Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (41)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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Snoopy Drive-in Theater
 The Kenner Snoopy Drive-in Movie Theater was introduced in 1975
    and used super 8 mm film loop cartridges that lasted about 45 seconds each.
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twenty first century bourbon whisky
This Twenty First Century Bourbon whisky bottle was sold as a novelty item called "frisky whiskey."  The bottle was actually empty, except for a small battery-powered motor that was supposed to spook your party guests with its radioactive wobbling.
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Spartan Quality Travel Trailer
The marketing wizard who came up with this campaign apparently didn't know the meaning of Spartan;  "indifference to comfort or luxury traditionally associated with ancient Sparta."
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Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow
 Released in 1977, Milky the plastic cow could drink water, and then produce “pretend milk” when one of her rubber udders was squeezed.
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Thorazine - Tyrant in the house?
"Thorazine, one of the fundamental drugs in medicine" sounds ridiculous for an anti psychotic 
developed in 1950, but it is still on the World Health Organization's List of Essential Medicines.
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Pistol Packing Pee Wee
 Who doesn't want to turn their baby into a "Pistol Packing Pee Wee?" Only 73 cents in the 1950s.
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Aunt Jemima -- I's in town, Honey
From 1890 to 1960, several African-American actresses played the role of Aunt Jemima to advertise a pancake mix. A composite image was used after 1960 and it wasn't till 2020 that the character and image were retired.
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Auto Seat -- Baby Stays Put
 "Baby stays put" while chair and baby are launched through the windshield

 when you slam on the brakes.
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Carrier War -- Air Conditioning makes it hot upstairs
During WW2, most companies advertised their contributions to the war effort.

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Only Miracle Whip Can Make Pears Taste So Good
Miracle is the right word if it could somehow make this taste good.

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3-in-One -- The High Quality All 'Round Oil
3-in-One Oil was invented in 1894 by George W. Cole for use on bicycles. He touted his invention's ability to “clean, lubricate and protect” because it contained a lubricant, a rust preventive and a cleaner.

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Taxidermist - Learn to mount birds and animals
And you bored and have no friends? Learn to be a taxidermist and you can while away the hours mounting and posing dead animals.
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Rid-Jid Ironing Board
Mrs Santa is thrilled that she can finally sit while spending endless hours ironing Santa's clothes.
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Palmolive -- I love my husband far too much
You may love your husband "far too much" but you also need to worry that he will dump you the moment you start looking old.
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Pyrex - A new material has come into the world
Pyrex was invented by Corning in 1915 as a line of clear, thermal-resistant glass for laboratory glassware and kitchenware.
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Westclox -- Big Ben The Cheery Call that never fails
There's nothing cheery about waking up at 3:42 AM.
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Big Loo - Giant Moon Robot
At three feet tall, Big Loo really was big and now they are a highly sought-after collectable. A mint-in-box Big Loo manufactured in 1963, was sold in 2017 for a record $6495.00 on eBay.
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AC Spark Plug Pin-up
Albert Champion was a bicycle racer from France who came to America in 1899. AC Spark Plugs were first manufactured in 1908 in Flint Michigan. Pin-ups were a fixture in most auto repair shops well into the 1980s.
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Model Smoking Tobacco
"Taking care with your model-making is like putting Model in your pipe..."
Except that you'd be better off smoking wood chips.

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Chopper Bicycle
Raleigh sold over 1.5 million "Choppers" consisting of a sissy bar, "banana" seat, high handlebars and a fake gear shifter on a bicycle.
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Record Ass
It's a mystery what they're selling, but this image is certainly an attention-grabber.
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Mororola Shirt Pocket Radio
The first "pocket" transistor radios were marketed using shirts with extra large pockets.
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Someone ought to tell her about Ry-Krisp

Fat shaming has a long and sordid history in advertising.
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Doughboy - Make Playtime a Gay Time
During World War I, the company that would later become "Doughboy" perfected rubber sealing and won the Army contract to seal K-rations. After the war they began making recreational products.
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Mr Brain - The Electronic Answer Man
You feed cards into "Mr Brain" with questions and answers. Mr Brain reads the cards and tells you which answers are wrong. So why not eliminate Mr Brain and put the right answers on the cards?
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Ford Levacar Mach I
The Ford Levacar Mach I, was a concept hovercar developed by the Ford Motor Company in the 1950s. It used air pressure to provide lift and propulsion. Although the LEVICAR program was eventually dropped for economic reasons, it was technically successful.
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My First Kiss - Practice Lips
"Don't be a shy!"
"Now you can will be pro!"

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Jet Rocket Space Ship
You can take it into space but don’t leave it out in the rain.
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Stag Party Originals
She doesn't belong at a stag party and the creepy guy needs a cold shower
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Shredded Wheat - A boon to brides
If this is the morning after your wedding, it'll probably be a short marriage.

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