Friday, May 7, 2021

Funny Vintage Ads (52)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Addis Wedding Set
 How to insure the honeymoon is over before you even carry her across the threshold.
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I wear dentures and smoke
Hey genius. Smoking is what cost you your teeth.
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Figure-Aid Slim-Mint

 Figure-Aid and Slim-Mints contained lots of caffeine and little else.
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Giant 10-foot Inflatable Boa Constrictor
"This is my emotional support animal."
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Thunderbird - Join the Revolution
Millions of winos can't be wrong.
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Mum - Dates Depend on Daintiness
"Don't be the girl men never date twice!"
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Hunt's Remedy
Grocer William E. Clarke of Providence, Rhode Island produced and marketed “Hunt’s Remedy” in 1850. Its main ingredient was dogbane (Apocynum cannabium), a traditional Native American treatment for dropsy (fluid retention).
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Quaker Oats - The Energy Food
 "All normal people love it."
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Perfection Oil Heaters
The Perfection Stove Company was started in 1888 by Henry Parsons Crowell.

By 1918, over 5 million Perfection Oil Heaters were in use in American homes. 
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Florida Orange Juice
"Whee...it's Vitamin C!"
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Sharp Calculator $345
It's hard to believe that at one time $345 seemed like a bargain for a simple electronic calculator that could only add, subtract, multiply and divide.
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Mary Scott Rowland - Adipo Malene
Mary Scott Rowland went into business in 1887, as a ‘complexion restorer’. She made a small fortune giving facial massages to the wives of wealthy Manhattanites.
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Twink is here!
"Twink is here!"
In 1956, "twink" didn't seem quite so gay. 
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South Africa ... Land of Contrasts
"South Africa ... Land of Contrasts"
That's right. There's a tiny minority of rich white Europeans who stole the land, in charge of millions of poor black folks who dress in colorful native costumes and sell trinkets by the roadside.
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Hormel Chicken in a Can
 "It's ready...it's good...it's in a new can!"
Well, two out of three ain't bad and the empty container can be used as an emergency barf bag.
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Corvair engine in the rear
The Corvair was a compact car manufactured by Chevrolet for model years 1960–1969. The rear engine placement in the Corvair caused a weight imbalance that resulted in poor handling and a book by consumer advocate Ralph Nader called "Unsafe at Any Speed."
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Thompson Products - build a car that drives itself
Industry has been promising us self-driving cars since the 1940s. Tesla has come the closest, but their cars are still crashing...when they're not catching fire.
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Palmolive - Husbands stay lovers
If you want your husband to ever touch you again, you'd better wash with Palmolive!
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New Home Vacuum Cleaner
 The "New Home Vacuum Cleaner" will clean your carpets, but only if you pump it constantly like a bellows.
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Kreml -- Don't be a poor fish
The bottom picture looks like he is still using axle grease
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Robot Television Bomber
In 1940, they thought an unmanned bomber would cost about $10,000. In 2021, each new Reaper drone costs $32 million.
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If Russia Should Win
A recurring theme in war propaganda uses the potential victimization of women by the enemy as a recruitment tool. It evokes a primal, outraged and disgusted reaction, and stifles dissent.
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Be proud of your bust
Targeting women's insecurities about their looks has been a staple of advertising since the dawn of the industrial age. 
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Cream of Wheat - Be Kind to Husbands
Li'l Abner thinks the best thing about being married to Daisy Mae is the Cream of Wheat?
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RCA Radiola Regenoflex
Gramps is not so sure about that.
The first radio receivers to carry the RCA brand name were the Radiola models. The Radiola Regenoflex was a four-tube radio made in the mid 1920’s. 
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Log Cabin Syrup

Log Cabin syrup was invented in Minnesota in 1887, by grocer Patrick James Towle. Towle patented the first log cabin shaped metal tin used used for his maple syrup in 1897. Today, Log Cabin brags that their products contain no high-fructose corn syrup, but they also don't contain any actual maple syrup.
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Wards Video World of Sports
The game console, Video World of Sports was released in 1977 by Montgomery-Ward and featured 3 Pong games: Tennis, Hockey & Handball.
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Junoform Elastic Bust Reducer
Smashing your breasts against your chest will make them seem smaller, but it can also damage the ligaments that support breast tissues. 
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Greyhound's Your Best Buy in Travel
"10 miles...or 10,000 miles..."
Imagine traveling 10,000 miles on a bus!
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The Darvis 3-wheel Divan Sedan
The Davis Divan is a three-wheeled convertible designed by the Davis Motorcar Company in 1947. Several prototypes were built, but due to financial irregularities Davis was convicted of fraud and grand theft, and sentenced to two years at a “work farm” labor camp.

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