Thursday, May 2, 2019

Funny Vintage Ads (26)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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It's great to be regular
Wow, those people really like laxatives, look how happy they are!
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What does douching with DEMURE have to do with your husband?

Douching products might actually bad for you, but in the 1960s, women were douching with Lysol and other products, like Demure, because "every husband wants his wife to be feminine ... in every sense of the word." Apparently, having a vagina wasn't feminine enough.
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Loaded -- Don't take chances with Pickups
In Victorian times a “loose woman” meant that her corset wasn't tied that tightly, allowing for easier removal.
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How to prospect for Atomic Minerals
The post-World War II Atomic Age spawned one of the more frenzied fads of the fad-crazy 1950s: prospecting for uranium. Geiger counters and all other kinds of equipment for uranium hunting began hitting the marketplace as thousands of miners, prospectors, rock hounds and weekend dabblers hoped to strike it rich.
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radiation need not be feared
 This poster was produced at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in 1947 to remind personnel of radiation safety practices.
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An Electric Massage for Miladay
"Note that the handles of the spoons are insulated with windings of tape, so that all danger of a jolt is eliminated. Apply the spoons to the face..."
So, tape the spoon handles to protect your hands from electric shock and then apply spoons to your face?

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Mennen's borated talcum toilet powder   
The Mennen Company was founded in 1878 by Gerhard Heinrich Mennen, an immigrant from Germany. His first product was talcum-based powder, an innovation at the time.  The company was led by several generations of the Mennen family before being sold to Colgate in 1992.
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Eveready - I poured a death potion for my sick baby

"My hand shook so in the dark I kept spilling the medicine and I realized I must have light to measure a proper dose...Is it any wonder that I now write to let you know that my husband and I have fresh dated ‘Eveready’ batteries to thank for our baby’s life." Well, that and my timely realization that I shouldn't measure out medicine in the dark.
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In the first decades of the twentieth century, the only ads featuring African Americans were racist advertisements that used black caricatures to advertise to white consumers.
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Bordens Elsie - If it's Borden's it's got to be good
The Elsie the Cow character was created as a mascot for the Borden Dairy Company in 1936 to symbolize the "perfect dairy product. Elmer the Bull was created in 1940 as the mascot for Elmer's Glue" 
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Learn to Mount Birds and Animals

"To all men & boys! Here is fun and profit!"
If you think mounting dead animals is fun then you are probably a little creepy.

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Motorola Handie Talkie 
Canadian inventor Donald Hings was the first to create a portable radio system in a backpack. The first handheld walkie-talkie was the AM SCR-536 transceiver made by Motorola in 1941. The use of hand-held radios in WW2, revolutionized the command and control of small squad-size units while improving situational awareness for commanders.
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Odorono - wrong deodorant

 "Keeps underarms sweet and dry for up to 3 days"
Odorono’s active ingredient, aluminum chloride, had to be suspended in acid to remain effective.The acid solution meant Odorono could irritate sensitive armpit skin and damage clothing. The antiperspirant was also red-colored, so it would often stain clothing.


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How to talk on the Telephone
"When someone calls you, let the person who called end the talk. Of course, if someone talks on and on, you may have to say "I'm sorry, but I have to stop now. Thank you for calling.""
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Nigger Boy Licorice
Nigger Boy licorice was first manufactured by National Licorice Pty Ltd, in Melbourne in 1902. Into early 1960s, this offensive brand name was still popular in Australia.
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Colgate Fresh
"Colgate wakes Kyle up every morning. Zingy. Minty."
Kyle Rote Jr. played seven seasons in the North American Soccer League
Colgate was the first toothpaste in a collapsible tube, introduced in 1896 in New York City.


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Unpleasant Odour is Caused by Underarm Hair
 Actually, body odor is caused by bacteria breaking down sweat.
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Doctor Ray Vaughn Pierce 1840 – 1914 manufactured and sold patent medicines, and he established the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute in Buffalo, New York.
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Instant Party Doll
"You'll think of a thousand uses for her."
What top hat wearing gentleman in the 1950s wouldn't want an "Instant Party Doll" with measurements of 40-20-40?

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Radio Shack

RadioShack began in 1920s Boston as a ham radio shop and sold the first mass produced home computers in the 1970s. The company expanded to 7,000 stores by the 1980s and then began a long, slow decline resulting in them declaring bankruptcy in 2015 and 2017.

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Spare Yourself Embarrassment
"Spare Yourself Embarrassment" over clumping salt!
The Morton Salt Company developed a new breakthrough in table salt technology in 1911, by reducing the grain size and adding a small amount of magnesium carbonate, an anti-caking agent.

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Panagra - Gay South America
 "Today's man-about-the-world heads for gay South America" where he will find lots of middle-aged men and women.
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"No dieting or exercising. Be as slim as you wish. Acts like magic in reducing double chin, abdomen, ungainly ankle, unbecoming wrists, arms and shoulders, large busts, or any superfluous fat on body."
Wash away your fat with our soap made from animal fats!

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Black Bandit Italian Stiletto
"Opens With Supersonic Speed"
and creates a sonic boom to scare your attacker.

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 Become a witch
 "My husband got the exact job you worked on for him" What? If they're teaching you how to be a witch, shouldn't you be the one who "works on" getting a job for your husband?
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Smoking Cartoon Characters
 The perfect gift for impressionable young minds... 
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Gold Medal Flour - We Lead - Others Follow
In 1880, at the First Millers International Exhibition, held in Cincinnati, Ohio. Washburn-Crosby Co. took the three top prizes, including the gold medal. As orders poured in for their best blend, they changed the name to Gold Medal Flour. In 1928, Washburn-Crosby President James Ford Bell merged Washburn-Crosby and 28 other mills and named the company General Mills.
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Mixer - It's just what I wanted
A mixer? Is that REALLY what you wanted?
Never give an appliance to your wife as a gift -- unless you also sleep with one eye open.

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Pep - So you're the town's best sitter outer

"Pah'don me suh! But de young lady sent me to de kitchen for dis Kellogg's PEP. Said you all might be a little short on vitamins."
Black characters in 1950s advertising were always represented as servants and speaking with a "plantation" dialect.
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 Lucky Strike - So round, so firm, so fully packed 

The slogan "So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw" was first heard in 1944 on the Jack Benny radio program.

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