Monday, June 22, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (39)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
Sputum Cup
One should always try to be discreet when disposing of Sputum.

Palmolive -- Madge
Madge the manicurist ("You're soaking in it") insulted her customers' hands in print and on television for 27 years.

Sears Motor Buggy
The Sears Motor Buggy debuted 1908, the same year as the Ford Model T. But while Ford revolutionized auto assembly and brought down his costs with the assembly line, Sears was building their buggys one at a time and selling them for less than they cost to build. Sears ended production in 1912.

Pyrex - A wonderful gift
"...every Pyrex prepared meal a good looking, good tasting treat"
Good looking? Maybe, but it won't make your crappy meals taste better.
Play a Saw
"No notes to read. No dreary practice."
The International Musical Saw Association (IMSA) produces an annual International Musical Saw Festival (including a "Saw-Off" competition) every August in Santa Cruz and Felton, California.

Miller Tires
Our tires are made with pure rubber and cotton fabric collected by happy natives.
Uterine Supporter
When surgery was not an option for uterine prolapse, this device was employed to hold the uterus in place.
Reliance Universal Pajamas
"Styled for Sleep" or for discussing flight schedules with your "daddy."
Radio Magnavox
Before there were loudspeakers, people could only listen to radio with headsets. In 1923, Magnavox developed a power amplifier and speaker that turned radio into an entertainment center for the whole family.
Kelloggs All-Bran - One Date Girl

Are you a one-date girl? Have you considered upping your fibre intake? Regular loving requires a lover who is regular.
Wheat and Rice Sparkies
"Vitamin rain" was a clever way to describe the
vitamin solution the cereal was sprinkled with as it traveled down the conveyor belt.
Rocket Shoes
These "Rocket Shoes" will rocket you into a face plant!
Mighty Tiny Record Player
In 1970, Ohio Art invented a toy phonograph and promoted it as the "World's Smallest Record Player." It also had the world's worst sound.

Schlitz - That man - he's done it again
"That man -- he's done it again"
He needs a beer fridge

Marvel Whirling Spray Syringe
The Marvel Whirling Spray Syringe (aka douche) was first produced in the 1890s. Not only would it rinse your vagina but it could also suck the rinse water out.

Atomic Chief - John Henry Products
This "Atomic Chief" outfit was produced by John Henry Products in 1947.
The "Two-way Mike" was the equivalent of two tin cans tied together with a string.
Survival -- How to protect yourself in event of attack
If you are this close to a nuclear attack, you won't need to worry about survival.

The Magic Washer
"We have no use for them since we got this wonderful washer."
This racist 1886 advertisement for a laundry detergent called the Magic Washer references the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act.

Lancer Fallout Shelter
"Including sanitary equipment" -- a bucket.

Mr Merry's Play Lighter
In 2007, researchers at the University of Rochester found that those who consumed candy cigarettes as kids were roughly twice as likely as those who hadn’t to report that they later became smokers.

Hellmann's Party Potato Salad
Hey everybody! Who wants some potato salad cake?

Jeneen douche
"When you use a douche, you find its scent all around you...on your the air." Douching was used as a contraceptive until birth control pills were legalized, and manufacturers had to find other ways to promote their products.

Motorola - Pocketful of power
If you are calling that a pocket radio, customers are gonna need much bigger pockets.
Robert Bruce - Cotton where it counts
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a fashion model."
Sugar helps dieters
Throughout the 1950's and 1960’s, the trade group Sugar Information Inc. ran ads to convince people that sugar was actually healthy. In 1971, the Federal Trade Commission put a stop to the ads.
Amplion - The world's standard loud speaker
Early radios only had headphones before speakers were invented. And before power amplifiers were invented, the next innovation was these large horns that amplified the sound acoustically.
Radiation Need Not Be Feared
This poster was produced for nuclear workers at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in 1947.
I'm Proud My Husband Wants Me to do My Part

During WW2, women were encouraged to enter the work force, and as soon as the war was over they were told to give up their jobs for returning servicemen. The woman in this poster looks like a wax figure and she is holding some invisible item in her hands.
How to use the atomic bomb in your business
You could blow up your boss, but nuclear warfare is usually not good for business.
Sun-Tan Pills
"Get a Real Tan -- Not a Fake Orange Tan" the orangutan-colored Donald Trump!

