Funny Vintage Ads (40)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Ah, the memories you'll make while using a large pair of sharp scissors only an inch or two away from your child's eyes and yelling, "HOLD STILL!"
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RCA's Vanishing Microphone didn't actually vanish. It was just smaller and thinner than the microphones that came before.

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This recording of "actual sounds of air force missile launchings and count downs" was produced in 1965 by Louis Marx & Co and was intended to accompany play with their Cape Canaveral Playset.
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Tobacco so "Cool and Fragrant" you'll nod off while your grandson carves notches in your peg leg.

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"Gentle Enough - Even for Girl Workers"
Lava soap was developed by the William Waltke Company of St. Louis in 1893.

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In the summer of 1935, Standard Products of Clinton MA began selling a tool belt for Boy Scouts that included an ax, a hunting knife, a compass and a book of matches.
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"Why not reduce your weight and be comfortable?"
The advertising for weight loss products has never been subtle.
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The Kenner Close 'n Play was invented in 1966. It ran on batteries and played 45 RPM records using a steel needle that actually dug grooves into any record kids were foolish enough to play on it.
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The Ryan FR Fireball was a piston and jet-powered fighter aircraft designed during WW2 for carrier operations, but proved too flimsy for carrier take-offs and was discontinued in 1947.
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Showing the "Board of Education" being used on a young smoker, doesn't seem like the best way to advertise tobacco.
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TWA began in 1930 with the merger of two small airlines. Howard Hughes bought controlling interest in 1939 and greatly expanded the company while developing its  reputation as the glamor airline. Carl Icahn, the infamous corporate raider took over TWA in 1985 and systematically stripped it of assets until the company went bankrupt in 1995.
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Looks like the 'soaring skylight ceiling' in this 1960s Spacemaster mobile home only soared about six inches.
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Ignore the phallic symbolism and sing the 1960s commercial jingle -
“Sixfinger, Sixfinger, Man Alive! How Did I Ever Get along with Five?”
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A U.S. military WWI poster promoting abstinence.
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In 1875, a small distiller in Suitland, Maryland managed to get his whiskey certified "For Medicinal Purposes" by the Board of Health in Washington, DC.
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The Tucker 48 had many innovative design features, but only 50 were produced before the company went bankrupt -- with a little help from Detroit's "Big Three" automakers.
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If your stereo equipment takes up more space than your bed, maybe you need to get out more.
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The Scootacar was produced in Britain from 1957 to 1964. It could carry two people but if you want to drive the Scootacar alone, you'd have to straddle the engine in order to keep the car balanced on its single rear wheel.
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This 1960s ad says to make an ice cream float put the ice cream in first and then the Seven-Up. That's backwards and will cause the soda to foam up and overflow the glass.

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The 19th Amendment granting women the right to vote became part of the U.S. Constitution on August 26, 1920, some 50 years after black men gained the right to vote. Part of the opposition to woman's suffrage was from racists who feared that giving black women the right to vote would threaten Jim Crow laws in the South that kept blacks subjugated.

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The first in-car speaker for drive-ins was produced in 1940. The first broken car window from not returning the speaker to the holder happened shortly after.
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BACK OFF MOMMA
This 1940s poster from Newark, N.J., Dept of Health was produced before antibiotics were widely used in the US.

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"United States Tires Are Good Tires"
We admit they are only good and not great.
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There is a huge difference between an "Astronaut Space Suit" and a "high-altitude flying suit"  with "8 zippers" and "two inside pockets" but why be picky.
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Take a Pullman car and our black porter will be happy to shine your boots.
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In the 1940s Englander Mattress boosted sales by convincing women that their husband would be much nicer to them if they could only get a good night's sleep.
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"This Christmas - Don't miss the fun of Smoking" plus cancer, heart disease and emphysema.
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In 1896, Thomas Edison started the National Phonograph Company to manufacture phonographs and wax cylinders (records) for home entertainment.

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"Children Like Sanitol" That's a scary-looking kid.
In the 1910s, Sanitol made St Louis the greatest tooth powder manufacturing center in the world.
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This electric belt generated current from zinc discs coming in contact with the wearer's sweat. The current went to the loop which was placed around the genitals to restore sexual function. Tens of thousands of electric belts were sold in the United States between the 1890s and the 1920s.

 

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Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!