Funny Vintage Ads (90)

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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In the 1950s, Van Heusen was telling men how to handle their women, "You'll never know what results you'll get until you try..."

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"What Milady will wear in the car during the fall and winter season."

This outfit that looks like a burka was necessary, because early autos had open carriages and no heat.

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This 1940s Luden's ad used a clever slogan to describe a stuffed nose. 

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"Skimpy Wiring" does appear to be quite a shady character, but not as shady as a copper company using scare tactics to sell copper wire.

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Make-believe police detectives were virtually untouchable back in 1947 when armed with this Dick Tracy Rapid Fire Tommy Gun. 

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During the 1930s, Fleischmann’s Yeast for Health campaign turned unappetizing blocks of fresh yeast into one of the first health-food fads by using brazen, relentless advertising marked by unverifiable claims and “scientific” language. 

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 Eugene Feuchtinger (1862-1930) was a scientist and an expert on the human voice. He also had a knack for marketing. The "FREE BOOK" at the beginning of the second paragraph changes to "booklet" in later mentions. 

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"...Bugs just go away and die"
That's nice of them to be so considerate.

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"Their eyes will open wide..."

 The disco era had many wild styles, like this dog ear collar shirt that sold for $17.95, the equivalent of about $145 today. 

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In the 1910s, the bus trip from San Diego to "Tia Juana" took about 2 hours over bumpy and dusty roads. That left you with about an hour of sightseeing at the Mexican bars and curio shops before the 2-hour return trip.

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Pvt Treptow was a soldier in WW1 who wrote in his diary before he died heroically,
"I will sacrifice, I will endure,  I will fight cheerfully and do my utmost,
 as if the whole issue of the struggle depended on me alone."
By the time the US government was floating the Fourth Liberty Loan, the demands were getting increasingly desperate. i.e. "You who are not called upon to die..." should loan us more money to fight the war. 

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The Adventures of Superman was the first live-action television show starring Superman and ran in syndication from 1952 until 1958.  

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"...you too can become lovelier, more poised, more self-confident, while preparing yourself for an exciting and glamorous career" as a pretty girl who assists and serves men.

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This 1929 Cream of Wheat ad, “A Case of Desertion” uses the racist “watermelon” stereotype

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Robert Edwin Dietz first began selling whale oil lamps in 1840. Dietz Tubular Driving Lamps were popular as headlights in early automobiles of the 1910s.  The company did well for 100 years before it was sold to Hong Kong in the 1950s.

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“Practically Carefree!” - if you don't care about mold.

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Chest Wig - a giant patchy mat of chest pubes "for that macho look" 

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In 1899, Francis Barraud, painted a picture of his brother’s dog, “Nipper”, listening intently to a windup Edison-Bell cylinder phonograph. The trademark was registered by Berliner Gramophone for use in the United States on July 10, 1900. In 1929, “His Master’s Voice” trademark was acquired by the Radio Corporation of America.

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"The 14-day Palmolive Plan"
(Wash and then massage your face 3 times a day) 
The original Palmolive soap formula was made entirely of palm and olive oils, but because of environmental concerns, Palmolive soap no longer contains palm oil. 

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Creosote, produced from the burning of wood and coal, is an antiseptic that has been used for thousands of years.

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 Weekly Reader was a weekly educational classroom magazine designed for children that began in 1928. Millennials (1981-96) were the first generation of toddlers who were introduced to computers via animated characters like Stickeybear. It was not all fun and games, because corporations like Xerox (who bought Weekly Reader in 1965) were exploring the potential of shaping young minds, one pixel at a time.

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"His skis get loving care but his hair gets only neglect."
Vaseline Hair Tonic in the 1950s and 60s was so greasy it was like giving your head a lube job.

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Woodward's Solar Camera (1860) was the first widely successful photographic enlarging device. 

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X-Ray Soap was produced in the 1920s and sold primarily to auto manufacturers like Ford. 

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Baker Motor Vehicle Company manufactured electric automobiles in Cleveland, Ohio, from 1899 to 1914. Thomas Edison designed the nickel-iron batteries used in Baker electrics and owned one of the first. 

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"Maybe your kids have never come right out and said they're ashamed that you never finished high school. But it's the kind of thing a mother can sense."  

Maybe you shouldn't have told them in the first place.

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Cascarets were made from the bark of the Cascara Sagrada tree, native to British Columbia and long used by Native Americans as a laxative. By 1899, when this ad appeared, Cascarets were selling 5 million boxes per year.

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 During WW2, many American corporations who were making a fortune on war production, were at the same time guilting people into buying more war bonds with heavy-handed ads like this one.

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The 966 pound Bendix G-15 "personal" computer was introduced in 1956. The machine found a niche in civil engineering and over 400 were made.

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"Just like Daddy"
This display is from the 1960s, but It's hard to imagine a time when that sounded innocent.

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 Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!