Friday, June 5, 2020

End Police Brutality

On May 25, 2020 George Floyd, a 46-year-old black man, died in Minneapolis, Minnesota after Derek Chauvin, a white police officer, knelt on Floyd's neck for almost nine minutes while Floyd was handcuffed face down in the street. The murder of George Floyd triggered massive protests in the US and around the world.

Murder of George Floyd

The police response to the unrest has been very aggressive. There have been so many examples of wanton police violence against mostly peaceful protesters and the media covering them in so many different cities that it's clear the problem is a lot bigger than rogue cops killing unarmed black men without consequence -- as if that weren't bad enough. The shocking brutality meted out by cops when charging at innocent protestors of all ages is being captured on video.

Respect the Police...or Else?

Too many Americans are authoritarians who love it when cops bust a few heads in response to a protest. Even during normal times, if you are questioned by police and "mouth off" to a police officer, you can expect them to "teach you a lesson" about "respect for authority" and authoritarian Americans will happily cheer them on. That needs to end.

Here's a clue for all the authoritarians who think disrespecting the police should be a capital offense. A cop can question you, but you don't have to answer any questions, you don't have to be polite, and you don't have to stay and listen to them, unless you are being "detained." So if you want to leave, you should ask, "Am I being detained?" A detention is defined as a  “brief and cursory” holding and questioning of someone by a law enforcement officer. If you refuse to answer questions they should move on quickly. If they take that as a challenge that results in your arrest, they won't be able to prove "probable cause" unless you do something stupid.

If a cop gets in your face, he's invading your space, so if you decide to stand up and leave, you're not invading the cop's space and it doesn't justify any restraint. And finally, if a cop grabs you for no reason and your hand happens to brush their arm, that's not an assault on a police officer. If officers decide to manhandle you or beat you, anything you do to resist will be used by them to justify the beating.

The above is all good until you are arrested. Once arrested, do not resist and do not answer questions, other than requests for your name, address, and birth date. Do not volunteer any information. Do not agree to them going through your phone. Anything you say, no matter how innocuous it might seem at the time, WILL be used by cops to prove that your arrest was justified. Once released, contact your lawyer or Legal Aid.

The toxic cop culture in the US has to change.

Here are some suggestions from #8cantwait and a couple of additional ideas:

1. Requiring officers to de-escalate before using force;

2. Using guidelines defining the types of force that can be used to respond to specific situations;

3. Restricting or banning choke holds and strangleholds;

4. Requiring a verbal warning before using any force;

5. Prohibiting officers from shooting at moving vehicles except in extreme circumstances;

6. Requiring officers to exhaust other options before resorting to deadly force;

7. Establishing a duty by officers to intervene if one of their colleagues is using excessive force;

8. Requiring officers to report all uses of force or attempted use of force.

9. Law enforcement violence should be addressed as a public health issue.

10. Prosecutors should charge more cops with crimes and juries who are always reluctant to convict cops who abuse their power, have to put aside their automatic deference for members of law enforcement and put a lot more in prison.

11. Police unions are currently an obstacle to meaningful reforms. They will dig in their heels and make all kinds of threats to punish politicians who try to enact reforms. We can't control the unions but we can control the politicians if we keep up the pressure on them.

There will have to be a lot more protests and demonstrations before any meaningful changes are made, and remember;

Non-violent Protest is Best

John Lennon and Yoko Ono March for Peace
“When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you – pull your beard, flick your face – to make you fight. Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.”
-- John Lennon

"Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (38)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
TV was already doing an excellent job of hypnotizing viewers by the time this ad appeared.
Ben-Hur Flour
What does Ben-Hur have to do with flour, you ask?
Nothing, really.

The Thompson Submachine Gun
"1,500 shots per minute" so you can mow those horse thieves down without leaving your front porch.
The Flowbee is an electrically powered vacuum cleaner attachment made for cutting hair. It was developed and patented in 1986 and is still being sold online.

