Friday, July 15, 2022

Funny Vintage Ads (66)


 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

Lifebuoy stops BO
Is she washing with that soap or using it to make a phone call?

New toys for the new season
Those are crappy toys even for 1947.
Pin-up Girls - The kind men like
Pin-ups began shortly after photography was invented and reached their height of popularity during WW2. By the 1950s, nude photos ("the kind men like") were being marketed as pin-ups in tawdry ads in the back of popular magazines.
Colgate with Gardol
"Of all leading toothpastes, only Colgate's contains Gardol" a word we made up!
Pacific Beach lots for sale
 Because of rampant speculation in real estate, San Diego had many boom and bust cycles from the 1880s to the 1910s. In the early 1900s, lots in Pacific Beach were going for only $70. Now, even the tiniest cottages in the area go for over $1M. 

Made by the Laundryette Manufacturing Company in Cleveland Ohio and patented in 1918, the Laun-Dry-Ette could, using the first spin cycle in a washing machine, wash your clothes and then wring them dry without a wringer
Magnetic Kidney Belt
As quack cures go, this one has had real staying power. Magnetic Belts are still being sold for back pain, because, according to a recent Walmart ad, "Ancient Chinese wisdom dictates that the ideal number of magnets needed for maximum pain relief is 28." 
Listerine - lose him in a minute
The way he is reacting to that shameless hussy's attentions, maybe you should lose him in a minute and make sure he stays lost.
Player's -- Daddy's Favorite
"Daddy" should be in big trouble for using children to advertise tobacco products.
Barred...because he couldn't entertain
Are you not being invited to parties? Is it really a lack of musical talent, or are you just a boring wallflower?
Swift's Meats for Babies
How soon can you turn your baby into a carnivore? Doctors say you can start introducing solid food at 6 months, but in 1940 this meat packer was claiming people could start feeding meat to their babies at 3 weeks.
Mobiloil - Keep your engine clean
Mobiloil - Keeps your engine clean and your environment dirty.
Longer Cigarettes = Fewer Cigarettes
It's wacky alright.
There's no health benefit because you are still getting the same amount of cancer-causing chemicals.
Philco Beam of Light
Early phonographs put a lot of pressure on the needle, which in time wore out the records. Philco developed a pickup system that utilized a beam of light bouncing off a mirror connected to a sapphire needle. The reflected light landed on a photovoltaic cell which converted the movement into voltage. The variations in voltage were then amplified by the audio section of the radio as sound from the record.
Rots O' Ruck
Cartoonish Asian stereotypes were a staple of advertising from the 1930s to the 1960s. This company was still doing it in the 1970s.
Debbie wants this pair in your car
When selling auto parts it helps to pander to the audience.
Manhattan Shirt Company swim suit
Yes, you can "make a big splash" by jumping in right on top of two girls.
Air Shorts
During the 1970s, multiple fitness companies tried to capitalize on the “air shorts” craze. It's hard to believe these sexy inflatable shorts from the 70s didn’t catch-on.
Creolin banishes Bathroom Odors
Creolin was a concentrated deodorant cleanser marketed for the cleaning of bathrooms, kennels, and barns and as a shampoo for horses and dogs. It contained up to 50% carbolic oil, along with sodium hydroxide and isopropanol (alcohol). At the time, doctors were also using carbolic oil as a local anesthetic.
Indus-tool Radiation Detector
According to the instructions, the level of background radiation is determined by how fast floating beads drop. Would you trust your safety to this gadget instead of a precision instrument? 
Automatic Firing Tripod Machine Gun
You can develop "Deadly Target Skill" because it comes with a "Full Supply of Ammunition" = 10 rounds
Twist 'N Tone
Rotate around for a half hour each day while wearing your business attire and you'll lose weight. If not, the Twist 'N Tone also makes a great Lazy Susan. 
tri-car suburbanette
The Tri-Car Suburbanette was designed by James V. Martin (1883-1956), a pioneer aviator, engineer, and inventor.  Only one working Tri-Car Surburbanette was ever built and shown at the Universal Travel & Auto Sports Show at Madison Square Garden, New York City, held February 20-27, 1955.
Cashmere Bouquet - Won't somebody love me?
The "secret to bathing away body odor" is finally revealed = a bath!
Kellogg's All-Bran
The Senator's "daughter" (that's what he calls her anyway) gets pearls for helping the old coot out.
Lux - Red, rough hands
"I didn't blame Bill..." even though he won't buy me a pair of rubber gloves to wear while doing HIS dishes.
GM Electric Car 1955
In 1955, William G. Cobb of General Motors demonstrated the world’s first solar-powered automobile. Today, nearly 70 years later, a mass-produced solar car has yet to hit the market anywhere in the world.
FACT Cigarettes
FACT: You can still get cancer from smoking our cigarettes.
Brown & Williamson tried this advertising campaign from 1970-1985 to ease the concerns of worried smokers.
Sunbrite Cleanser
Do I look like someone who cleans? Ask my maid.


