Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Funny Vintage Ads (74)

  Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Ben Rebhuhn - Astronaut Tough
Before strongman Ben Rebhuhn began selling body building books, he was convicted of shipping porn though the US mail in 1940.
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Science by Santa
Ads promoting nuclear power were a lot more effective before Three Mile Island and Chernobyl.
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Ideal Boilers - Your boiler is your boss
They had a point. Coal heating required lots of shoveling and someone had to go down in the basement in the middle of winter to do it -- though they probably didn't do it in a suit.
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Puffed Wheat - Empress of Venus
"The Empress of Venus will eat her cereal now." This was the 1950s when parents supposedly didn't put up with this kind of nonsense.
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National Association of Ice Industries
In 1939, the National Association of Ice Industries was still holding out hope that electric refrigerators were just a passing fancy and that iceboxes were going to make a comeback.
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Borden's Hemo
"Say now, are you being fair to the little fellow?"
If your kid is misbehaving, it probably the result of bad nutrition. In other words, it's YOUR fault for not feeding him right.
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The Original Ted Mack Amateur Hour
The Original Ted Mack Amateur Hour was a continuation of Major Bowes Amateur Hour which had been a radio staple from 1934 to 1945. Major Edward Bowes, the originator of the program and its master of ceremonies, left the show in 1945 and died the following year. He was ultimately succeeded by Ted Mack, when the show was brought into television in 1948.
The two greatest successes of the show's television era were Gladys Knight, then only a child, and Pat Boone. Other future celebrities discovered on the show include Ann-Margret, Jose Feliciano, Irene Cara and Tanya Tucker. 
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RCA TR-70 Videotape recorder
The solid-state RCA TR-70 Color or B&W TV recorder was introduced in 1966. An engineer was required to operate the unit, but the evening wear was optional.
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ILG Ventilation
In 1906, ILG started the long tradition of quiet ventilation fans that eventually become as loud as a jet engine.
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Keep death off the road learn the highway code
Her last bus had already passed when she was killed while running after it. The Ministry of Transport in the UK during WW2 ran a series of ads promoting road safety.
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Mrs Peeks Puddings
Can a wife fulfill her duties at home while working as an Air Raid Warden during WW2? Only if she prepares a hot meal for her husband every night. Meanwhile, her husband, "Jim" is an able-bodied man, so why isn't he at the front?
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Listerine for colds
In 1971, the Federal Trade Commission accused the maker of Listerine mouthwash of falsely claiming that the product cured, prevented or lessened colds and sore throats. In 1975, the FTC ordered the makers of Listerine to spend $10.2 million dollars on advertising telling people that Listerine is NOT a cold remedy.
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Happy Farmer Tractor
La Crosse Tractor Co. was incorporated in 1916. Happy Farmer Tractors were so unreliable that there was old saying about the two happiest days in a Happy Farmer owner’s life; the day he got the tractor and the day he got rid of it.
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Colgate - Nobody makes a pass at me
Use Colgate toothpaste and you too can pick up three guys and take them home. 
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Union Corrugated Containers
He supposedly knows that bra is from the "best makers" because it came in a cardboard box, aka a "corrugated container."
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Inside Quality Citrus
The Inter-State Fruit and Vegetable Company of La Feria, Texas thought nothing of using a racist depiction of a mammy character for their label in the 1930s and 40s.
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GE - Stop saving garbage
in 1937, GE said "stop saving garbage" and pour it all down the sink. Plumbers loved that. 
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Baldwin - bullets not grease
During WWII, the U.S. government urged Americans to save excess bacon grease rendered from cooking and donate it to the army to produce glycerin that was used to make gunpowder.
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O.J. for Spot-bilt
Prior to murdering his wife, O.J.'s endorsement was worth its weight in gold. Now, not so much.
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Fairbanks-Morse - Lucky Man
"She understands that sometimes it is important for him to play golf" - like when she's expecting her "back door man."
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Michelin Universal Cord
Michelin Man’s name is actually Bibendum, from the Latin slogan ‘Nunc est bibendum’ which means “Now is the time to drink”.
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Who else wants to look young?
"This new discovery took 10 years off my face" but they still had to put pancake makeup on for the second picture.
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Hot Dan the Mustard Man
Hot Dan the Mustard Man, the potato-shaped mascot introduced in the late 1930s, saved many a husband from having to eat "flat food."
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Fritchle Electric
The Fritchle 100-Mile Electric Automobile debuted in 1904. Compare that to today's Tesla's that, despite their inflated claims, have an "actual" range of 200-300 miles. Clearly, the technology hasn't improved very much in almost 120 years.
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Virginia Slims - Women are biologically superior to men
 The designers of this ad enthuse over women's superiority, then still end with that condescending, sexist slogan, "You've come a long way, baby."
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Seagram - We don't want bread money
In this 1930s ad, Seagram's suggests you don't spend the grocery money on booze.
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Hoover Constellation Walks on Air
The Constellation Vacuum Cleaner was introduced by Hoover in the U.S.in 1954 and advertised as "The cleaner that walks on air". By directing the exhaust air downwards, it was able to float and be easily pulled along by the user without the need for wheels or runners.
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Studebaker - Wait and see, Dad
Studebaker was founded in 1852, so when this ad appeared in 1949 it may have seemed like they would go on forever, but they were already in trouble. Only a year later, Studebaker revenues were declining rapidly. Starting in 1954, the company was losing money and production finally ended in 1966.
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Kawnear Indoor Toilet
“Place in any room, hall, or closet....Guaranteed sanitary”
OK then, I’ll put mine in the kitchen....guaranteed sanitary!
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Revell Beethoven Bomb
Hey Kids! Now you can build this NAZI bomber and make believe you're bombing London.
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Buy a No Soliciting Sign That Really Works! 
 

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