Friday, December 13, 2019

Funny Vintage Ads (32)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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Thorazine to control agitation
Oh, he's just a little agitated...
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The Omnibot 2000, introduced by Japanese toy company TOMY in 1985, with a steep price tag of $600, was a sorry excuse for a personal robot. Only one of its arms could be controlled and it came with a cassette player.
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Creole Palace San Diego
For over 30 years beginning in 1924, the Creole Palace was a popular, high energy cabaret that catered primarily to the African American population of San Diego. The club, also known as the “Cotton Club of the West,” attracted prominent entertainers of the day such as Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, and Count Basie.
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Oneida Community Silver
Oneida Community Silver was begun by a Christian religious utopian commune established in Oneida, New York, in 1848.
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Gay-LAa Singing Kettles
Supposedly this teapot inspired the Romi Klinger hit track, “Gay in LA”
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Almonds in a Haystack
Almonds on top of Miracle Whip on top of chopped ham. Wait, those are almonds? They look like French fries!
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"Just slip on and wear while you work or play..."
...until you pass out from heat stroke.

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Spam 'N' Cheese Ribbon Loaf
Spam ‘N’ Cheese Ribbon Loaf
Because if there’s anything better than Spam, it’s Spam in a loaf.

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The Kuba Komet Entertainment System
The Komet houses a TV, radio, record player and a tape recorder. The KUBA Corporation manufactured the Kuba Komet Entertainment System from 1957 to 1962 in Wolfenbuttel, West Germany. The Komet was over 7 feet wide and weighed in at a hefty 289 pounds.
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Electric Powered Marx-Mobile
The "Electric Powered Marx-Mobile" was produced by Louis Marx Company, Glendale, WV. It cost $21.95 without the battery, weighed over 30 pounds with the battery and was sold through Sears.
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The first McDonald's restaurant was started in 1948 by Maurice and Richard McDonald in San Bernardino, California. in 1955, Ray Kroc convinced the brothers to franchise and in 1961, Kroc bought out the McDonald brothers.
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Post Grape-Nuts -- Like Mother Like Daughterr
Teaching your child that being thin is everything is pretty much Parenting 101, right ladies? Fat shaming has a very long history in America advertising.
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Self-Defense American Style
Forget all that flamboyant Asian martial arts hooey. This ad says, "No tricks. No gimmicks. Develop your power and muscles and your inner strength. FAST and EASY. The AMERICAN WAY!
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Geshtunkana Ray Gun
Chickenman was an American radio series created by Dick Orkin that spoofed comic book heroes and was inspired by the mid-1960s Batman TV series.
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Du Pont - Farming with Dynamite
"In the early 20th century, Du Pont released a series of pamphlets touting what it claimed to be the greatest agricultural innovation since the plow: dynamite."
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Cooties - Delousing
The word cooties first appeared during World War I as soldiers' slang for the painful body lice that infested the trenches. They were also known as "arithmetic bugs" because "they added to our troubles, subtracted from our pleasures, divided our attention, and multiplied like hell."
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 Pristeen: Unfortunately, the trickiest deodorant problem a girl has isn't under her pretty little arms
Actually the trickiest deodorant problem is that all these products almost guarantee the exact outcome they are claiming to avoid, by disrupting the delicate pH balance and allowing the harmful bacteria to outnumber the good. Another in a long line of advertisements that were designed to make women self-conscious about their bodies.
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WW2: Killing should always be done with spotless weapons.
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Dr. Campbell's Safe Arsenic Complexion Wafers
Until the 1920s, the Western ideal was for a porcelain-like smooth, pale skin tone. For those determined to clear their skin of blemishes or ruddiness, arsenic was taken in small doses. To make it seem safe to take, the poison was sold under various ‘doctoral’ brands including Dr. Campbell, Dr. MacKenzie, Dr. Simms, Dr. Rose and Dr. Botot.
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Hiller Atom Ray Gun
American inventor Stanley Hiller, Jr designed this all-metal squirt gun in the late 1940s.
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Atomic Tunnel

The "Beautiful Atomic Tunnel" was a tourist trap in Daytona Beach, Florida that featured a long, white concrete building in the shape of a meandering tube, studded with 824 "port holes" that was designed primarily as a showcase for exotic orchids. It also featured tropical birds, a monkey, and "Happy, the walking fish," a typical Southeast Asian "walking" catfish that could be prodded into flipping its way across a short dry connection from one tank to another.
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Tarco Space Pilot Helmet
Released in 1952 by Tarco Toys, the Space Pilot Helmet was called the “Planetary” Toy for a “Space-Flight” Boy.
When it was placed on your head, you could “sound like whizzing through space when you ride your bike, roller skate, run or coast in your wagon.”