Television is Here
This post-WW2 ad had it right. Television soon became the true opiate of the people.


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Brittney Griner is NOT an innocent victim


Brittney Griner

Empathy should be reserved for victims of unfortunate circumstances—not celebrities who think laws/rules don’t apply to them.

If Griner is a victim of anything, it's her own inflated sense of importance. When you leave America, you leave American justice and are at the mercy of foreigners and their laws. People caught with illegal drugs in a foreign country are subject to the drug laws of that country, not those of the United States. Sentences range from fines to years of hard labor and even the death penalty.

Griner knew she was visiting an authoritarian country with horrible jails, that was about to go to war against Ukraine and was threatening the US, and she broke the law of that country. She now claims it was an "accident" but even if you accept that excuse, it still wouldn't make it in our national interest to make her a cause celebre or trade some high value Russian prisoner for her.

So many in the media and online are trying to make this about her race, her sexual preference or her gender, but her arrest had nothing to do with any of that. She made a mistake in a place where mistakes can be very costly.

It's not "our fault" as some have alleged, that Griner was only making about $220K in the WNBA and therefore "had" to travel to Russia to be paid $1M per year to play while also supporting the Russian oligarchy by standing for the Russian anthem as a show of respect for those who were paying her hefty salary. She did that after refusing to stand for the American anthem during WNBA games. That was her right, of course, but it's a bad look when you do that and then go to Russia and pay respects to their anthem.

The U.S. State Department officials have classified Griner as “wrongfully detained,” which they often do when there is an indication that politics are involved. But she was not wrongfully detained according to Russian law and she has admitted to possessing the cannabis. 

Marc Fogel, an American teacher who previously worked for the U.S. Embassy in Moscow, was convicted of drug smuggling in June 2022 for 21 grams of cannabis he needed for medical issues — by the same court that is handling Ms. Griner’s case — and he got 14 years in a high-security penal colony. Meanwhile, the State Department isn't claiming Marc Fogel was “wrongfully detained” but then he isn't in the WNBA either. 

The Russian Federation first invited Brittney Griner to play basketball in Russia in 2015 and she has gone there to play every year since. Her lawyers have offered as part of her defense that she has a doctor's note to use cannabis for pain. Of course that has no effect in Russia. 

Does anyone really think this is the first time she brought her cannabis vapes with her when traveling and it was just an "accident" that it happened this time? Try claiming in the US that it was an "accident" you broke the law or that you shouldn't be arrested for doing something illegal you've done before without being arrested and see how far you get with that.

We should not be offering any concessions to get Griner back

Pressuring the US President, Congress and the American public to make concessions, like a prisoner swap using Victor Bout, aka the "Merchant of Death" is not in the national interest of the United States. Not only is it a terrible idea, but all of this attention only increases Griner's value to Putin as a bargaining chip.

And who is Victor Bout?
He is a notorious Russian arms dealer who used his multiple air transport companies to smuggle weapons since the collapse of the Soviet Union from Eastern Europe to Africa and the Middle East during the 1990s and early 2000s.  Bout is serving a 25-year federal prison sentence for conspiring to sell weapons to people who said they planned to kill Americans. 

Is Griner worth that? No, she is not.

Ultimately, trading a basketball star arrested with a small amount of hashish oil could result in more Americans being unjustly arrested and used as hostages for future swaps. 

Is Griner worth that? No, she is not. 

The US should certainly make an effort to get her and all other Americans being held by Russia freed, but not at any cost. Griner's supporters were initially keeping her arrest quiet in the hope that she might be released quickly. When it became clear that she was going to be prosecuted before any deal was struck, her supporters took her story public and they've gotten a tremendous amount of favorable coverage. Biden had to make a public display of support; important for domestic consumption, sure, but ultimately raising her potential value in a trade.

They should have waited till after the show trial was over. With Russia's war in Ukraine and the threat it poses to all of Europe and the US, this is not the time for a lot of drama over a famous basketball player who got caught with drugs being treated harshly by Russia's justice system. Our enemies only care about our drama to the extent that they can use it to their advantage. It would have been best to keep the negotiations over her private, until after she is sentenced. Then if they can't cut a deal in private, turn up the heat in public. Now whatever Biden does, he will look weak and Putin will benefit.

Update 7/28/2022

The Russians have made it quite clear from day one that there would be no negotiations until after Griner is convicted. And yet, the US has actually put an offer on the table already that would release Victor Bout, aka the "Merchant of Death" in exchange for Griner and Paul Whelan, an American accused by the Russians of spying and serving a 16 year prison sentence. 

Meanwhile, no offers are being made to secure the release of Marc Fogel, but the Russian government replied to the U.S.'s initial offer for Griner and Whelan by requesting that convicted murderer Vadim Krasikov be part of the exchange, even though Krasikov is serving a life sentence in a German prison for a killing that was ordered by Putin. The Russians actually expect us to pressure the Germans to release Krasikov! This is what happens when, because of public pressure, you undercut your own negotiating position before negotiations even start.



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