Hurley Machine Company -- Thor-32
The Thor washing machine of 1908, was the first electric clothes washer sold commercially in the United States. By 1922, the Thor-32 was “the last word in clothes-washing efficiency.”
Faultless Balloons
The Faultless Rubber Company promoted its Faultless Sanitary Sealed Package for delivering "Clean Balloons, Untouched From the Factory to your Child."
Pope-Waverley Electrics
Albert Augustus Pope began production of electric automobiles in 1897 and declared bankruptcy in 1907.
Elevators shoes
 If all you are adding is a couple of inches, why bother? The model in this ad would be better off trying to save what's left of his hair.
Electric Banana Stereo Phono
The Electric Banana Stereo Phono was inspired by an Andy Warhol painting of a banana for a 1967 album by Velvet Underground.
 The Amphicar was an amphibious automobile built in Germany from 1961-65 and was a descendant of the Volkswagen Schwimmwagen military vehicle produced during World War 2.
 This World War II poster in Little Rock, Arkansas shows there were separate treatment facilities for white and "colored" soldiers.
Meal in a Mould
 This Meal in a Mould looks more like a Meal of a Mold.
Robert the Robot
 America's first toy Robot came with a crank on his back that operated a crude record player so he could say, "I'm Robert Robot Mechanical Man."
Cheasapeake Pudding
At the turn of the 20th Century, there was a battle between baking powders that contained alum like Calumet and Clabber Girl and more expensive brands that contained cream of tartar, like Royal. In advertisements, Royal touted the "purity" of its more expensive product, while claiming that other baking powders were "injurious" to one’s health. Of course if you're baking this awful combination, then maybe you're not that concerned about your health. 
REO Speed Wagon Truck
 The REO Motor Car Company was founded in 1905 by Ransom E. Olds in Lansing, Michigan. Ransom E. Olds was an entrepreneur who founded multiple companies in the automobile industry, including Oldsmobile in 1897.
Salem - How come I enjoy smoking and you don't
 Maybe you get a buzz from depriving your brain of oxygen?
The Keleket "R-Gun"
 If you're pointing a radiation detector at a mushroom cloud, you might be in a bit of trouble.
Eye-Catching Buttocks Instantly
"Yes! I too would like to look like a 'Hollywood Hunk' instantly! Please rush today, my Super Shaper Buns Briefs."
beep - Motorola
"His pocket pager is about to tell him something."
Yeah, that he needs bigger pockets.

Space Squadron -- Calling All Space Rangers
"Made of realistic space color plastic!"
Rennie's Seeds
 William Rennie (1835-1910) was a Canadian farmer who became a successful seed merchant, educator, and writer. The use of black stereotypes was common in advertising at the time and Rennie was no exception.
Breck Paper Dresses
In the mid 1960s, Breck shampoo offered two "mod-styled" paper dresses as a way to target the youth market. Paper clothing wasn’t actually made of just paper. It was a blend of approximately 90% cellulose mixed with a synthetic, like nylon, for durability and flame resistance.
Dick Tracy Wrist Radio
 The Dick Tracy Wrist Radio ("complete with aerial and ground wire") made its debut in the comic strip in 1947. 68 years later, the Apple Watch made it a reality.
BSA Motorcycles
His look says, "If she is driving, I'm not getting on that bike!"
Oxblood tablets for thin people 
 "The greatest flesh producer of the age"
Well, except for donuts...

Osborne Personal Computer
The Osborne was the first commercially successful portable microcomputer, but going to work with an Osborne Personal Computer was like carrying a 25lb "portable" sewing machine back and forth.
Old Gold -- Why be irritated
 From 1945 to 1946, Old Gold ran a humorous ad campaign featuring the slogan, "Why be Irritated? Light an Old Gold!"
Babee-Tenda Safety Chair
The Babee-Tenda Corp began in 1937. They were convicted of Mail Fraud in 2008 for, "falsely and fraudulently mailed sales material indicating the Consumer Product Safety Commission (“CPSC”) ...  sponsored seminars at which Defendant’s products were sold."
Eastern Air Lines -- Presenting the Losers
 In the early days of flying, women were bought on board as "air nurses" to convince businessmen that the planes were safe. By the 1960s, they were being marketed as sex objects.
Beehive Breastplates
 Made with super scratchy polyester yarn!