Funny Vintage Ads (88)

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Portrait Cold Wave Permanent - for you and your Mini-Me.

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Your dolly just slipped us a note saying, "Help me!"

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"odorless feature which not only prevents escape of smell into the room, but prevents impregnation of wood." In other words, it has a chamber pot with a cover.

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  Dr Miles Anti-Pain Pills contained acetanilid, which could cause cancer and various blood disorders.

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Apparently this girl has your favorite cigarettes and she insists that you walk to her place if you want them.
In 1921, RJ Reynolds launched the highly successful “I’d Walk a Mile for a Camel” ad slogan and was still using variations of it in the 1970s. 

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The Reliant Regal is a small three-wheeled car and van that was manufactured from 1952 to 1973 by the Reliant Motor Company in Tamworth, England. Mr. Bean, of the long-running British comedy series has had a feud with the unseen driver of a three-wheeled, light-blue 1972 Reliant Regal Supervan III since the beginning of the series.

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The Amazing Energized Spider-Man of the late 1970s was stuck in a single pose, but he could climb his web, shine a light and power his Spidercopter. 

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"Rice shot from guns" referred to a process used to puff rice called "Gun puffing" --  a high pressure cooking method which causes the rice grains to quickly expand or "explode."

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In other words, You Stink!" 

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The Red Ryder BB gun, first produced in March 1940 and sold for $2.95, was named after a comic strip character syndicated in newspapers nationwide.

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Lead was added to paint to accelerate drying, increase durability, maintain a fresh appearance, and resist moisture, but it was very toxic for the Dutch Boy. The United States banned the manufacture of lead-based house paint in 1978, because it can cause nervous system damage, stunted growth, kidney damage, and delayed development.

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When the deep-tube Central London Railway opened in 1900, engineers thought the movement of the electric trains would allow sufficient air circulation, but soon after opening there were many complaints about odors, and by 1911 they had installed a system of fans injecting filtered air and ozone.

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A century ago, lard (pork fat) was used for cooking in every American home until Proctor & Gamble invented hydrogenated cottonseed oil (vegetable shortening) and named it Crisco. 

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Soberin Aids consisted of syrup of ipecac, an emetic which induces vomiting. They were eventually put out of business by the USPS and the New York Attorney General.

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Caterpillar Tractor was making record profits from WW2 contracts while telling others to make greater sacrifices. - "Sure you're doing war work. Sure you're paying taxes and buying bonds. Sure you're driving less, and drinking less coffee.  But are you honestly doing all you can?"

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George Washburn Lyon and Patrick Healy sold their first stringed instruments in 1883. They sold the guitar portion of their business in 1928 and the ownership changed several times after that through several business failures. Some of their 1960s vintage guitars are highly prized by musicians, but there is no direct connection to the original Washburn brand or designs.

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Show 'N Tell was a combination record player and filmstrip viewer manufactured by General Electric beginning in 1964. Each program was approximately 4 minutes in length and displayed 15 color slides.

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Velorex in Solnice, Czechoslovakia produced a small three-wheeled car from the 1950s until 1971. This early model had a body made of leather wrapped on a tubular steel frame.

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During World War I (1914-1917) much of the official propaganda fed to the American public by their government was overbearing and oppressive.
"Every Liberty Bond bought by you helps Uncle Sam uncover the reptile..."

That's because those who don't buy their share of Liberty Bonds, are identified as reptiles, as well as, "SPIES...TRAITORS...PROFITEERS...SLACKERS...SNAKES"

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Lion Ointment, first sold in 1847 by Edwin Burgess claimed to cure just about everything, "Old Wounds, Ulcers, Abscesses (including tuberculosis, Tumours, Polypuses, Piles, Fistulas, Shingles, Venereal Sores, Whitlows, Broken Breasts, Bad Legs, Boils, Scurvy …” and so on.

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“Perry Davis’ Painkiller” a mix of alcohol, opiates, and herbs, wouldn't cure Cholera, which is caused by a bacteria but at least you'd be buzzed. 

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Step One: Draw a cartoon of a cartoonist making money while surrounded by attractive women.
Step Two: Post an ad in comic books offering to share your secret to success.

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The first James Bond movies in the early 1960s triggered torrent of spy movies and toys. Secret Sam came in an attaché case that could take pictures and fire the gun covertly.  

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Don't be so negative...

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 That guy might be a little too "pipe-happy" so maybe he shouldn't be in the operating room.

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Or maybe just stay home. Instant Replay was invented in 1963, but if you were actually at the ballpark there weren't any huge TV screens showing replays until the late 1980s. 

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During the late 18th century and early 19th century, most bottles were returned and reused. The era of "no deposit, no return" began in the mid 1950s with Super Coola and ended in the mid-1960s, as the waste problem was growing exponentially.  

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If you want people to subscribe to "PACK-O-FUN"  maybe pick something that's actually fun for people under 50.

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"Just in time for Father's Day" but in the early 1980s, no father ever got an $800 gift, and especially not one capable of playing rented porno movies.

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Oh, how romantic, and a good hint for all the wives out there; always make sure there is plenty of beer.

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 Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!