Monday, June 22, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (39)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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Sputum Cup
One should always try to be discreet when disposing of Sputum.

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Palmolive -- Madge
Madge the manicurist ("You're soaking in it") insulted her customers' hands in print and on television for 27 years.

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Sears Motor Buggy
The Sears Motor Buggy debuted 1908, the same year as the Ford Model T. But while Ford revolutionized auto assembly and brought down his costs with the assembly line, Sears was building their buggys one at a time and selling them for less than they cost to build. Sears ended production in 1912.

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Pyrex - A wonderful gift
"...every Pyrex prepared meal a good looking, good tasting treat"
Good looking? Maybe, but it won't make your crappy meals taste better.
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Play a Saw
"No notes to read. No dreary practice."
The International Musical Saw Association (IMSA) produces an annual International Musical Saw Festival (including a "Saw-Off" competition) every August in Santa Cruz and Felton, California.

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Miller Tires
Our tires are made with pure rubber and cotton fabric collected by happy natives.
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Uterine Supporter
When surgery was not an option for uterine prolapse, this device was employed to hold the uterus in place.
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Reliance Universal Pajamas
"Styled for Sleep" or for discussing flight schedules with your "daddy."
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Radio Magnavox
Before there were loudspeakers, people could only listen to radio with headsets. In 1923, Magnavox developed a power amplifier and speaker that turned radio into an entertainment center for the whole family.
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Kelloggs All-Bran - One Date Girl

Are you a one-date girl? Have you considered upping your fibre intake? Regular loving requires a lover who is regular.
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Wheat and Rice Sparkies
"Vitamin rain" was a clever way to describe the
vitamin solution the cereal was sprinkled with as it traveled down the conveyor belt.
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Rocket Shoes
These "Rocket Shoes" will rocket you into a face plant!
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Mighty Tiny Record Player
In 1970, Ohio Art invented a toy phonograph and promoted it as the "World's Smallest Record Player." It also had the world's worst sound.

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Schlitz - That man - he's done it again
"That man -- he's done it again"
He needs a beer fridge

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Marvel Whirling Spray Syringe
The Marvel Whirling Spray Syringe (aka douche) was first produced in the 1890s. Not only would it rinse your vagina but it could also suck the rinse water out.

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Atomic Chief - John Henry Products
This "Atomic Chief" outfit was produced by John Henry Products in 1947.
The "Two-way Mike" was the equivalent of two tin cans tied together with a string.
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Survival -- How to protect yourself in event of attack
If you are this close to a nuclear attack, you won't need to worry about survival.

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The Magic Washer
"We have no use for them since we got this wonderful washer."
This racist 1886 advertisement for a laundry detergent called the Magic Washer references the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act.

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Lancer Fallout Shelter
"Including sanitary equipment" -- a bucket.

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Mr Merry's Play Lighter
In 2007, researchers at the University of Rochester found that those who consumed candy cigarettes as kids were roughly twice as likely as those who hadn’t to report that they later became smokers.

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Hellmann's Party Potato Salad
Hey everybody! Who wants some potato salad cake?

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Jeneen douche
"When you use a douche, you find its scent all around you...on your body...in the air." Douching was used as a contraceptive until birth control pills were legalized, and manufacturers had to find other ways to promote their products.

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Motorola - Pocketful of power
If you are calling that a pocket radio, customers are gonna need much bigger pockets.
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Robert Bruce - Cotton where it counts
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a fashion model."
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Sugar helps dieters
Throughout the 1950's and 1960’s, the trade group Sugar Information Inc. ran ads to convince people that sugar was actually healthy. In 1971, the Federal Trade Commission put a stop to the ads.
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Amplion - The world's standard loud speaker
Early radios only had headphones before speakers were invented. And before power amplifiers were invented, the next innovation was these large horns that amplified the sound acoustically.
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Radiation Need Not Be Feared
This poster was produced for nuclear workers at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in 1947.
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I'm Proud My Husband Wants Me to do My Part

During WW2, women were encouraged to enter the work force, and as soon as the war was over they were told to give up their jobs for returning servicemen. The woman in this poster looks like a wax figure and she is holding some invisible item in her hands.
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How to use the atomic bomb in your business
You could blow up your boss, but nuclear warfare is usually not good for business.
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Sun-Tan Pills
"Get a Real Tan -- Not a Fake Orange Tan"...like the orangutan-colored Donald Trump!

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