Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (35)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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Lane Bryant - If you're stout
"If you are stout" then you won't look like our model in this dress.
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Hercules Horse Action Saddle
The Hercules Horse Action Saddle was a Victorian
version of the exercise bike, and both men and women were
encouraged to use it. It purported to alleviate 'hysteria' and
insomnia, cure gout and rheumatism, and reduce obesity.

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Riker Locomobile
Andrew L. Riker, was an early pioneer of electric vehicles who also designed the Locomobile Company's first worm-driven gasoline-powered truck.
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Ron Merito Rum - Suave! Delicioso!
This 1946 ad for Ron Merito’s Mountain Distilled Puerto Rico Rum promises "mountain flavor" from its "mountain distilled" rum, but the setting doesn't look anything like Puerto Rico and the mascot on a burro with an accordion doesn't look anything like a Puerto Rican.
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Pabst - Double Hopped
Scientists confirmed in 2012 that cannabis and hops are genetically related, belonging to Cannabinaceae family.  Both cannabis and hops flowers have a long history of use as herbal medicines with sedative properties.
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Lionel Electric Trains -- Free to Men and Boys
 "Free to Men and Boys" but not women and girls?
During World War II, government-mandated restrictions on the use of various metals halted production of metal toys, so Lionel focused on promoting post-war sales.

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IBM - 150 Extra Engineers
The IBM 604 Electronic Calculating Punch, introduced in 1948, was designed primarily for punched card processing and related calculations. It was described as a "miniature electronic calculator."
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Your man will love a barbecue bib
 "Made from heavy awing cloth in bright,gaudy, horrible stripes."
What the well-dressed sleezeball wears to lunch.

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New York Public Baths
During the mid-to-late 19th century, New York City's rapidly expanding population had reached 1.4 million, leaving many residents without access to adequate sanitation facilities. There were many commercial bathhouses, but the immigrant poor couldn't afford to use them and it wasn’t until 1901 that the first year-round public bathhouse opened.
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Lafayette Radio - Family radiation survival set
If all you have is this radiation survival kit, you'll be envying those who were vaporized at ground zero. Lafayette Radio Electronics Corporation began as "Wholesale Radio Service Company" around 1922, issuing its first catalog in 1924.
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Scott's Emulsion

In the late 1800s, cod liver oil was thought to have great health benefits, but the taste and smell were awful. In 1873, Alfred B. Scott and Samuel W. Bowne invented the first emulsified version of cod liver oil. Scott and Bowne’s first trademark, registered in 1879, included the initials P.P.P. and three words—“Perfect, Permanent, Palatable.
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Kahn Tailoring Inc - Civilian and Military Tailors
Rich officers (including George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt and George Patton) often wore custom-tailored uniforms into battle.
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Colored Chicks
 The word "colored" was first used to describe black people in the US in 1807, and didn't end until the mid 1960s.
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Armstrong Hair Pomade
In 1969, Neil Armstrong landed on the Sea of Tranquility on the moon, and hair pomade was never quite the same after. And now we know the secret to Neil Armstrong's slick hairdo.
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Rainier Beer -- Beneficial to Young and Old
Chug-a-lug Grandpa!
You too, little missy.

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Cranes Little Bon-Bon Pills -- A cure for Torpid Liver
Claiming to cure a ‘torpid liver’ and beautify the complexion, Crane’s Little Bon-Bon Pills were most likely a laxative or mild diuretic.
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Gold Dust Twins - A word to the wife is sufficient
The Gold Dust Twins, nicknamed “Goldie” and “Dusty,” first appeared in graphics for Fairbank’s cleaning products in 1892.
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Lazy Man's Power Mower
This 1957 Power Mower of the Future was equipped with a plastic dome, air foam cushion seat, electric generator, running lights, radio, air conditioning and telephone.
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Treat Inflamed Eyes with Radio Waves
"A large electrode is buried beneath the patient’s pillow, while smaller electrodes, swathed in soft padding, are applied directly to his eyes..."
The medical profession has been using radio waves to aid diagnosis and treatment for over 125 years.

