Friday, November 19, 2021

Funny Vintage Ads (59)


  Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

Fablon - Go Gay
Fablon was a self-sticking vinyl shelf paper and wallpaper developed in the 1960s.
Tom Corbett, Space Cadet

In the early 1950s on the TV show Tom Corbett Space Cadet, Tom Corbett, along with his friends: Astro and Roger Manning, were cadets at the Space Academy who had many space adventures as they trained to become members of the elite Solar Guard.
Morris Oxford Saloon Car
A "Saloon Car" sounds like a car with a bar, but in British English it just means a car with a trunk.
Kotex - Are you in the know
"Just try all 3 sizes of Kotex; you'll find the one that's very personally yours."
Gold Dust Twins
The Gold Dust Twins, the trademark for Fairbank's Gold Dust washing powder products, appeared in printed media as early as 1892. "Goldie" and "Dusty", the original Gold Dust Twins, were often shown doing household chores together.
Save your child from autocracy and poverty
There was lots of home-grown poverty in the US in 1918, when this poster was created for the War Department.
Rico-Brazil mate
Mate is a traditional South American caffeine-rich infused drink that is made by soaking dried leaves of the holly species Ilex paraguariensis in hot water. 
Kelsey Hayes - bomb shelter
File this one under "false sense of security."
"You can protect your family against fallout" (but not harmful radiation) with a steel structure.
Doug Thorley Show Tubes
The key to successful marketing is to know your audience.
Packer's Tar Soap - Pure as the pines
Packer's Pine Tar Soap, manufactured since 1869 contains natural pine tar. Pine tar soap is effective in soothing psoriasis and eczema, reducing itching of the scalp due to dandruff, easing inflammation of the body, relieve itching associated with bug bites, and treating other skin irritations. It is also useful to soothe and treat symptoms of poison ivy.
Taryton - rather fight than switch
"Us Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch!" was a slogan that appeared in magazine, newspaper, and television advertisements for Tareyton cigarettes from 1963 until 1981. 
Van Camps - Don't try to bake beans
Legumes contain proteins called lectins.
Consumed in large amounts, lectins may interfere with digestion, cause intestinal damage, and interfere with hormone balance in your body. Fortunately, proper cooking largely inactivates lectins.
Did you ever see a fat Chinese?
Yes, as a matter of fact.
In 1967, advertisers still relied on racist stereotypes.
A cigar brings out the caveman in you
"A cigar brings out the caveman in you"
And you think that's a good thing? 
Poop or Gold
 Yeah, it "might be filled with real gold" but it's not.
Johnson's Baby Powder
It's been over 80 years since this ad appeared and Johnson & Johnson is currently using a controversial bankruptcy maneuver to block roughly 38,000 lawsuits linked to claims that its baby powder was contaminated with cancer-causing asbestos.
Jet-Tower Dishwashing
Early dishwashers weren't very practical and the Youngstown Dishwasher actually created more work than it saved. It was also noisy, expensive to run and prone to break down.
Colgate - Woman Hater
"Is he a woman-hater or..."
Or what? Gay? Can't say that in a 1950s ad.
1967 Irradiette Record Eater
 The 1967 Irradiette Record Eater ran on six "D" size batteries, making it quite heavy to lug around.
Do you still beat your wife?
Spanking might be fun if both are into it, as these two seem to be. Beating, not so much.
Love's Baby Soft
This sexualization of a child and her innocence is horrifying and unacceptable. It's as if the ad was written by and for pedophiles. 
Jade East - If she doesn't give it to you get it yourself
Jade East encouraged men to actually go out and buy something for themselves instead of sending their wives out to get it for them, but then had to add some cheap sexual innuendo. 
Louisville Slugger - Babe Ruth
The first professional baseball bat was created by 17-year-old John Andrew "Bud" Hillerich at his father's woodworking shop for baseball superstar Pete Browning in 1884. Pete Browning’s nickname was "The Louisville Slugger." and the name "Louisville Slugger" became a registered trademark in 1894.
Titanic - the world's largest liner
In 1912, the RMS Titanic was not only the largest passenger ship in the world, it was the largest ship ever built. After hitting an iceberg on its maiden voyage it was the deadliest peacetime sinking of a cruise ship ever.
Volkswagen - Your wife
Translation: Sooner or later your wife will wreck the car and you'll be glad you bought one that's cheap to repair.
Hennessy Cognac
You have to wonder what the black servant is so happy about -- unless he was hitting the cognac while working in the galley. 

Glory-B racist crate label
Growers first started using fruit and vegetable crate labels in the late 19th century. Packers sold their produce with colorful, attractive and racially offensive labels in order to generate more business at the local market.
Oldsmobile Hydra-Matic Drive
Hydra-Matic was an automatic transmission developed by both General Motors' Cadillac and Oldsmobile divisions, and introduced in 1939 for the 1940 model year. The Hydra-Matic wasn't the first automatic transmission, but it was the first affordable one that worked properly.
Lux Diamonds laundry soap
Lux Soap was introduced to America in 1925 by the Lever Brothers. It was a white soap packaged in pastel colors designed to be comparable to the finer French soaps, but more affordable. In the 1940s, Lux was claiming "Lux Diamonds" were gentle on hands, but would remove tough stains while not damaging colors.
Kodak Brownie with Developing Box
"You Press the Button, We Do the Rest" was an advertising slogan coined by George Eastman, the founder of Kodak, in 1888. By 1915, Kodak
created the Kodak Box for those who wanted to do their own film developing and printing.