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Sears Silvertone Radio
The Silvertone brand was introduced by Sears in 1915 with a hand-cranked phonograph. Beginning in the 1920s, the brand was expanded to include Silvertone radios.

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The Pure and Germless Kiss
"For a pure and hygienic kiss, use this small racket --  after washing it in an antiseptic." Oh, how romantic!  
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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
The failure of The Carbolic Smoke Ball to perform as advertised led to a court case in 1892 that became the basis of later consumer protection laws.
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 Space Disintegrator Gun and Helmet
 This Space Disintegrator Gun and Helmet was all the rage among boys in 1950s Australia.
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Hardee's -- Women don't leave the kitchen
Women are meant to be in the kitchen, while men who are bachelors obviously cannot cook for themselves.
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Asbestos - the Magic Mineral
Asbestos is such a "magic mineral" that it is still causing a rare cancer called mesothelioma many decades after it was no longer commonly used in building materials.  It is now known that there is no safe level of asbestos exposure.
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Survivor Identification Capsule
When war is imminent, don't forget to insert your identity suppository for later ID of your charred remains.
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Sears Bath Shag Carpet
What were they thinking? Any carpet in the bathroom is a bad idea because it's a perfect breeding ground for mold and mildew, but shag carpet is even worse.  

Sunday, December 8, 2019

Amazon Storefronts Help Small Business


Amazon Storefronts Ad
"Amazon helps small-town businesses"
 
Amazon is responsible for the closure of thousands of storefronts in America and now offers their platform to business owners so that Amazon can get a piece of every online sale they make.

Amazon claims their Amazon Storefronts, "a curated destination to shop exclusively from American small and medium-sized businesses" helps small businesses. Perhaps, but it will never offset Amazon's total devastation of Main Street America and suburban shopping malls, thanks to the overwhelming power of Amazon's marketing machine and predatory business practices. Then there are the many local jobs that have been lost, along with the local tax revenue from those jobs. Sure, Amazon creates some jobs in regional distribution warehouses; jobs that exploit workers and take such a physical and mental toll that few people can handle it for long.

According to syndicated columnist Jim Hightower:
"Bezos followed the business path mapped by Rockefeller and other 19th Century robber barons: (1) ruthlessly exploit a vast and vulnerable low-wage workforce; (2) extract billions of dollars in special government subsidies; and (3) wield every anti-competitive tool you can find or invent to get what you want from other businesses." 


Amazon's revenue has been growing at more than 20% a year, and yet Amazon paid no federal income tax for 2018. Through various tax breaks and credits, the company received a tax rebate of $129 million.

But this is not just Amazon's doing -- everyone who shops online is also at least partially responsible for the decline in brick and mortar retail. The choices we make on where to spend our money have consequences. Some of those consequences have been particularly unpleasant for Red States and Rust Belt States. 
 
Perhaps that explains, in part at least, how we ended up with Donald Trump in 2016. And Trump may well be re-elected in 2020, even though Trump hasn't done much for those folks who have suffered the most. Arguably, he has made it worse for them, but they think they have nowhere else to go.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Review: Dog and Rooster Web Design - Jack Jung


Don't play victim to a situation you created

Can you be sued over a Yelp or Google review? Yes

Most businesses cannot afford to ignore their reviews, but some are overzealous in policing them. And worse, some business owners are trying to hijack our judicial system to silence, intimidate and harass critics of theirs. 

Many business owners feel like the game is rigged against them by Yelp. They can't control Yelp, so they seek to remove all the negative reviews posted on Yelp about their business, either through appeals to Yelp about "fake" reviews or through whining, cajoling, or threatening reviewers.

The subject of this blog post is currently suing someone for defamation over negative reviews. He may ultimately prevail, or not and the suit has already partially survived a SLAPP motion. 


Frankly it looks like it could ultimately go either way, but it does appear as if it all began with an attempt by a former client to post a negative review that wouldn't be quickly removed. Then it got worse.

