Thursday, February 1, 2024

Funny Vintage Ads (85)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Lead Industries - White lead paint
Lead is a dangerous neurotoxin and researchers have known that for over a century. When reports started coming out in the 1910s and 1920s about lead poisoning of children from chipped paint, the Lead Industries Association intentionally mislead the public about the danger and continued doing so until the mid 1970s when lead paint was finally banned.
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Virol - 1940
Virol - a malt extract preparation that also included bone marrow - was first made in London in 1899 as a nutritional supplement for infants. 
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Waldorf - Mommy was always so cross
According to Waldorf, Mommy was always so cross because there were "splinters" and "dirty specks" in her toilet paper.
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GE Black-Daylite Television
GE Black-Daylite Television claimed to have better reception in rural areas. How that translated into naming it "Black-Daylight" is anybody's guess. 
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Sparkies  - Gene Autry - 1947
"Spark-up with Sparkies!"
We fortify Sparkies by sprinkling a vitamin solution and lots of sugar on our cereal as it travels down the conveyor belt.
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President suspender
C.A. Edgarton and Sons opened a factory in 1881 in Shirley, Mass to produce webbing for suspenders and garters.  In 1930, they merged with the George Frost Belt Company.
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Pong - The newest 2-player video skill game

Pong was first in home video games in the 1970s, but by the time they came out with an arcade model, Space Invaders by Taito, with much better graphics, dominated the market.  
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Ho-Ro-Co - 1920
 Mr. M. G. Roth, President of Ho-Ro-Co Mfg. Co. looks a little scary.
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Pillsbury's Best-1895
Charles A. Pillsbury, along with his father and uncle, founded C.A. Pillsbury & Co. in Minneapolis in 1872. That same year he created an ingenious way to set his flour apart from competitors. At that time, millers used “X”s to distinguish between different grades of flour. Three “X”s on a sack of flour meant it was the highest quality. Charles trademarked the Pillsbury’s Best flour logo with four “X”s, implying that is was far better than even the highest quality of flour produced by any other mill. 
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Gibson's Rip Van Winkle Whisky
Rip Van Winkle left his nagging wife, drank moonshine, and slept for at least 20 years. After he awoke, he saw that everything had changed and that his wife died long ago. Rip was not saddened by the news.
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Bell System Picturephone
 Bell System had a monopoly on phone service and equipment from 1940 to 1982 in the US. They made a lot of promises about picture phones, but never delivered. 
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Kentile
Kentile Floors was founded in 1898 in New York specializing in large, durable tiles made of a range of materials, including as much as 25 percent asbestos. Starting in the 1970s, the company faced thousands of lawsuits over mesothelioma and other asbestos illnesses in workers. Kentile filed for bankruptcy in the 1990s and subsequently went out of business. 
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Make Money Writing Short Paragraphs
"No tedious study!"
Just write a paragraph for a newspaper ad that says you'll teach people how to write paragraphs for money.   
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GE Sunlamp 1955
There's no such thing as a "healthy" tan. UV radiation from the sun or tanning lamps increases the risk of skin cancer and premature aging.
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BOBO the Clown
No thanks! 
Might wanna check this guy's crawlspace.  
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Cushman Scooters
"...gives you an exhilarating sensation of dynamic ruggedness" as you ride your "hog" in a suit.
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Thermos Bottle - 1908
In 1892, Scottish scientist Sir James Dewar invented the vacuum flask. The vacuum acted as insulation to help maintain the temperature of the contents of an inner flask. The idea soon evolved into the workingman's Thermos Bottle as depicted in this 1908 ad. 
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Goldak Company - Find Uranium
During the late 1940's, the U.S. government began offering uranium prospectors rewards of up to $10,000 for locating radioactive ore deposits.
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Pall Mall is bigger
 Pall Mall brand began in London in 1899 in an effort to market the first premium cigarette to the upper class. It was named after Pall Mall, a well-known thoroughfare in London’s St. James that was home to many of the exclusive clubs that rich people frequented. Pall Mall was purchased by the American Tobacco Company in 1907 and was the most popular cigarette in America in the 1960s.
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Johnny Astro Really Flies
Johnny Astro launched a balloon space vehicle and controlled its flight by directing a whirling fan at it. 
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Valley Novelty Range
 Old cast iron wood-burning stoves were built like a tank and weighed almost as much.
Abram Cox Stove Co., the makers of Valley Novelty Ranges, was established by Joseph and David Cox when they purchased a stove foundry in Philadelphia, PA in 1853. 
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Knox Gelatine
"Moral: Men want salads to be tart -- not sweet"
His boss is coming for dinner, so was it really a "plea" or an order?
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Teenage Guide Book
"Approved and recommended by parents" so you know the advice will be really helpful.  

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The Monroe Refrigerator
The Monroe refrigerator, made by the Monroe Refrigeration Company in Lockland, Ohio in the 1910s was a high-quality ice box that "ran" on a fresh block of ice instead of electricity.  
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Jittery Nerves
Perhaps it's the clock?
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John Courage builds up the inner man
Courage and Company was started by John Courage in London in 1787.
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Catherine McCune - Silk Muscle Lifting Mask - 1928

 The 1920s and 30s were a golden age for chin straps, forehead straps, full facial masks and other "beauty enhancing" treatments for women.
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John Wanamaker - 1919
John Wanamaker invented the department store in 1876, when he converted an abandoned Pennsylvania Railroad depot into a multipurpose clothing and specialties store called Wanamaker's.
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works!

 Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!