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Colgate - Aw, give a guy a chance
This sailor looks to be about 16 years old!
Colgate was the first toothpaste in a collapsible tube, introduced in 1896 in New York, when it had previously been sold in glass jars since 1873.

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Inflatable Sauna Shorts
"...used by many to reduce the waist line."
Now you can melt those pounds away as you golf or paint!

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1908 Cadillac
Cadillac was founded in 1902 by Henry Leland, who named the company after Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac, the founder of Detroit. In 1908, when this ad was posted, Cadillac had brought the idea of interchangeable parts to the automotive industry and laid the ground work for the modern mass production of automobiles.
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Pillow Pals
"Gorgeous glamour girls in Life-like natural colors. A must for every bachelor apartment!"
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Hair on your chest -- wig
Austin Powers: "So, shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?"
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Ranchwear for Boys
 "Outfit him like a real cowboy!"
With embroidered vest and chaps.

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In 1967, S. Truett Cathy opened the first Chick-fil-A restaurant in Atlanta, GA. In 2012, Chick-fil-A's chief operating officer Dan T. Cathy made several public statements about same-sex marriage, saying that those who "have the audacity to define what marriage is about" were "inviting God's judgment on our nation."
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 "If you are TOO FAT why not reduce your weight and be comfortable?"
Gee, I hadn't thought of that!
Hall Chemical Company of St. Louis, MO will send you instructions for making your own reducing pills for a mere 4 cents to cover postage.

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Star Trek Electric Phaser Gun
Released in 1975,  Remco's Star Trek "Transistorized-Electronic" Phaser Gun was one of the earliest electronic phaser toys.  It included, "Realistic Phaser Sound, Phaser Light Beam, Project-A-Target" and a secret compartment.
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Reliance Ensenada
Whaaat? We're not gay! We're just two adult men goofing around in our boxers.
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Stretch Wig 
For the "Newest Nowest Style!"

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Funny Vintage Ads (34)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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RCA -- a referee's eye view of every play - by Television
 "A referee's eye view of every play -- by Television!"
As long as you sit 6 - 12 inches from the screen.

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Mum -- Politeness has its limits
"Wise women everywhere prefer Mum for Sanitary Napkin use."
Thanks for sharing!
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Mass Produced Neutron Reactors
Given what we know now about the dangers of nuclear power, it's hard to imagine there was ever a time (1960s) when any business could buy their own neutron reactor -- and for only $120,000!
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Atomic Plastic Suit
 How stupid does one have to be to work in the nuclear industry and also believe that this plastic suit would protect them in an area contaminated by radioactivity?
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Luckies Santa - a light smoke
 Santa prefers Luckies!
Once upon a time, cigarettes were a Christmas present favorite – the gift that kept on giving (cancer).

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Bell System introduces Picturephone service
The picturephone was introduced in April 1964 at the New York World's Fair, only to be withdrawn as a commercial failure a few years later. Several attempts were made by Bell and AT&T over the years since, but the dream was only fully realized with smartphones.
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Enjoy Thrilling Adult Party Movies

Before the internet there was home video and before that, those who wanted to enjoy "Thrilling Adult Party Movies" had to buy films and a cheap projector from ads in the back of "Men's" magazines.
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August 1953 issue of Woman’s Day contained instructions for making your own Space Patrol Helmet 

 The August 1953 issue of Woman’s Day contained instructions for making your own Space Patrol Helmet with household items.
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If you're givin' it up, you're going steady with Hitler
Because sex before marriage is immoral and immorality begets Nazi babies.
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Barcol Radio Control Garage Door Opener
"It's a simple matter -- your just push a button on the instrument panel in your car, and the door opens!"
The first electric garage door opener was invented by Mr. C. G. Johnson of Hartford City, Indiana in 1926.
Remote radio controls were added in the 1940s.
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Oxyodol Sparkle 
"Honey" seems a little too happy about the whole thing.
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Ham Banana Rolls

