Thursday, May 28, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (38)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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TV was already doing an excellent job of hypnotizing viewers by the time this ad appeared.
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Ben-Hur Flour
What does Ben-Hur have to do with flour, you ask?
Nothing, really.

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The Thompson Submachine Gun
"1,500 shots per minute" so you can mow those horse thieves down without leaving your front porch.
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Flowbee
The Flowbee is an electrically powered vacuum cleaner attachment made for cutting hair. It was developed and patented in 1986 and is still being sold online.

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Hurley Machine Company -- Thor-32
The Thor washing machine of 1908, was the first electric clothes washer sold commercially in the United States. By 1922, the Thor-32 was “the last word in clothes-washing efficiency.”
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Faultless Balloons
The Faultless Rubber Company promoted its Faultless Sanitary Sealed Package for delivering "Clean Balloons, Untouched From the Factory to your Child."
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Pope-Waverley Electrics
Albert Augustus Pope began production of electric automobiles in 1897 and declared bankruptcy in 1907.
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Elevators shoes
 If all you are adding is a couple of inches, why bother? The model in this ad would be better off trying to save what's left of his hair.
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Electric Banana Stereo Phono
The Electric Banana Stereo Phono was inspired by an Andy Warhol painting of a banana for a 1967 album by Velvet Underground.
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Amphicar
 The Amphicar was an amphibious automobile built in Germany from 1961-65 and was a descendant of the Volkswagen Schwimmwagen military vehicle produced during World War 2.
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 This World War II poster in Little Rock, Arkansas shows there were separate treatment facilities for white and "colored" soldiers.
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Meal in a Mould
 This Meal in a Mould looks more like a Meal of a Mold.
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Robert the Robot
 America's first toy Robot came with a crank on his back that operated a crude record player so he could say, "I'm Robert Robot Mechanical Man."
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Cheasapeake Pudding
At the turn of the 20th Century, there was a battle between baking powders that contained alum like Calumet and Clabber Girl and more expensive brands that contained cream of tartar, like Royal. In advertisements, Royal touted the "purity" of its more expensive product, while claiming that other baking powders were "injurious" to one’s health. Of course if you're baking this awful combination, then maybe you're not that concerned about your health. 
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REO Speed Wagon Truck
 The REO Motor Car Company was founded in 1905 by Ransom E. Olds in Lansing, Michigan. Ransom E. Olds was an entrepreneur who founded multiple companies in the automobile industry, including Oldsmobile in 1897.
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Salem - How come I enjoy smoking and you don't
 Maybe you get a buzz from depriving your brain of oxygen?
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The Keleket "R-Gun"
 If you're pointing a radiation detector at a mushroom cloud, you might be in a bit of trouble.
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Eye-Catching Buttocks Instantly
"Yes! I too would like to look like a 'Hollywood Hunk' instantly! Please rush today, my Super Shaper Buns Briefs."
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beep - Motorola
"His pocket pager is about to tell him something."
Yeah, that he needs bigger pockets.

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Space Squadron -- Calling All Space Rangers
"Made of realistic space color plastic!"
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Rennie's Seeds
 William Rennie (1835-1910) was a Canadian farmer who became a successful seed merchant, educator, and writer. The use of black stereotypes was common in advertising at the time and Rennie was no exception.
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Breck Paper Dresses
In the mid 1960s, Breck shampoo offered two "mod-styled" paper dresses as a way to target the youth market. Paper clothing wasn’t actually made of just paper. It was a blend of approximately 90% cellulose mixed with a synthetic, like nylon, for durability and flame resistance.
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Dick Tracy Wrist Radio
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 The Dick Tracy Wrist Radio ("complete with aerial and ground wire") made its debut in the comic strip in 1947. 68 years later, the Apple Watch made it a reality.
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BSA Motorcycles
His look says, "If she is driving, I'm not getting on that bike!"
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Oxblood tablets for thin people 
 "The greatest flesh producer of the age"
Well, except for donuts...

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Osborne Personal Computer
The Osborne was the first commercially successful portable microcomputer, but going to work with an Osborne Personal Computer was like carrying a 25lb "portable" sewing machine back and forth.
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Old Gold -- Why be irritated
 From 1945 to 1946, Old Gold ran a humorous ad campaign featuring the slogan, "Why be Irritated? Light an Old Gold!"
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Babee-Tenda Safety Chair
The Babee-Tenda Corp began in 1937. They were convicted of Mail Fraud in 2008 for, "falsely and fraudulently mailed sales material indicating the Consumer Product Safety Commission (“CPSC”) ...  sponsored seminars at which Defendant’s products were sold."
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Eastern Air Lines -- Presenting the Losers
 In the early days of flying, women were bought on board as "air nurses" to convince businessmen that the planes were safe. By the 1960s, they were being marketed as sex objects.
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Beehive Breastplates
 Made with super scratchy polyester yarn!

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