Funny Vintage Ads (34)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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 "A referee's eye view of every play -- by Television!"
As long as you sit 6 - 12 inches from the screen.
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"Wise women everywhere prefer Mum for Sanitary Napkin use."
Thanks for sharing!
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Given what we know now about the dangers of nuclear power, it's hard to imagine there was ever a time (1960s) when any business could buy their own neutron reactor -- and for only $120,000!
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 How stupid does one have to be to work in the nuclear industry and also believe that this plastic suit would protect them in an area contaminated by radioactivity?
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 Santa prefers Luckies!
Once upon a time, cigarettes were a Christmas present favorite – the gift that kept on giving (cancer).
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The picturephone was introduced in April 1964 at the New York World's Fair, only to be withdrawn as a commercial failure a few years later. Several attempts were made by Bell and AT&T over the years since, but the dream was only fully realized with smartphones.
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Before the internet there was home video and before that, those who wanted to enjoy "Thrilling Adult Party Movies" had to buy films and a cheap projector from ads in the back of "Men's" magazines.
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 The August 1953 issue of Woman’s Day contained instructions for making your own Space Patrol Helmet with household items.
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Because sex before marriage is immoral and immorality begets Nazi babies.
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"It's a simple matter -- your just push a button on the instrument panel in your car, and the door opens!"
The first electric garage door opener was invented by Mr. C. G. Johnson of Hartford City, Indiana in 1926. Remote radio controls were added in the 1940s.
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"Honey" seems a little too happy about the whole thing.
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United Fruit Company wants you to know that Ham Banana Rolls are "Fun to Make" and "Easy to Digest" but they don't say it "Tastes Good" because it doesn't.
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Well, that explains why "Reefer" is so popular!
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During the 1920s -- 1960s, “feminine hygiene” was a euphemism for birth control because it was illegal in the U.S. until 1965. The most popular brand of contraceptive douche, Lysol, contained cresol and could cause severe inflammation, burning, and even death.
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The bird diaper was patented in 1959 by Bertha Dlugi of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
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The Pullman porter is annoyed because he won't be making any tips brushing your dandruff flakes off of your suit jacket. But if you're using Listerine on your head to control dandruff, you might want to do something about the smell as well.
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These girls are lovely and exotic, and yet they are also lonely and eager to meet me. Sounds legit!    
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Boss Nigger was released during the blaxploitation era (early 1970s).  Two black bounty hunters ride into a small town out West and take over, much to the chagrin of the white populace.
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In 1959, the Kraft food company held a contest to win a number of space-related items, and the grand prize was an actual space ship simulator, complete with space suits and helmets, that was built by the Aerojet-General Corporation.
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 "Disaster May Never Occur Here"
...but if it does, you'll be running from a cruise missile that is headed for straight for your butt.
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The object of Town Dump is to clear waste out of your dump and onto your rival’s property, which teaches a valuable lesson -- Let your discarded trash become someone else’s problem.
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In the 1950s, depictions of babies in cigarette ads reinforced the respectability of smoking as a part of normal family life.
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 Dr Walter's solution to excess fat was to sweat it off by wearing a rubber garment. Sweaty boobs under a rubber bra, what's not to like?
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 MOR was Wilson & Co's version of Spam (canned pork). Wilson claimed that their pork was the invention of an "immortal chef" who -- "through long and loving labor" -- came up with an "epicurean" flavor.
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 In the 1910s, the International Mutoscope Reel Company, makers of arcade machines and dime museums sold this a cockroach racing kit (complete with "Special Racing Roaches") as a business opportunity.
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In 1898, William Moore, Adolphus Green and John G. Zeller merged their bakeries to form the National Biscuit Company, with Adolphus Green as president. The first use of "Nabisco" was in a cracker in 1901. The firm later introduced — either through development or acquisition — Fig Newtons, Nabisco Wafers, Barnum's Animal Crackers (1902), Lorna Doones (1912), and Oreos (1912).
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What does it mean to "throw like a girl" in this WW2-era poster? It's meant as a put-down, but it reveals how stereotypes become self-fulfilling prophecies. Men have always been taught to use their entire bodies for a physical task, but (until very recently) women were been conditioned to limit their physicality.
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Tripe (cow stomach) and cowheels (heel of a cow) may be easy on the digestion, but they are definitely not for the squeamish. 
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From 1946 through 1993, thirteen countries used ocean dumping as a way to dispose of nuclear/radioactive waste that remains hazardous for hundreds of thousands of year. They put the waste into 55-gallon drums and dumped those drums into the ocean.
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The perfect Christmas gift!

 

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Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!