Funny Vintage Ads (36)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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 In 1981, electronic mail was still an exciting innovation, but the first email spam had already been sent three years earlier.
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The big selling point for Crosley Shelvador? Shelves in the door. Get it? "shel-va-dor"
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The Daddy Saddle. Now you can humiliate your Dad -- Texas Style! Yee Haw!
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 "Real Hair! Actually trimmed from Davy, Peter, Micky & Mike" but it doesn't say from their heads.
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"You'll start a whole new holiday tradition..." of setting your food on fire!
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Columbia Records originated in the District of Columbia as the Columbia Phonograph Company and distributed Edison phonographs and recorded cylinders throughout the Washington, D.C. area. In 1894, the company ended its ties with Edison and began selling its own recordings.
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Sure, if you don't count the butt sex.
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Wait till you get home before the two bongs.
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The “Multiple Electric Vibrator” uses 480 little nubs to rub your scalp, stimulating blood flow and supposedly ridding you of dandruff and loose hair.
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 "Never before a woman like this" In the 1950s, Pepsi claimed its soft drink would make women slimmer, healthier and more attractive.
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 And you thought Spam was the only pork in a can!
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 Shell brags about increasing crop yields with "nitrogation" which Shell defines as taking "hydrogen from petroleum gas" and combining it with "nitrogen from the air" to make a "potent food for hungry roots." In fact, the process fertilizes the soil by the addition of anhydrous ammonia from pressure tanks into the irrigation water.
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Contrary to popular belief, Sir Thomas Crapper did not invent the flush toilet, but he was one of many who worked to improve it. In 1876, William Smith earned a patent for a jet siphon toilet.
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This Spot Reducer ad claims the device is not only a dieting aid, but is excellent for muscle aches and "restless nights."
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 So mobile you can pick it up and carry it around!
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In the 1950s, Ritalin was used as a stimulant in psychiatric asylums. It was widely prescribed to chronically depressed, schizophrenic and psychotic patients, the “mentally retarded” and patients recovering from lobotomies.
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"And it needn't be just for the youngster in the gay pajamas..."
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 Coopers Jockey Shorts protects men from the "relentless clutches of their underwear."
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The first foils for cooking were made out of tin in the late 19th century. Aluminum foil was first manufactured in Switzerland in 1910.
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 Wearing a copper bracelet as a remedy for arthritis has been popular for thousands of years, but there is still no scientific evidence to prove that it works.
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"Wow Jug, now everyone and their brother will want our delicious wieners in their mouth!"
Jughead doesn't care, but Veronica looks ready to dig in!
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Procter & Gamble introduced Camay in the United States in 1926 as “the soap of beautiful women.” Camay promised feminine luxury, even sensuality, at a time when other soaps like Ivory were utilitarian.
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 Before there were cans, all soda and beer came in bottles that required a deposit so that the empties could be returned, cleaned and reused. The first cans were made of steel and were disposable.
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Blow yourself, Gramps!
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What does a soldier dream of when he is huddled in a foxhole at night? The girl he left back home? Nope! He dreams of curing meat.
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 The Evans Vacuum Cap ("A Scientific Method of Growing Hair") was advertised widely just before the Food & Drug Act of 1906, but not so much afterwards.
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Muzak was the invention of Major General George O. Squier, the U.S. Army’s Chief Signal Officer during World War I. Radio was still a fledgling art in the 1920s, difficult and expensive to manage, so Squier created a way of transmitting signals across electrical wires, no radio necessary.
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The inventor of Coca-Cola was Dr. John Stith Pemberton, who was addicted to morphine after an injury in the Civil War. He first created a wine and cocaine combination and was enjoying modest success until alcohol was outlawed in his county. Pemberton then replaced the alcohol with sugar syrup and Coca-Cola was born. At the time of Coca-Cola’s invention, cocaine was legal and a common ingredient in medicines.
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Pilots who flew throughout the US after WW1 selling airplane rides and performing stunts were called Barnstormers.
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 "Everything about the Travelknit fourpiece says; "Style"" -- or maybe just "cheap."

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Buy a No Soliciting Sign
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