powered Marx-Mobile" was originally available only during the 1959 Christmas season. The car sold through Sears-Roebuck and cost $21.95. The 6 volt battery ran an additional $3.59. 
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Ward's anti-baldness formula
Ward's anti-baldness formula scared the crap out of that guy.
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Buescher - "You can be a star performer."
"You can be a star performer. So easy to blow, so easy to finger..."
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Harley-Davidson -- ride for 1 cent per mile
Motorcycles are usually cheaper to buy and cheaper to fuel, but the other expenses; insurance, repairs, safety equipment, etc. end up costing much more.
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Chamberlains
"Also for headaches due to temporary constipation." If headaches and constipation happen at the same time on a regular basis, you are probably just dehydrated and should drink more water.
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Fritchle Electric
The Fritchle Electric Automobile was an electric car designed in Denver in the early 1900s by
Oliver Parker Fritchle. In the 1900s, 38 percent of automobiles built in the United States were electrically powered.
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RCA Car Record Player
In 1960, Chrysler offered an under-the-dash record player The RCA Victor AP-1, aka Victrola. The Victrola also held 14 records and could play for 2½ hours continuously. It was an absolute failure and was discontinued after the first year.
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Ethyl Road Birds
According to the Federal Trade Commission, “In most cases, using a higher-octane gasoline than your owner's manual recommends offers absolutely no benefit. It won't make your car perform better, go faster, get better mileage or run cleaner.”
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Mebaral - When she overreacts to any situation
If she is reacting like that to a moth, maybe she really needs sedation WITH a sedative daze.
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Ohio Art - Mighty Tiny
Though the sound quality was roughly equal to a transistor radio under a bucket, Ohio Arts billed The Mighty Tiny as the world's smallest record player when it was introduced in 1967.
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Gypsy Fortune Teller
Roma (Gypsy is considered a racial slur) originated in the Punjab region of northern India as a nomadic people and entered Europe between the eighth and tenth centuries C.E. They were called "Gypsies" because Europeans mistakenly believed they came from Egypt.
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Philco - One Way to Handle Vandals
One in a series of advertisements by Philco drawn by leading editorial cartoonists in 1942 in support of the war effort "as an inspiration to the men and women who are helping to produce the weapons of victory." 
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Paxtine toilet antiseptic
A teaspoon of Paxtine dissolved in a quart of warm water was promoted to heal almost everything -- including pregnancy.
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Heroin Hydrochloride
"Heroin Hydrochloride -- The cheapest specific for the relief of coughs" but maybe not the best.
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 This ad was placed in the LA Times by Bugsy Siegel to announce the opening of the mob-owned Flamingo Hotel in 1946. He was killed a year later by his associates who believed he had stolen money from them. 
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NRA's Tipper Flintlock for gun safety
The NRA was formed in 1871 by two Civil War veterans from Northern states who had witnessed the typical soldier’s inexperience with guns. At first the group was mainly concerned with marksmanship. It later played a relatively constructive role regarding safety-minded gun ownership restrictions. From the 1930s to the early 1970s, the NRA was for common sense gun control, but during the 1970s the NRA became much more political and strident in its defense of “gun rights,” which it increasingly defined as nearly absolute under the Second Amendment.
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Hair-Fluff
Dry shampoo has been around in some form or another for centuries, but it doesn't actually clean the hair. Dry shampoos disguise dirt and grease on the scalp and overusing dry shampoo can result in an itchy, dry scalp. 
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Gold Dust Twins
The Gold Dust Twins were advertising icons for a soap company called N. K. Fairbank; created to sell its Gold Dust Washing Powder in the early 1900s.
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Carter's Thrixaline - Train your mustache
With a little time and effort, you should be able to train your mustache to sit, roll over, fetch your newspaper and do minor household chores.
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Lux  - Dishpan Hands
Is dish washing wrecking your hands? Wear gloves. But don't worry. Those soldiers and sailors weren't looking at your hands.
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Friday, July 15, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (66)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Lifebuoy stops BO
Is she washing with that soap or using it to make a phone call?

