Thursday, February 1, 2024

Funny Vintage Ads (85)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Lead Industries - White lead paint
Lead is a dangerous neurotoxin and researchers have known that for over a century. When reports started coming out in the 1910s and 1920s about lead poisoning of children from chipped paint, the Lead Industries Association intentionally mislead the public about the danger and continued doing so until the mid 1970s when lead paint was finally banned.
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Virol - 1940
Virol - a malt extract preparation that also included bone marrow - was first made in London in 1899 as a nutritional supplement for infants. 
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Waldorf - Mommy was always so cross
According to Waldorf, Mommy was always so cross because there were "splinters" and "dirty specks" in her toilet paper.
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GE Black-Daylite Television
GE Black-Daylite Television claimed to have better reception in rural areas. How that translated into naming it "Black-Daylight" is anybody's guess. 
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Sparkies  - Gene Autry - 1947
"Spark-up with Sparkies!"
We fortify Sparkies by sprinkling a vitamin solution and lots of sugar on our cereal as it travels down the conveyor belt.
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President suspender
C.A. Edgarton and Sons opened a factory in 1881 in Shirley, Mass to produce webbing for suspenders and garters.  In 1930, they merged with the George Frost Belt Company.
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Pong - The newest 2-player video skill game

Pong was first in home video games in the 1970s, but by the time they came out with an arcade model, Space Invaders by Taito, with much better graphics, dominated the market.  
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Ho-Ro-Co - 1920
 Mr. M. G. Roth, President of Ho-Ro-Co Mfg. Co. looks a little scary.
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Pillsbury's Best-1895
Charles A. Pillsbury, along with his father and uncle, founded C.A. Pillsbury & Co. in Minneapolis in 1872. That same year he created an ingenious way to set his flour apart from competitors. At that time, millers used “X”s to distinguish between different grades of flour. Three “X”s on a sack of flour meant it was the highest quality. Charles trademarked the Pillsbury’s Best flour logo with four “X”s, implying that is was far better than even the highest quality of flour produced by any other mill. 
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Gibson's Rip Van Winkle Whisky
Rip Van Winkle left his nagging wife, drank moonshine, and slept for at least 20 years. After he awoke, he saw that everything had changed and that his wife died long ago. Rip was not saddened by the news.
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Bell System Picturephone
 Bell System had a monopoly on phone service and equipment from 1940 to 1982 in the US. They made a lot of promises about picture phones, but never delivered. 
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Kentile
Kentile Floors was founded in 1898 in New York specializing in large, durable tiles made of a range of materials, including as much as 25 percent asbestos. Starting in the 1970s, the company faced thousands of lawsuits over mesothelioma and other asbestos illnesses in workers. Kentile filed for bankruptcy in the 1990s and subsequently went out of business. 
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Make Money Writing Short Paragraphs
"No tedious study!"
Just write a paragraph for a newspaper ad that says you'll teach people how to write paragraphs for money.   
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GE Sunlamp 1955
There's no such thing as a "healthy" tan. UV radiation from the sun or tanning lamps increases the risk of skin cancer and premature aging.
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BOBO the Clown
No thanks! 
Might wanna check this guy's crawlspace.  
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Cushman Scooters
"...gives you an exhilarating sensation of dynamic ruggedness" as you ride your "hog" in a suit.
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Thermos Bottle - 1908
In 1892, Scottish scientist Sir James Dewar invented the vacuum flask. The vacuum acted as insulation to help maintain the temperature of the contents of an inner flask. The idea soon evolved into the workingman's Thermos Bottle as depicted in this 1908 ad. 
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Goldak Company - Find Uranium
During the late 1940's, the U.S. government began offering uranium prospectors rewards of up to $10,000 for locating radioactive ore deposits.
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Pall Mall is bigger
 Pall Mall brand began in London in 1899 in an effort to market the first premium cigarette to the upper class. It was named after Pall Mall, a well-known thoroughfare in London’s St. James that was home to many of the exclusive clubs that rich people frequented. Pall Mall was purchased by the American Tobacco Company in 1907 and was the most popular cigarette in America in the 1960s.
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Johnny Astro Really Flies
Johnny Astro launched a balloon space vehicle and controlled its flight by directing a whirling fan at it. 
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Valley Novelty Range
 Old cast iron wood-burning stoves were built like a tank and weighed almost as much.
Abram Cox Stove Co., the makers of Valley Novelty Ranges, was established by Joseph and David Cox when they purchased a stove foundry in Philadelphia, PA in 1853. 
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Knox Gelatine
"Moral: Men want salads to be tart -- not sweet"
His boss is coming for dinner, so was it really a "plea" or an order?
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Teenage Guide Book
"Approved and recommended by parents" so you know the advice will be really helpful.  