Subject:
Dog and Rooster, Inc.
dogandrooster <dot> com
5755 Oberlin Drive Suite 106, San Diego, CA 92121

TL;DR -- Summary


I'm NOT casting aspersions on Mr Jack Jung's business, any work he has done, or him personally. I am expressing an opinion -- that Mr Jung has shown bad judgment:

1. For disabling the right-click menu on his web site
2. For his aggressive moderation of review comments, which has caused some blowback and will likely continue to do so if he persists.


Dog and Rooster defamation lawsuit against a former client

Jack Jung of Dog and Rooster Web Design is currently suing one of his former clients over a bad review. Here are the business owner's own words in response to a review on Google: 

"Writing reviews of your experience with business is a constitutional right but writing fake reviews to sabotage businesses is illegal. Our legal team is communicating with Google to find the identification of this fake reviewer. It is unfortunate that we have to spend our valuable time and energy on such unethical activities."

Honest review posted by one of Dog and Rooster Web Design clients 


Jack Jung of Dog and Rooster Studio - Web Design claims he is responding to a "fake" review here, but in fact it was posted by a former client who is obviously very unhappy with the work that was done; the same client that Dog and Rooster Web Design is currently suing for defamation
(Case 37-2019-00031852-CU-DF-CTL). 


Update:
I made a promise to Mr Jung and delivered on it: 



Now that the point has been made (about overcoming Jack Jung's attempts at censorship), I have removed the SEO (search engine optimization) that caused this post to appear at the top of the search results. I have also made substantial edits to this post; deleting the account of my personal experience with Mr Jung and his web site, as well as some embarrassing quotes from Mr Jung that were taken from my correspondence with him. 

However this post about Mr Jung's lawsuit, and the review of Dog and Rooster Studio - Web Design that I posted to Google will remain. If Mr Jung doesn't like it, he should remember this:

Don't play victim to a situation you created
That's right, Jack.
Don't play victim to the circumstances YOU created.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Funny Vintage Ads (31)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.
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Dinah and her jell-o dessert
"Jell-O's fine for chil'en 'at likes good things to eat."
Jello is actually a protein produced from collagen extracted from boiling animal bones.

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Milk rings the bell
"To boys, milk means strong, active bodies for athletics. Girls drink milk for clear, attractive skin...bright eyes, beauty and popularity."
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Harris 20th Century railroad attachment
This product is meticulously described – all the features, portability, popular with men and women, beautiful black enamel – but there are no instructions on what to do when a train comes barreling down on you.
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You have a beautiful face but your nose
"Upon the impression you constantly make rests the failure or success of your life. Which is to be your ultimate destiny? My new Nose-Shaper “Trados” (Model 24) corrects now ill-shaped noses without operation, quickly, safely and permanently, Is pleasant and does not Interfere with one’s occupation, being worn at night."
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Jayne's Sanative Pills for Liver Complaints

One of the earliest and most successful patent medicine makers of the 19th century was David Jayne. He was born in PA in 1798 and later spent the bulk of his career making medicines in Philadelphia. Dr. Jayne also wrote and distributed over 500 million almanacs.
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Colt - Isn't it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift
In 1836, Samuel Colt was granted a U.S. patent for the Colt revolver, which was equipped with a revolving cylinder containing five or six bullets and an innovative cocking device.
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Quick Death Insecticide and Deodorant
Quick Death Insecticide and Deodorant circa 1890.
"It's a floor wax and a desert topping!"

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McDonald's 12 cents French Fries
The first McDonald's opened in 1955 in Des Plaines, Illinois, to resounding success. Six years later Ray Kroc bought out the founding McDonald brothers for $2.7 million.
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How to use "ORAL PENETRATION" to get more pay!
"Gentlemen, don't watch in despair as less talented men around you are promoted. Here is how to use Oral Penetration to get more pay!"
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Geritol - Feel Stronger Fast
Geritol was introduced in 1950 as an iron and B vitamin tonic by Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Geritol was fined by the Federal Trade Commission in 1970 over their claims about treating "tired blood." In court findings, their advertising was described as "gross negligence that bordered on recklessness."
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Tokio Kid Say -