United Fruit Company wants you to know that Ham Banana Rolls are "Fun to Make" and "Easy to Digest" but they don't say it "Tastes Good" because it doesn't.
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Reefer Cigarettes - This isn't normal
Well, that explains why "Reefer" is so popular!
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Lysol - Too late to cry out in anguish
During the 1920s -- 1960s, “feminine hygiene” was a euphemism for birth control because it was illegal in the U.S. until 1965. The most popular brand of contraceptive douche, Lysol, contained cresol and could cause severe inflammation, burning, and even death.
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Diapers for Parakeets
The bird diaper was patented in 1959 by Bertha Dlugi of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
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Listerine - wisk broom blues
The Pullman porter is annoyed because he won't be making any tips brushing your dandruff flakes off of your suit jacket. But if you're using Listerine on your head to control dandruff, you might want to do something about the smell as well.
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Spanish Friendship
These girls are lovely and exotic, and yet they are also lonely and eager to meet me. Sounds legit!    
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Boss Nigger -- 1975
Boss Nigger was released during the blaxploitation era (early 1970s).  Two black bounty hunters ride into a small town out West and take over, much to the chagrin of the white populace.
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Kraft Space Ship Contest
In 1959, the Kraft food company held a contest to win a number of space-related items, and the grand prize was an actual space ship simulator, complete with space suits and helmets, that was built by the Aerojet-General Corporation.
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Disaster May Never Occur Here
 "Disaster May Never Occur Here"
...but if it does, you'll be running from a cruise missile that is headed for straight for your butt.

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Town Dump board game
The object of Town Dump is to clear waste out of your dump and onto your rival’s property, which teaches a valuable lesson -- Let your discarded trash become someone else’s problem.
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Philip Morris -- Born Gentle
In the 1950s, depictions of babies in cigarette ads reinforced the respectability of smoking as a part of normal family life.
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Dr Jeanne K Walter -- Don't Stay Too Fat
 Dr Walter's solution to excess fat was to sweat it off by wearing a rubber garment.
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MOR -- Yes, More is different. It has something.
 MOR was Wilson & Co's version of Spam (canned pork). Wilson claimed that their pork was the invention of an "immortal chef" who -- "through long and loving labor" -- came up with an "epicurean" flavor.
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Cockroach Racing
 In the 1910s, the International Mutoscope Reel Company, makers of arcade machines and dime museums sold this a cockroach racing kit (complete with "Special Racing Roaches") as a business opportunity.
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NABISCO sugar wafers
In 1898, William Moore, Adolphus Green and John G. Zeller merged their bakeries to form the National Biscuit Company, with Adolphus Green as president. The first use of "Nabisco" was in a cracker in 1901. The firm later introduced — either through development or acquisition — Fig Newtons, Nabisco Wafers, Barnum's Animal Crackers (1902), Lorna Doones (1912), and Oreos (1912).
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Oh Lord, Why do I throw like a girl?
What does it mean to "throw like a girl" in this WW2-era poster? It's meant as a put-down, but it reveals how stereotypes become self-fulfilling prophecies. Men have always been taught to use their entire bodies for a physical task, but (until very recently) women were been conditioned to limit their physicality.
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Hot Tripe for Cold Days
Tripe (cow stomach) and cowheels (heel of a cow) may be easy on the digestion, but they are definitely not for the squeamish. 
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Low Cost Nuclear Waste Disposal
From 1946 through 1993, thirteen countries used ocean dumping as a way to dispose of nuclear/radioactive waste that remains hazardous for hundreds of thousands of year. They put the waste into 55-gallon drums and dumped those drums into the ocean.
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For Christmas -- Solid Plastic Toilet Seat 
The perfect Christmas gift!