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The Monroe Refrigerator
The Monroe refrigerator, made by the Monroe Refrigeration Company in Lockland, Ohio in the 1910s was a high-quality ice box that "ran" on a fresh block of ice instead of electricity.  
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Jittery Nerves
Perhaps it's the clock?
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John Courage builds up the inner man
Courage and Company was started by John Courage in London in 1787.
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Catherine McCune - Silk Muscle Lifting Mask - 1928

 The 1920s and 30s were a golden age for chin straps, forehead straps, full facial masks and other "beauty enhancing" treatments for women.
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John Wanamaker - 1919
John Wanamaker invented the department store in 1876, when he converted an abandoned Pennsylvania Railroad depot into a multipurpose clothing and specialties store called Wanamaker's.
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Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Funny Vintage Ads (84)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Kung-Fu Sandals
Kung-Fu is Chinese, but these 1970s sandals are made in "Old Japan."
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Elliott's White Veneer
Using a product to turn a black person white was a common advertising trope from the 1870s to the 1950s.
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1917 Coke Bottle
This iconic Coke bottle design lasted from 1917 to 1965.
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Winton Motor Carriage - Dispense with a horse
"Speed from 3 to 20 miles an hour..." 
This first advertisement
in a periodical for an automobile appeared in Scientific American in 1898.
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Dr Jeanne Walter's Medicated Rubber Undergarments  - 1909
Dr Jeanne Walter's Medicated Rubber Undergarments (1909) included Head and Chin Straps and Face Masks. 
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Royal Pudding Ball Game
"Helps kids grow huskier" sounded good in 1955 because most kids were thin.
Royal Dessert, founded in 1929, is owned by the Jel Sert Company, named after their first product, JelSert, a combination of the words Jelly and Dessert.
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Johns-Manville Asbestocel
Asbestocel pipe insulation had corrugated layers of asbestos paper, similar to corrugated "air cell" insulation. 
Asbestocel can still be found installed on low-pressure steam and hot-water pipe systems.  Although medical evidence in the 1930s linked asbestos exposure to mesothelioma, asbestos is still not banned in the United States. 
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Bowlers never get stomach-fag
In 1915, Washington DC area bowling alley owners advertised that bowling cured "Stomach-Fag" and prevented appendicitis. 
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Develop a glamorous bust contour
The Bonomo Culture Institute published a lot of books about healthy living in the 1940s and 50s. All the books were written by Joseph Bonomo, an American weightlifter, strongman, stuntman, and actor. 
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StarPlug 10 cents
Throughout the 19th century, most tobacco in the US was pressed into bricks and sold as "plugs." 
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Kenmore Automatic Dryer
Imagine the luxury and convenience of hanging out in the basement while the dryer runs!  All she needs is a glass of wine and good book.
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Power for Self-Defense
"The Key to Hypnotism" is included for those who prefer mind over muscle.
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Mojud Panty Hose - 1972
This year's crop of panty hose for anorexics is ready for harvest.
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Nervine - Noise
Nervine was a patent medicine tonic with sedative effects introduced in 1884 by Dr. Miles Medical Company (later Miles Laboratories).  Nervine contained bromides, a class of tranquilizers that was eventually banned for their toxicity.
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The Natural Body Brace
  "Cures female weakness"  
They should have called this a maternity belt, but they wanted to sell it to anyone with a low-hanging belly. References to the "female weakness" and the “weaker sex” were common in advertisements until the 1950s.
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Cutler-Hammer Circuit Breaker
"Ends the blown fuse nuisance" but not the overloaded circuit that caused it.
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Fly Centuri Rockets - Rocket Times Magazine

"Rocket Times" Magazine was a favorite of introverted adolescent males in the 1970s who hadn't yet discovered computers. 
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Orizaba - 1874
Orizaba (1854-1887) was one of the first ocean-going steamships in commercial service on the west coast of North America and one of the last side-wheelers in regular use.
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Want to be a Practical Nurse
 In the 1940s, the mail-order Wayne School of Practical Nursing, Inc could actually prepare a HS dropout for an entry-level job in nursing. Now it takes considerably more effort.
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great chicago fire of 1871 triumph insurance company
The Great Chicago Fire of 1871 was hardly a triumph of insurance, except as a scare tactic.
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Sex Facts Book
 
As silly as this looks to us now, this book was actually a best-seller in the 1950s because average people knew almost nothing about the reproductive system.
High School sex education from the 1920s when it began, until well to the 1960s was confined to lectures on abstinence.    
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Bock Beer
Bock was first brewed in the 14th century in Einbeck, Germany. American-style bock beers date back to the 1800s, when they emerged in every region of the U.S. with a large German population. The Minneapolis Brewing & Malting Company began as John Orth's Brewery in 1850. 
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The Washerette
It's always a good sales tactic to depict the customer holding a baby with one hand and operating your appliance with the other. 
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Beer Belongs -- Enjoy It!
"Beer Belongs -- Enjoy It!"
Dad and his pals can knock back a few while listening to the ball game. Meanwhile Ma will look on enviously while serving up snacks.  That's the way the United States Brewers' Foundation depicted American life in 1947 and it was pretty accurate.
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Harriet Carter - Pearl oysters
"...guaranteed to contain one or more genuine cultured pearls -- possibly of surprising value!" 
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A1 and Tuna Fish
A1, tuna fish and cream cheese...what's not to like!
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Proctor - ways to please a lady - 1948
 Is she really happy about getting a toaster for Christmas or is she plotting her revenge?  
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Automobile and Motor Boat Apparel - 1904
Early automobiles had no heater and were completely open to the weather. These rubber coats by Saks were very expensive for the time, but very necessary for winter driving.
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Kodak Wirephoto - 1943
Wirephotos changed the way people understood and consumed the news. It wasn’t just that photos of an event on the other side of the World could now be published alongside news of that event, as groundbreaking as that was. But for the first time in history, millions of people were seeing the same photo of the same event on the same day. Wirephotos dominated newspapers from 1935 to the mid-1970s, when papers began adopting new types of photo technology, eventually leading to the digital world we live in today.
 
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Linia Shorts
"Don't let yourself become one more victim of modern sedentary existence!...The common-sense way to retain your present athletic fitness is to wear Linia Shorts."
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works!

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