This racist depiction of the Japanese, called The “Tokio Kid,” was created during World War II by artist Jack Campbell and sponsored by Douglas Aircraft Company as part of the company’'s campaign to reduce waste.
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Listerine -- Go to bed, Stubborn ... He's not going to call
"He's not going to call" because your breath stinks and so does your attitude.
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How You Can Avoid the Danger of Denture Breat
"Don't think that Janet doesn't love you, Mother. She does! But how can anyone love your . . . Denture Breath?"
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Cooties -- also known as lice 
During World War I, the soldiers in the trenches called lice "cooties" and "arithmetic bugs" because "they added to our troubles, subtracted from our pleasures, divided our attention, and multiplied like hell."
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Serpasil (Reserpine)
Serpasil (Reserpine) is a drug that is used for the treatment of high blood pressure and hypertension, but it has also been useful as a tranquilizer.
“Raise the emotional threshold against everyday stresses,” says the ad’s headline. Serpasil “acts as a gentle mood-leveling agent [and] . . . sets up a needed ‘tranquility barrier’ for the many patients who, without some help, are incapable of dealing calmly with a daily pile-up of stressful situations.”

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RotorWay Aircraft
RotorWay Aircraft was founded in 1961 by B.J. Schramm in Chandler, Arizona. 
Their first model, the Scorpion, was priced at $6,300 (not including the cost of the 40 hp motorcycle engine). Current models start at $150,000.
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Monster Size Monsters
Many a kid was disappointed after responding to this ad in the back of comic books in the 1960s, because all they received was a 7-foot poster, "In Authentic Colors with Glow in the Dark Eyes."
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Swedish Dogskin Garments
Most Americans in the 1950s didn't want a jacket or any other garment made out of dog skin, but even today many imported "pigskin" and "lambskin" articles of clothing (gloves, handbags) are actually made from dog skin.
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Hawkins Electrical Guides
The Hawkins Electrical Guides were first published in 1914 and covered all aspects of the science of electricity as well as its practical application in such things as electric cars, which were being built at the time, and possible future applications like the transmission of images.
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Kellar Self Decapitation
 Called the “dean of magic” and “the most beloved magician in history,” Harry Kellar (1849-1922) was the most popular magician in America from 1896 until 1908.
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The Combined Lifting & Spanking Machine
The Combined Lifting & Spanking Machine was patented in 1909 by Ulysses S De Moulin.
"Just about the time he gets well started lifting, a trigger is automatically released, which causes the spanking paddle to spring into place and strike him on the kazabo, at the same time exploding a 32-calibre blank cartridge with a loud report. (Paddle can be easily removed and used as a spanker.)"
"That is not all: there is also an electric attachment concealed under the platform of the machine that turns on a good current of electricity at the same time the paddle hits his pants."

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Bazooo
 The 6X6 Bazooo was produced for only two years by Otaco in Ontario, Canada, beginning in 1970. This forerunner to today’s all terrain vehicles was designed to go anywhere off road on ice, snow, marsh, mud, rocks and water.
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Jolt -- Join the Jolt Revolt!
Jolt Cola was created in 1985 by C. J. Rapp as a highly caffeinated beverage with the slogan "All the sugar, twice the caffeine!" The company filed for bankruptcy in 2009, but "Jolt" products are still sold though licensing agreements with other companies.
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Magical Penis Wine
Does "Magical Penis Wine" make a penis magical, or is it only for magical penises?
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Lifebuoy Royal Disinfectant Soap
Lever Brothers, an English soap company, introduced the first anti-bacterial soap in 1895, using carbolic acid derived from coal tar, instead of tallow (animal fat). It was the best selling medicated/health soap in North America until 1951.
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Cambells -- Hunches about lunches
"Men like their food hearty...so...what could be better than big, piping bowls full of Scotch broth?"
How about hamburgers, pizza, Carne Asada Burritos...just about anything but soup.

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MIcropro Word Processor - What you see is what you get
WordStar was a word processor application that had a dominant market share during the early- to mid-1980s. It was the first microcomputer word processor to offer mail merge and WYSIWYG (What You See is What You Get).    🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Hercules exercises -- "Get big husky muscles!"
"For Men Only" because...women don't need "Big Husky Muscles" 
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The Atomic Tunnel
The Atomic Tunnel was a tourist attraction near Daytona Beach, Florida during the 1950s. It was a long, white concrete building in the shape of a meandering tube, studded with 824 "port holes" that was designed primarily as a showcase and shop for exotic orchids. It also featured tropical birds, a monkey, and "Happy, the Walking Fish," a  Southeast Asian "walking" catfish.
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Hardees -- Women don't leave the Kitchen!
Women are meant to be in the kitchen, while men who are bachelors obviously cannot cook for themselves.