Friday, December 13, 2019

Funny Vintage Ads (32)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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Thorazine to control agitation
Oh, he's just a little agitated...
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The Omnibot 2000, introduced by Japanese toy company TOMY in 1985, with a steep price tag of $600, was a sorry excuse for a personal robot. Only one of its arms could be controlled and it came with a cassette player.
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Creole Palace San Diego
For over 30 years beginning in 1924, the Creole Palace was a popular, high energy cabaret that catered primarily to the African American population of San Diego. The club, also known as the “Cotton Club of the West,” attracted prominent entertainers of the day such as Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, and Count Basie.
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Oneida Community Silver
Oneida Community Silver was begun by a Christian religious utopian commune established in Oneida, New York, in 1848.
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Gay-LAa Singing Kettles
Supposedly this teapot inspired the Romi Klinger hit track, “Gay in LA”
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Almonds in a Haystack
Almonds on top of Miracle Whip on top of chopped ham. Wait, those are almonds? They look like French fries!
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"Just slip on and wear while you work or play..."
...until you pass out from heat stroke.

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Spam 'N' Cheese Ribbon Loaf
Spam ‘N’ Cheese Ribbon Loaf
Because if there’s anything better than Spam, it’s Spam in a loaf.

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The Kuba Komet Entertainment System
The Komet houses a TV, radio, record player and a tape recorder. The KUBA Corporation manufactured the Kuba Komet Entertainment System from 1957 to 1962 in Wolfenbuttel, West Germany. The Komet was over 7 feet wide and weighed in at a hefty 289 pounds.
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Electric Powered Marx-Mobile
The "Electric Powered Marx-Mobile" was produced by Louis Marx Company, Glendale, WV. It cost $21.95 without the battery, weighed over 30 pounds with the battery and was sold through Sears.
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The first McDonald's restaurant was started in 1948 by Maurice and Richard McDonald in San Bernardino, California. in 1955, Ray Kroc convinced the brothers to franchise and in 1961, Kroc bought out the McDonald brothers.
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Post Grape-Nuts -- Like Mother Like Daughterr
Teaching your child that being thin is everything is pretty much Parenting 101, right ladies? Fat shaming has a very long history in America advertising.
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Self-Defense American Style
Forget all that flamboyant Asian martial arts hooey. This ad says, "No tricks. No gimmicks. Develop your power and muscles and your inner strength. FAST and EASY. The AMERICAN WAY!
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Geshtunkana Ray Gun
Chickenman was an American radio series created by Dick Orkin that spoofed comic book heroes and was inspired by the mid-1960s Batman TV series.
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Du Pont - Farming with Dynamite
"In the early 20th century, Du Pont released a series of pamphlets touting what it claimed to be the greatest agricultural innovation since the plow: dynamite."
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Cooties - Delousing
The word cooties first appeared during World War I as soldiers' slang for the painful body lice that infested the trenches. They were also known as "arithmetic bugs" because "they added to our troubles, subtracted from our pleasures, divided our attention, and multiplied like hell."
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 Pristeen: Unfortunately, the trickiest deodorant problem a girl has isn't under her pretty little arms
Actually the trickiest deodorant problem is that all these products almost guarantee the exact outcome they are claiming to avoid, by disrupting the delicate pH balance and allowing the harmful bacteria to outnumber the good. Another in a long line of advertisements that were designed to make women self-conscious about their bodies.
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WW2: Killing should always be done with spotless weapons.
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Dr. Campbell's Safe Arsenic Complexion Wafers
Until the 1920s, the Western ideal was for a porcelain-like smooth, pale skin tone. For those determined to clear their skin of blemishes or ruddiness, arsenic was taken in small doses. To make it seem safe to take, the poison was sold under various ‘doctoral’ brands including Dr. Campbell, Dr. MacKenzie, Dr. Simms, Dr. Rose and Dr. Botot.
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Hiller Atom Ray Gun
American inventor Stanley Hiller, Jr designed this all-metal squirt gun in the late 1940s.
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Atomic Tunnel

The "Beautiful Atomic Tunnel" was a tourist trap in Daytona Beach, Florida that featured a long, white concrete building in the shape of a meandering tube, studded with 824 "port holes" that was designed primarily as a showcase for exotic orchids. It also featured tropical birds, a monkey, and "Happy, the walking fish," a typical Southeast Asian "walking" catfish that could be prodded into flipping its way across a short dry connection from one tank to another.
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Tarco Space Pilot Helmet
Released in 1952 by Tarco Toys, the Space Pilot Helmet was called the “Planetary” Toy for a “Space-Flight” Boy.
When it was placed on your head, you could “sound like whizzing through space when you ride your bike, roller skate, run or coast in your wagon.”

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Sears Silvertone Radio
The Silvertone brand was introduced by Sears in 1915 with a hand-cranked phonograph. Beginning in the 1920s, the brand was expanded to include Silvertone radios.

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The Pure and Germless Kiss
"For a pure and hygienic kiss, use this small racket --  after washing it in an antiseptic." Oh, how romantic!  
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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
The failure of The Carbolic Smoke Ball to perform as advertised led to a court case in 1892 that became the basis of later consumer protection laws.
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 Space Disintegrator Gun and Helmet
 This Space Disintegrator Gun and Helmet was all the rage among boys in 1950s Australia.
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Hardee's -- Women don't leave the kitchen
Women are meant to be in the kitchen, while men who are bachelors obviously cannot cook for themselves.
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Asbestos - the Magic Mineral
Asbestos is such a "magic mineral" that it is still causing a rare cancer called mesothelioma many decades after it was no longer commonly used in building materials.  It is now known that there is no safe level of asbestos exposure.
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Survivor Identification Capsule
When war is imminent, don't forget to insert your identity suppository for later ID of your charred remains.
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Sears Bath Shag Carpet
What were they thinking? Any carpet in the bathroom is a bad idea because it's a perfect breeding ground for mold and mildew, but shag carpet is even worse.  

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