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New toys for the new season
Those are crappy toys even for 1947.
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Pin-up Girls - The kind men like
Pin-ups began shortly after photography was invented and reached their height of popularity during WW2. By the 1950s, nude photos ("the kind men like") were being marketed as pin-ups in tawdry ads in the back of popular magazines.
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Colgate with Gardol
"Of all leading toothpastes, only Colgate's contains Gardol" a word we made up!
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Pacific Beach lots for sale
 Because of rampant speculation in real estate, San Diego had many boom and bust cycles from the 1880s to the 1910s. In the early 1900s, lots in Pacific Beach were going for only $70. Now, even the tiniest cottages in the area go for over $1M. 
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Laun-Dry-Ette

Made by the Laundryette Manufacturing Company in Cleveland Ohio and patented in 1918, the Laun-Dry-Ette could, using the first spin cycle in a washing machine, wash your clothes and then wring them dry without a wringer
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Magnetic Kidney Belt
As quack cures go, this one has had real staying power. Magnetic Belts are still being sold for back pain, because, according to a recent Walmart ad, "Ancient Chinese wisdom dictates that the ideal number of magnets needed for maximum pain relief is 28." 
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Listerine - lose him in a minute
The way he is reacting to that shameless hussy's attentions, maybe you should lose him in a minute and make sure he stays lost.
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Player's -- Daddy's Favorite
"Daddy" should be in big trouble for using children to advertise tobacco products.
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Barred...because he couldn't entertain
Are you not being invited to parties? Is it really a lack of musical talent, or are you just a boring wallflower?
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Swift's Meats for Babies
How soon can you turn your baby into a carnivore? Doctors say you can start introducing solid food at 6 months, but in 1940 this meat packer was claiming people could start feeding meat to their babies at 3 weeks.
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Mobiloil - Keep your engine clean
Mobiloil - Keeps your engine clean and your environment dirty.
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Longer Cigarettes = Fewer Cigarettes
It's wacky alright.
There's no health benefit because you are still getting the same amount of cancer-causing chemicals.
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Philco Beam of Light
Early phonographs put a lot of pressure on the needle, which in time wore out the records. Philco developed a pickup system that utilized a beam of light bouncing off a mirror connected to a sapphire needle. The reflected light landed on a photovoltaic cell which converted the movement into voltage. The variations in voltage were then amplified by the audio section of the radio as sound from the record.
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Rots O' Ruck
Cartoonish Asian stereotypes were a staple of advertising from the 1930s to the 1960s. This company was still doing it in the 1970s.
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Debbie wants this pair in your car
When selling auto parts it helps to pander to the audience.
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Manhattan Shirt Company swim suit
Yes, you can "make a big splash" by jumping in right on top of two girls.
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Air Shorts
During the 1970s, multiple fitness companies tried to capitalize on the “air shorts” craze. It's hard to believe these sexy inflatable shorts from the 70s didn’t catch-on.
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Creolin banishes Bathroom Odors
Creolin was a concentrated deodorant cleanser marketed for the cleaning of bathrooms, kennels, and barns and as a shampoo for horses and dogs. It contained up to 50% carbolic oil, along with sodium hydroxide and isopropanol (alcohol). At the time, doctors were also using carbolic oil as a local anesthetic.
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Indus-tool Radiation Detector
According to the instructions, the level of background radiation is determined by how fast floating beads drop. Would you trust your safety to this gadget instead of a precision instrument? 
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Automatic Firing Tripod Machine Gun
You can develop "Deadly Target Skill" because it comes with a "Full Supply of Ammunition" = 10 rounds
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Twist 'N Tone
Rotate around for a half hour each day while wearing your business attire and you'll lose weight. If not, the Twist 'N Tone also makes a great Lazy Susan. 
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tri-car suburbanette
The Tri-Car Suburbanette was designed by James V. Martin (1883-1956), a pioneer aviator, engineer, and inventor.  Only one working Tri-Car Surburbanette was ever built and shown at the Universal Travel & Auto Sports Show at Madison Square Garden, New York City, held February 20-27, 1955.
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Cashmere Bouquet - Won't somebody love me?
The "secret to bathing away body odor" is finally revealed = a bath!
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Kellogg's All-Bran
The Senator's "daughter" (that's what he calls her anyway) gets pearls for helping the old coot out.
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Lux - Red, rough hands
"I didn't blame Bill..." even though he won't buy me a pair of rubber gloves to wear while doing HIS dishes.
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GM Electric Car 1955
In 1955, William G. Cobb of General Motors demonstrated the world’s first solar-powered automobile. Today, nearly 70 years later, a mass-produced solar car has yet to hit the market anywhere in the world.
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FACT Cigarettes
FACT: You can still get cancer from smoking our cigarettes.
Brown & Williamson tried this advertising campaign from 1970-1985 to ease the concerns of worried smokers.
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Sunbrite Cleanser
Seriously?
Do I look like someone who cleans? Ask my maid.

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Television is Here
This post-WW2 ad had it right. Television soon became the true opiate of the people.
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