Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Funny Vintage Ads (19)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot weirder than you thought.

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Bosworth Bags & Twines 

 "Grain Sacker" is still listed as a potential career opportunity on web sites like Careers.org and MyMajors.com with a median annual wage of nearly $25K.
 
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Bathasweet Beauty-Bath Ritual

"You'll love the relaxing enjoyment of this Bathasweet Ritual, as well as it's night-long glamorous effect. In the morning, the same ritual for day-long loveliness."
Soak in the tub twice a day and you'll soon develop a yeast infection. 

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Spotted Dick Pudding
 Spotted dick is a British pudding, made with suet (the raw, hard fat of beef or mutton found around the loins and kidney) and dried fruit (usually currants and/or raisins) and often served with custard.
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She'll want to thank you three times a day

She cooked the meals, raised the children, and pampered her man on the couch...all while looking great in her dress and pearls, without a hair out of place. Maybe those really were the good old days? -- at least for him.
 
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Geraldine Taco's Titty City

Take your male friend to Geraldine Taco's Titty City! But be careful; you might knock his eye out!

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Try Murine for Your Eyes
Drs. James and George McFatrich founded the Murine Eye Remedy Company in 1897 in order to sell their patent eye rinse. Eventually the business expanded to salves, tonics, baths, powders and pills to help cure various eye ailments.

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Do you know how to kiss a girl?
The act of kissing seems to have changed a lot since 1911. Telling a girl that "her rosebud lips remind you of cupid's bow" might get you some weird looks nowadays. And according to the instructions, safe kissing at the dawn of the 20th Century required an "antiseptic gum."

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Bell Telephone - 3 Phones

Before cell phones, people often had multiple telephones in their home. And prior to 1983, you weren't allowed to hook up any equipment to your home telephone line unless it was rented from Bell Telephone. In the US, Bell had a government-sanctioned monopoly on telephone service and telephone equipment for over 100 years.

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Jail Jamas - The Daring Gift for Married Folks

Jail Jamas - The Daring Gift for Married Folks! Daring and sexist. She gets number 2795 and a half!
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Mosely Folding Bath Tub

The Mosely Folding Bath Company advertised this folding bath in the 1895 Montgomery Ward Catalog. This tub, disguised as a mirrored wardrobe, folded down and out of its wood casing into the room, revealing the water heater above. Since most folks still didn't have indoor plumbing, bathing required filling tubs with water, bucket by bucket.

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Mark's Artificial Legs

Railroad work was so dangerous in the late 18th and early 20th Century that an entire medical specialty developed to deal with it. Companies hired “railway surgeons” to staff private hospital and health care systems. An on-call doctor could rush to the scene of an accident, or be ready to receive a bleeding, injured worker sent to them by train. They were pioneers in emergency medicine and specialized in amputations and prosthetics. 

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Hasheesh Candy

Shortly after the book "The Hasheesh Eater" was published in 1857, “Hasheesh Candy” was developed and promoted as a cure-all. Suppliers could hardly contain their enthusiasm when composing their ads, because unlike many "cure-alls" of the time, cannabis products in moderate doses did provide some temporary relief.

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Ronson Hood 'N' Comb Hair Dryer

Is she trying to make out with it? Maybe this thing does more than just dry hair.

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Dr. Pierce's Anuric Tablets
Dr Ray Vaughn Pierce was a quack whose laboratory in  Buffalo, NY, produced millions of dollars worth of patent remedies. Dr Pierce was elected to the U.S. Congress in 1878 and served one term. After his death in 1914 his son, Dr Valentine Mott Pierce, continued the business and Pierce products were still available as late as the 1970s.

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Open Trap Make Happy Jap

Racist depictions of Japanese and other Asian immigrants were common well before World War II, but with the bombing of Pearl Harbor in 1941,  the U.S. government mass-produced propaganda posters showing racist stereotypes of a subhuman Japanese enemy.

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Boston Garter
George Frost began manufacturing and selling Boston Garters in 1879. In 1912, Boston Garter included one baseball card per box of twelve Boston Garters and those cards are now highly prized by collectors.

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Slick Black
Many early cosmetic products for women of color held up the ‘white beauty’ ethos, and so were marketed to women who desired to reduce their ethnic appearance with hair straightening serums and face bleaches.
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Dr. Miles' Anti-Pain Pills

Dr. Miles Medical Company was founded in Elkhart, Indiana, in 1884 by Dr. Franklin Lawrence Miles, to manufacture patent medicines. The company was acquired by Bayer AG in 1979.

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Mornidine - Now she can cook breakfast again

 It's obvious that men developed this drug for morning sickness, since their sole concern appears to be making sure their pregnant wives can still make breakfast.

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Vigorous Manhood - Two Health Belt Men 
 In spite of their limited medicinal value, tens of thousands of electric belts were sold between their introduction in the 1890s and their demise in the 1920s.
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I Passed for White - Movie Title

The tragic mulatto is a stereotypical fictional character that first appeared in American literature in the 19th century, and in movies during the 20th century, who either intentionally or unintentionally passes for White until they discover they have Negro blood or are discovered by another character to be Black.

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Fizzies
Fizzies were Alka-Seltzer-style colored tablets, wrapped in aluminum foil, that fizzed after being put into a glass of water. In 1957, Ruth Millard invented the product for the Emerson Drug Company, by adding fruit flavors to Bromo-Seltzer. 

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Raquel Welch Pillow

 "What man wouldn't enjoy spending a night with Raquel Welch?" Well, forget that, but you can buy this "rugged vinyl" pillow to serve as your "headrest."

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Willie Vocalite

"Willie Vocalite" was conceived and designed by Joseph Barnett, member of the Westinghouse Engineering Department to promote and sell Westinghouse appliances. During the 1930s, inventors made robots smoke so they would seem more "human."Willie performed in all fifty states and was also a star attraction at events like the 1933 Chicago World’s Fair and the 1939 Golden Gate International Exposition. Willie’s star faded in 1939 when Westinghouse debuted Elektro, a more advanced model paired with a robot dog named Sparko. 

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Bon Ami - A Nurse meets all sorts of Bathtubs
 In the 1920s and 1930s, nurses were often used to promote products related to health and cleanliness. But since when do nurses clean bathtubs? Even in 1937, when this ad first appeared in the Saturday Evening Post, private nurses weren't cleaning bathtubs. 

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DDT is good for me!

 From the end of World War II up through the 1960s, DDT was heavily marketed as a powerful insecticide for both agricultural and home use. It was later discovered that DDT, when used as a crop pesticide, accumulates in the environment and causes devastating effects on wildlife. It was banned by the U.S. government in 1972.

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Food Rationing

 With the onset of World War II, numerous challenges confronted the American people. The government found it necessary to ration food, gas, and even clothing during that time.

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Barbie

American businesswoman Ruth Handler created Barbie in March 1959, using a German doll called Bild Lilli as her inspiration.

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 Bill The Hatter -- Herringbone and Vinyl Suit

 "A suit for the man about town. Styled in luxurious herringbone cloth and topped off with a leather like vinyl."
Bill the Hatter was founded on the south side of Chicago in 1949, and is still in business.


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Never Drink Before Five? 

It must be 5 o'clock somewhere!
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