Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (61)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Ayds
Ayds was an appetite-suppressant candy that came in chocolate, butterscotch and caramel flavors. This unfortunately-named product was forced off the shelves in the mid-1980s when the AIDS crisis gained media attention. Their tag line, “Why take diet pills when you can enjoy Ayds?” seemed more than a little ironic.
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DUX Astroman Robot
A classic battery operated remote control
plastic robot. The DUX Astroman was created by Lothar Stanetzki of Bonn, Germany in 1959 and is considered the first of its kind.
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Wilson Ear Drum
George H. Wilson (1866-1949) of Louisville, Kentucky was deaf and he invented the “rimless and self-ventilating” artificial eardrum in 1892 after experimenting on himself. 
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Taylor Instruments - For Bridal Showers
Forget those lovely linens you had your eye on! Register for a meat thermometer so you can cook your roasts the way HE likes them cooked! 
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Bicycle Playing Cards- million miles from the mill
"A million miles from the mill" and helping to win the war by playing gin rummy in his "off" hours. The Army-Navy "E" Award he is wearing was an honor presented to companies during World War II whose production facilities achieved "Excellence in Production" ("E") of war equipment.
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Ostermoor Mattress
Ostermoor began manufacturing in 1853, by claiming to be better than mattresses made out of horse hair, but not only are horse hair mattresses still being sold, they now sell for up to $150,000.
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Better reduce the Ry-Krisp way
Vintage fat-shaming from Ry-Krisp. Starting in the 1930’s, and after being sold to dog food maker Purina, Ry-Krisp heavily advertised itself as a “reducing” product in magazines that were marketed to women and young girls.
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Electricity makes a safer and better barn
Sure, "Electricity makes a safer and better barn" but only if it is installed by a licensed electrician.
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General Electric Television
Many 1950s televisions had beautiful wood cabinets, but the screens were so small that if you wanted to watch the action in a ball game you had to sit about a foot away from the screen.
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3-IN-ONE OIL
3-IN-ONE-OIL was invented in 1894 in Asbury Park, New Jersey
by George W. Cole.
It was originally invented for use on bicycles and Cole touted its ability to “clean, lubricate and protect.”  The formula consists of pale
spindle oil with a small amount of corrosion inhibitor and citronella oil. 
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Uncle Ben's Converted Rice
Uncle Ben was the name of a fictional character first used in 1946, as a reference to an African-American Texan rice farmer. The company said the image used on the Uncle Ben packaging "was a beloved Chicago chef and waiter named Frank Brown. But they could never successfully deny the racist implications of their use of the world "uncle, because during slavery and long after, white people in the southern states would often refer to a black man as ‘uncle’ to avoid using the more respectful ‘mister’. In 2020, after the George Floyd protests, the company finally decided to rebrand as "Ben's Rice."
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Monopoly
The earliest known version of Monopoly, known as The Landlord's Game, was designed by American Elizabeth Magie, in 1902 to illustrate how rents enriched property owners and impoverished tenants.
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Donner 3500 Analog Computer
The Donner 3500 Analog Computer was first offered for sale in 1959. In order to solve a single equation, you had to arrange a series of patch cords in a certain way. To solve a different problem, you had to rearrange the patch cords. It was both slow and tedious, but it was a computer and it was portable.
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Sanilac Cattle Spray
Stop flies by spraying your cows with petroleum distillates! Sanilac Cattle Spray was a product of the Socony Vacuum Oil Co that was founded in 1866 and joined Standard Oil of New Jersey in 1931.
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Toyota Town Spider
The Toyota Town Spider, introduced in 1973, could connect to a “central computerized control center” to give the driver information about traffic and weather, and alert the driver to road detours and car accidents. The car included a telephone, something only the rich could afford.
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Air France Jet
 Air France "De Luxe Class" where you can stare off into space when the steward asks you to approve the wine you'll be having with your pheasant.
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Pompeian Night Cream
Pompeian Night Cream was introduced in 1915 by "America's Sweetheart" Mary Pickford. For 10 cents in coin or stamps a customer could also purchase a 3 feet tall by 7¼ inches wide poster with an full color portrait of Mary Pickford.
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ball bearing bicycle shoes
Ball-Bearing in this case means bearing your weight on the balls of your feet while riding a bicycle.
C. H. Fargo (1824-1892) came to Chicago in 1856 and started a boot and shoe manufacturing company. The firm went bankrupt in 1906.

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Beautyrest -- larger mattress
Mattress size didn't increase to keep pace with people getting taller until long after most men's feet were hanging over the edge. 
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Scott Tissue - Women sense it immediately
"Women sense it immediately" even from the couch. If Scott Tissue is adding to your "atmosphere of elegance" then your house must be toilet.
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Southern Rhodesia
Rhodesia was named in honor of Cecil Rhodes, the British empire-builder and key figure during the British expansion into southern Africa in the late 1800s. The "millions of acres" and "unique openings for farmers" mentioned in this 1923 poster were only for white British subjects.
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Bull Durham Tobacco
Bull Durham Smoking Tobacco was a brand of loose-leaf tobacco manufactured by W.T. Blackwell and Company in Durham, North Carolina, that originated around the 1850s. Durham was so successful at using racist stereotypes in their advertising that by 1900 they were one of the most recognizable trademarks in the world.  
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Triumph Johnson Motors
Bill Johnson helped establish Triumph Motorcycles in the United States. Located in Los Angeles, his company, Johnson Motors, imported and sold British-made motorcycles starting in the late 1930s when foreign-made motorcycles were a rare sight on American roads.
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Ask Your Grocer for Bee Soap
Adding a little honey to soap helps heal damaged skin. Honey is also an antioxidant and an antimicrobial.
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Thomas Crapper
In the 1880s, Thomas Crapper manufactured one of the first widely successful lines of flush toilets. Crapper did not invent the toilet, but he did develop the ballcock and the u-bend plumbing trap still used in toilets today.
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Dr Paul Bouchaud's Flesh Reducing Soap

 It seems obvious to most of us now that soap can't reduce fat, but there are plenty of anti-cellulite creams being sold today that make many of the same claims as this ad from 1926.
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Dodge 1955 La Femme
The 1955 Dodge La Femme
was specifically designed for women. The dealer pamphlets, titled “By Special Appointment to Her Majesty... the American Woman" promoted the car "for a "discriminating, modern woman."
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Allcock's Plasters
Thomas Allcock (1815–1891) the founder of the Allcock Manufacturing Company was a chemist before
the American Civil War and an artillery officer in the Union Army during the war.
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Jell-o Salads
Hey Kids! We're having lime Jell-o with olives and celery for dinner.
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Toast without fire
The first electric toasters were invented in 1905 and only toasted on one side at a time.