Friday, March 1, 2024

Funny Vintage Ads (86)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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White Niggar Chlorinol
Claims that a product could turn black people white was a common way to advertise cleaning products until the 1950s.    
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Our Soldiers in Siberia
The American Expeditionary Force, Siberia was involved in the Russian Civil War in Vladivostok, Russia, after the October Revolution, from 1918 to 1920.
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Velocipedes - Big Values
$1.25 was quite the bargain, if you didn't mind having a rough ride with "steel tires" instead of rubber. 
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Bell - Please Mr and Mrs Public
 America has changed a lot since WW2, when most Americans would willingly cooperate when asked to use less resources for the benefit of everyone. Now, the Blue team always has to oppose the advice and goals of the Red team, and vice versa. 
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Holbrook's Sauce - 1898
Lea and Perrins invented the first Worcestershire sauce in Worcester, England in the mid 1830s. Holbrook's Worcestershire Sauce was first produced 24 miles away in Birmingham, in 1875. 
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Strip Tease Necktie
"Spectacular new novelty tie creation for men who demand the distinctive and unusual!"
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Metrecal-Wafers - 1964
"Who says dieting can’t be delicious"
The unfortunate people who tried these diet wafers hated them. Liquid Metrecal was wildly popular in the early 1960s, despite its awful taste. As sales began to decline in the late 60s, attempts to repackage the formula didn't help.
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Autocar Company  -  1917
Autocar built America's very first gasoline-fueled truck that was sold commercially in 1899. 
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Men Pregnant 1974
  Given how painful childbirth can be, if men were the ones having babies, there would be a lot less carefree sex. 
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Listerine Taker
 The original Listerine smelled almost as bad as bad breath and the fact is that mouthwash doesn't actually cure bad breath. It kills bacteria on contact, but the alcohol content dries out your mouth and without your normal flow of saliva, the returning bacteria and associated odor actually gets worse.
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Franklin ACE1000 - 1982
Produced in 1982, the Franklin ACE was one of the earliest commercial clones of the Apple 2 computer. Franklin openly acknowledged that it had copied Apple's ROM and operating system code and a court battle with Apple followed. Franklin won and the case established important legal precedents regarding copyright and reverse engineering, then Franklin declared bankruptcy. They lingered on for a few more years with new products before Apple was able to force them out of the desktop computer business.
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I gave a Man WW1 poster
 During WW2, as war weariness set in, the demands for War Bonds got pretty intense.
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Ann E. Leak - Born without arms
Ann E. Leak the “armless wonder” was born in Zebulon, Georgia in 1839. Until the middle of the 20th Century, people born with physical deformities had few options for earning a living and often ended up in "freak shows." 
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Tupperware - 1960
"Hide! She's here to hit us up again!"
Tupperware was founded in 1942 by Earl Tupper and sold though direct marketing.
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Aeroplane Headache Tablets
  Did it "Make Headaches Fly" or Make you high?
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Anal O-Scope
 Free Anal O-Scope!
No thanks. I'll pass.
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Rexona - 1965
Looks like an ad for deodorant, but since it's in French maybe he's reacting to her armpit hair. 
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Flock-Kraft Suede Paint
Flock-Kraft Suede Paint added tiny "flocking" to their paint to create a textured finish of tiny bumps.
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Reclino-Specs
Reclino-Specs were invented for people with disabilities, but distributors soon saw the potential profits in expanding the market to lazy Americans.
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Party Records for Adults Only
In the 1960s, playing "Spicy songs packed with teasing wit and lusty humor" at your party was about as racy as it got.
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Life Cigarettes - 1959
 The irony of a cigarette named “Life” is a lot more obvious today than when it was first introduced in the 1950s.  
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Jell-o children 1919
In 1897, Pearle Wait, a carpenter in New York, was developing a cough remedy and laxative tea in his home. He experimented with gelatin and came up with a fruit flavored dessert which his wife, May, named JELL-O. In 1899, he sold the idea for $450.
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Coffins for your pets
"People don't put a price on sentiment when it comes to their pets" so Bob did.  
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At the End of the Evening Men Avoided Her
 If the men are avoiding her at the end of the evening, she should buy them some drinks.
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Servel gas refrigerator - 1939
From 1927 until 1956, when it ceased producing them, Servel was the only American manufacturer of gas refrigerators. 
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National Association of Manufacturers
"So whether your boy works for someone else or becomes his own boss, business profits will always play a big part in his welfare." The National Association of Manufacturers asserting that their profits are totally reasonable and good for male employment prospects -- they don't mention females.
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Nasenformer - 1913
This "Nasenformer" or nose shaper didn't fix your nose, but it did attract a lot of unwanted attention. 
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Aladdin Readi-Cut System - 1949
To meet the post-WW2 housing shortage, The Aladdin Company was the first to offer true kit homes composed of precut, numbered pieces. 
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Statistical Analysis was never made easy by writing your own programs in BASIC, but Radio Shack's TRS-80 was one of the first mass-produced personal computers in the US.
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Bubble Boy for Your Bar
Bubble Boy's "Magic" was made possible by Alka Seltzer 
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works!

 Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!
 
