Monday, February 6, 2023

Funny Vintage Ads (73)

  Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Draw for money - Be an artist
Correspondence schools were operating as early as the 1890s, but the 1920s through the 1950s was their heyday. The Washington School of Art was once a legitimate art school, but the one thing they didn't teach was how to get paying work as an artist.
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Combaults - Good for man or beast
Hey, if it's good enough for your horse, it's good enough for you. 
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1807 London Walking Dress
What the well-dressed lady wore in London in 1807 - a walking dress for people who didn't have to do much walking.
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Spooky Pies
From the Facebook Marketplace: Spooky Pies!
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Gulf Roadmaps
Maps were available for free at most gas stations prior to the 1970s. In this ad, Gulf is offering to provide a "free, personally marked map of your trip" with "points of interest along the way."  
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The Veiled Prophet St Louis
The Veiled Prophet Parade was a yearly celebration in St. Louis, Missouri, over which a mythical figure called the Veiled Prophet presided. The first events were held in 1878.
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RCA Victor - the pick of the portables
Prior to the invention of the transistor in 1954, this was as "portable" as portable music devices got.
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Fleishmans Fresh Yeast
Yeast was marketed to teenagers as a treatment for acne in the 1940s, and in fact yeast is a great source of vitamins and minerals, and it also contains all nine essential amino acids.
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Our best movie projector
 "Our Best Movie Projector" is just as cheap and pathetic as our peep shows.
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Prudential - dollar a day
Once upon a time, $10,000 was quite a windfall. Now, not so much.
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The Farmer's Wife
"The Farmer's Wife" looks like she's about to pass out.
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You can win free milk - Welded Wire
What is the milkman saying?
We put a wire around our paper seal to make it seem more sanitary.
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Ridgid Portable Drive
Sexist? Absolutely.
The best pinups have always been distributed as advertising posters and calendars for display in such traditionally male territory as auto shops and hardware distributors. 
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Chevrolet Observation Car Visibility
A new innovation in automobile design: Windows!
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Kiddie Koop
Don't "handle" your baby so much. That's bad for him. Baby needs to be left "Severely" (strictly or harshly) alone. Just put him in the Kiddie-Koop and ignore his cries for attention.
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Hip pad and bustle
Large female bottoms go in and out of style about every 50 years or so.
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Donner 3500
The "portable" (28 lbs) Donner 3500 analog computer was first introduced in 1959, and was programmed by patch cords. 
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Morley ear-drum 1902
Unlike assistive aids to hearing, artificial eardrums were initially constructed as a surgical prosthetic, a replacement of a damaged part to become integrated with a user’s body.
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HBO - The great Entertainment Alternative
HBO pioneered modern pay television with its launch on November 8, 1972.  
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Hertz - a word to the wives
Ladies, if your husband is hogging the family car, just wait for him to tell you it's OK to rent a car from Hertz. 
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Dr. Hommel's Haematogen
Dr. Hommel's Haematogen was made from cow and ox blood. 
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Mista Joe Produce
They wanted to use "Uncle Tom" in this produce crate label, but decided "Mista Joe" would be a little less obvious and still get the point across.
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Heil Hitler - TOBE
During WW2 there was a rubber shortage, so if you were "driving carelessly or fast or needlessly" that meant you were helping Hitler.
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You can learn to play the drums
"The ladies love a drummer"
 That has never been true.
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Heli-home
The Heli-Home was a RV packaged as a helicopter. It even had optional floats that allowed it to land on water. Winnebago marketed it as “the most dramatic, comfortable, convenient and unique RV in the world.” 
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"It's his tobacco that won't pass the indoor test."
Make him go outside to smoke his stinky pipe and remind him that people who smoke pipes are more likely to develop cancers of the head and neck, liver, and lung as compared to nonsmokers.  
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The Stone Method
The Stone Method was a "system of concentrated exertion, by which more exercise is actually obtained in 10 minutes than by the use of apparatus two hours, and embraces a thorough course in deep breathing without extra expense." 
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100 Toy Soldiers
"Each with its own base" because they are all flat and wouldn't stand up otherwise.
"Packed in a" cardboard "footlocker!"
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Texas - Gim-Me-More Onions
Texas farmers pride themselves on their onions -- and their racism. 
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Father's Day Chocolate
A little inappropriate for Father's Day.
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