Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (62)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Magic Mushroom Trays
 "Magic" in this case meant psilocybin, a naturally-occurring psychoactive and hallucinogenic compound.
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Edison's Veriscope
"Edison's Veriscope" was actually invented by Enoch Rector in 1897. In order to accommodate large reels of film for lengthy viewing times, the camera required three operators. Those operators and the camera equipment had to be housed in a large box that acted as a dark room. 
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Friden 130 electric calculator
The Friden EC-130, one of the first fully transistorized electronic calculators, first sold in 1964 for about $1,695. That's equivalent in purchasing power to about $15,500 today -- a lot for a device that could only add, subtract, multiply and divide.
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Bell System - Familiar Miracle
Imagine spending your workdays testing dials. You could describe it in many ways, but a "familiar miracle" probably isn't one of them.
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Parker girl-sized pen
Is is sexist to suggest that women's hands are usually smaller than men's and that they might appreciate a smaller pen? No, but it is sexist when you refer to all women as "girls."
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Army -- lost chance to make a choice
The United States military has been all-volunteer since 1973, but prior to that, men were "drafted" (forced into military service) as needed by the military. This ad from the 1960s reminds young men that they are under the threat of being drafted and that they will have better options if they join first.
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Stewart-Warner Reproducer
This fancy Art Deco radio speaker from the 1920s cost $30, which would be equivalent to $425 today.
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Rambler '63 with Twin-stick floor shift
Your Rambler '63 comes with a "Twin-Stick Floor Shift" so you can make believe you're driving a sports car instead of a Rambler.
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Land 'OLakes - native design jewelry
in the 1970s, Land 'OLakes doubled-down on their cultural appropriation with this offer for "native design jewelry."
The Native American woman who first appeared on Land 'OLakes labels in 1928, was a racist objectification of indigenous people and was finally removed in 2020.
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Up from Slavery -- New York Vacuum Cleaner
Comparing carpet cleaning to slavery seems a little excessive, but at the turn of the 20th Century, women were not far removed from their own version of servitude via marriage.
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The Peel P.50

The P50 three-wheel microcar is officially the World’s Smallest Car. Made on the Isle of Man from 1962 to 1965, fewer than 30, P50s exist today making it one of the rarest cars in the World.
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Coke -- African Wilds
Ah yes, an ice cold Coke is most refreshing during a long trek through a steaming jungle -- but only for the white folk.
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Petty Girl Hi-Ball Glasses
"Petty Girl" pin-ups were drawn by artist George Petty for Esquire from 1933 until 1956. Petty Girls were depicted with longer legs and smaller heads than normal.
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Edison Decorative and Miniature Lamp Dept
Three years after inventing the incandescent bulb in 1879, Edison's good friend and partner Edward Johnson strung 80 miniature bulbs together and hung them on a Christmas tree at Menlo Park.
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Chicago Metropolitan Mutual -- Merry Christmas
Chicago Metropolitan Mutual shares some of their Christmas spirit by depicting a black boy being beaten up by a white boy.
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Sugar Information Inc
Since 1943, Sugar Information Inc. has been pumping out lies about the supposed nutritional value of sugar. How's that been working out so far for America's children? Childhood obesity has tripled just since the 1970s.
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Spencer Gifts -- Real Live Alligator
Very cute -- until it bites off your finger. Baby alligators turn into very large grown alligators, averaging 8 feet for females and 11 feet for males. The care and feeding of alligators isn’t cheap, either. They eat up to one-quarter of their body weight every day.
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Pepsodent -- Bad Breath
Checking your tongue for signs of bad breath is like checking your arm for signs of body odor.
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Old Fashioned Macy's
Rowland Hussey Macy opened four retail dry goods stores between 1843 and 1855 in Massachusetts. They all failed.  In 1902, what became the flagship store was opened in New York's Herald Square at 34th Street and Broadway.
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American Combat Judo
As a student at the University of Illinois, "Barney" Cosneck won two Big Ten wrestling championships. Later he served as Judo instructor in the armed forces, where he co-authored "How to Fight Tough" with Jack Dempsey. In "American Combat Judo" (1944) he taught effective techniques for defense and counterattack.
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She doesn't care - Conoco
"She Doesn't Care!"
It's a wet t-shirt contest!
But get one drop on her hairdo and she will rip your head off.
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Chesterfield -- highest purity
Contains, "natural sugars and chemically pure, costly gycerol."
It's good to know they use that "costly gycerol" in their cigarettes instead of the cheap stuff.
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Learn Photo Coloring at Home
Photography was invented in 1826. At first people were amazed at the quality of black and white images, but it wasn't long (about 1850) before some folks started paying others to "colorize" existing photos by hand.
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What do you give a bed-wetter for Christmas
"What do you give a bed-wetter for Christmas?"
Public shaming?
And why is the kid's bed next to the Christmas tree?
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Looks like someone threw-up on their breakfast. After two world wars and a great depression, America had pitifully low cuisine standards.
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VI-REX Violet Ray
Manufacturers of violet ray instruments in the early twentieth century made grandiose claims regarding the medical applications of their devices in electro-therapy, presenting them as positive cure-alls for all manner of physical ailments.  
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General Foods - propylene glycol monostearate
Propylene glycol is a substance commonly used as a food additive or ingredient in many cosmetic and hygiene products. It is also an ingredient in antifreeze.
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New Eyelashes
 Gold and platinum beaded eyelashes! This is what passed for a conspicuous display of wealth
in the 1930s. While they’d been around in some form since the late 1800s, a Canadian inventor named Anna Taylor patented false eyelashes in 1911.
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Lux - dishpan hands
"Maybe men respect them..."
If you don't want dishpan hands, make your husband do the dishes, buy a dishwasher or hire a maid.
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Bell Telephone Solar
In 1954, Bell Telephone (later AT&T) demonstrated the first practical solar cell that could convert light into electricity. It was made of silicon and they called it a solar battery.
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