 

Thursday, February 1, 2024

Funny Vintage Ads (85)

 

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

 ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»ðŸ”»
Lead Industries - White lead paint
Lead is a dangerous neurotoxin and researchers have known that for over a century. When reports started coming out in the 1910s and 1920s about lead poisoning of children from chipped paint, the Lead Industries Association intentionally mislead the public about the danger and continued doing so until the mid 1970s when lead paint was finally banned.
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Virol - 1940
Virol - a malt extract preparation that also included bone marrow - was first made in London in 1899 as a nutritional supplement for infants. 
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Waldorf - Mommy was always so cross
According to Waldorf, Mommy was always so cross because there were "splinters" and "dirty specks" in her toilet paper.
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GE Black-Daylite Television
GE Black-Daylite Television claimed to have better reception in rural areas. How that translated into naming it "Black-Daylight" is anybody's guess. 
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Sparkies  - Gene Autry - 1947
"Spark-up with Sparkies!"
We fortify Sparkies by sprinkling a vitamin solution and lots of sugar on our cereal as it travels down the conveyor belt.
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President suspender
C.A. Edgarton and Sons opened a factory in 1881 in Shirley, Mass to produce webbing for suspenders and garters.  In 1930, they merged with the George Frost Belt Company.
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Pong - The newest 2-player video skill game

Pong was first in home video games in the 1970s, but by the time they came out with an arcade model, Space Invaders by Taito, with much better graphics, dominated the market.  
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Ho-Ro-Co - 1920
 Mr. M. G. Roth, President of Ho-Ro-Co Mfg. Co. looks a little scary.
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Pillsbury's Best-1895
Charles A. Pillsbury, along with his father and uncle, founded C.A. Pillsbury & Co. in Minneapolis in 1872. That same year he created an ingenious way to set his flour apart from competitors. At that time, millers used “X”s to distinguish between different grades of flour. Three “X”s on a sack of flour meant it was the highest quality. Charles trademarked the Pillsbury’s Best flour logo with four “X”s, implying that is was far better than even the highest quality of flour produced by any other mill. 
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Gibson's Rip Van Winkle Whisky
Rip Van Winkle left his nagging wife, drank moonshine, and slept for at least 20 years. After he awoke, he saw that everything had changed and that his wife died long ago. Rip was not saddened by the news.
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Bell System Picturephone
 Bell System had a monopoly on phone service and equipment from 1940 to 1982 in the US. They made a lot of promises about picture phones, but never delivered. 
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Kentile
Kentile Floors was founded in 1898 in New York specializing in large, durable tiles made of a range of materials, including as much as 25 percent asbestos. Starting in the 1970s, the company faced thousands of lawsuits over mesothelioma and other asbestos illnesses in workers. Kentile filed for bankruptcy in the 1990s and subsequently went out of business. 
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Make Money Writing Short Paragraphs
"No tedious study!"
Just write a paragraph for a newspaper ad that says you'll teach people how to write paragraphs for money.   
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GE Sunlamp 1955
There's no such thing as a "healthy" tan. UV radiation from the sun or tanning lamps increases the risk of skin cancer and premature aging.
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BOBO the Clown
No thanks! 
Might wanna check this guy's crawlspace.  
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Cushman Scooters
"...gives you an exhilarating sensation of dynamic ruggedness" as you ride your "hog" in a suit.
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Thermos Bottle - 1908
In 1892, Scottish scientist Sir James Dewar invented the vacuum flask. The vacuum acted as insulation to help maintain the temperature of the contents of an inner flask. The idea soon evolved into the workingman's Thermos Bottle as depicted in this 1908 ad. 
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Goldak Company - Find Uranium
During the late 1940's, the U.S. government began offering uranium prospectors rewards of up to $10,000 for locating radioactive ore deposits.
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Pall Mall is bigger
 Pall Mall brand began in London in 1899 in an effort to market the first premium cigarette to the upper class. It was named after Pall Mall, a well-known thoroughfare in London’s St. James that was home to many of the exclusive clubs that rich people frequented. Pall Mall was purchased by the American Tobacco Company in 1907 and was the most popular cigarette in America in the 1960s.
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Johnny Astro Really Flies
Johnny Astro launched a balloon space vehicle and controlled its flight by directing a whirling fan at it. 
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Valley Novelty Range
 Old cast iron wood-burning stoves were built like a tank and weighed almost as much.
Abram Cox Stove Co., the makers of Valley Novelty Ranges, was established by Joseph and David Cox when they purchased a stove foundry in Philadelphia, PA in 1853. 
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Knox Gelatine
"Moral: Men want salads to be tart -- not sweet"
His boss is coming for dinner, so was it really a "plea" or an order?
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Teenage Guide Book
"Approved and recommended by parents" so you know the advice will be really helpful.  

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The Monroe Refrigerator
The Monroe refrigerator, made by the Monroe Refrigeration Company in Lockland, Ohio in the 1910s was a high-quality ice box that "ran" on a fresh block of ice instead of electricity.  
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Jittery Nerves
Perhaps it's the clock?
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John Courage builds up the inner man
Courage and Company was started by John Courage in London in 1787.
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Catherine McCune - Silk Muscle Lifting Mask - 1928

 The 1920s and 30s were a golden age for chin straps, forehead straps, full facial masks and other "beauty enhancing" treatments for women.
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John Wanamaker - 1919
John Wanamaker invented the department store in 1876, when he converted an abandoned Pennsylvania Railroad depot into a multipurpose clothing and specialties store called Wanamaker's.
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works!

 Buy a No Soliciting Sign
That Really Works!