Monday, September 10, 2018

Funny Vintage Ads (18)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot weirder than you thought.

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asbestos snow 

In the early half of the 20th Century, asbestos was widely used as Christmas decor because of its white, fluffy appearance — but that was before it was recognized as a major risk factor for an aggressive form of cancer known as mesothelioma.
There is a scene in the 1939 classic, “The Wizard of Oz”  where asbestos snow falls on Dorothy and her friends, awakening them from a spell cast by the Wicked Witch of the West.

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Win this Full-Size Gemini Spacecraft!

In 1967, Revell gave away a full size model of a Gemini capsule. A 13 year old Boy Scout named Robbie Alan Hanshew from Portland, OR won the grand prize and donated it to OMSI, Oregon Museum of Science Industry where it still sits today.

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 A common method used by the tobacco industry to reassure a worried public about the dangers of smoking was to incorporate images of physicians in their ads. Certainly if a doctor, with all of his knowledge, chose to smoke a particular brand, then it must be safe.

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Interchemical Corporation - Slavery!

White Slavery - having to do wash the "old fashioned" way.
Black Slavery - actual slavery.


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Rectal Dilators - F.E. Young & Co.

"May be used by any intelligent person."

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Standard Distributing Company - Our Agents Ride in Carriages

In 1899, this manufacturer of household goods promised salesmen a vehicle and at least $90 per month in commissions for going door-to-door and showing their "handsome large plate book accurately illustrating the goods."

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Sugar can be the willpower you need to undereat.

Just have an ice cream before each meal – that’s sure to reduce your appetite! The sugar industry launched an aggressive advertising campaign in the 1970s to convince Americans that sugar actually helps you lose weight by suppressing the appetite.

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US War Bonds - How much do you really want him back?

"Just how much do you miss your soldier -- far across the ocean? Do you miss him so much that you'll pass up that jeweled bracelet you've set your heart on?"
Emotional blackmail has always been a good way to raise money.
 
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La-Mar Reducing Soap

  "No dieting or exercising. Be as slim as you wish. Acts like magic in reducing double chin, abdomen, ungainly ankle, unbecoming wrists, arms and shoulders, large busts, or any superfluous fat on body."
La-Mar reducing soap claimed it could spot-reduce flab from any part of the body without affecting other areas.


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Dr Pierce's Family Medicines

Dr. Ray Vaughn Pierce (1840-1941) was a quack whose laboratory in Buffalo, New York, produced millions of dollars worth of patent remedies. Dr. Pierce was elected to the U.S. Congress in 1878 and served one term. After his death in 1914 his son, Dr. Valentine Mott Pierce, continued the business and Pierce products were still available for sale as late as the 1970s.
 
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Every Voyage a Gay Cruise

Who wouldn't want to go on a gay cruise with their wife, and what the hell is that guy doing with those hand puppets?

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Mrs Margaret Anderson the noble woman who is hated by the whiskey trust

 Mrs Anderson knows how to cure drinking with a simple home remedy. She doesn't want any money from you, even though she spent quite a bit of money on this ad. She could have included instructions for the remedy in her ad, but instead she wants you to write to her and ask for it.
Yeah, that seems legit.


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Saturday Evening Post - Would you panic if a Negro moved next door?

 A blockbuster was a white real estate investor who used racial scare tactics to frighten whites in all-white neighborhoods into selling their properties well below their market value.

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Midol - No Apologies Accepted

 "Time of Month? NONSENSE! Stop by the drug store for some MIDOL and snap out of it!"

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Be Nice to Your Nose! -- Screenz

The 1970s saw a clash between more permissive attitudes towards illegal drug use and the "War on Drugs" begun by President Nixon in 1971. The days when companies could advertise drug paraphernalia in magazines were quickly coming to an end.

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Indiana State Board of Health - I am Death

How does one "neglect" their bowels? A warning from the Indiana Department of Health in 1912. 

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Gee Bill! How come your mom lets you eat two wieners?

"Skinless" hot dogs use a thin cellulose casing in the cooking process, and then the casing is removed before packaging. This process was invented in Chicago in 1925.
The term dog has been used as a synonym for sausage since the 1800s. It originated with suspicions that some German sausage makers were using dog meat, because consumption of dog meat was common in Germany.


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Washburn - Crosby Co - Gold Medal Flour

The Minneapolis Milling Company was incorporated in 1856. Cadwallader C. Washburn acquired the company shortly after its founding and in 1877, the mill entered a partnership with John Crosby to form the Washburn-Crosby Company. General Mills was created in June 1928 when Washburn-Crosby President James Ford Bell merged Washburn-Crosby and 28 other mills.

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Kansas State Board of Health - Baby will be unhappy and cross

1920s advice by the Kansas State Board of Health for bringing up your own little bundle of joy.... we wouldn't want Baby to be unhappy and cross!

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Moerlein's -- Good for Little Tots
Moerlein's Beer is "Good for Little Tots." It is honest, pure, healthful and invigorating, and it would be downright immoral for parents to withhold good beer from their children.

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Borden's Eagle Brand Condensed Milk

Borden's was founded by Gail Borden, Jr., in 1857 in Connecticut as "Gail Borden, Jr., and Company." Its primary product was condensed milk. The company was very successful and went on a buying spree in the 1930s. acquiring numerous dairies, ice cream manufacturers, cheese producers, and mincemeat processors. And in the 1950s Borden moved into the printing ink, fertilizer, and polyvinyl chloride (PVC) plastics business. Borden suffered significant losses for the period 1991-1993 and began selling off all of its properties to try and stay afloat. In 2005, the last vestiges of Borden, Inc., ceased to exist except as spin-offs and brand names licensed to others.

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Amolin - Society simply won't satand for Indelicate Women

"This Personal Deodorant has many uses."
Though it's not mentioned at all in this ad so as not to offend delicate sensibilities, cans of Amolin powder came wrapped with a paper band that said, "For Use on Sanitary Pads."


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Johnny Astro - A Unique Space Age Toy

Just before the United States put a man on the moon, the media hype around it created a vast market for toys like Johnny Astro.  Appearing to defy the laws of physics, this toy could fly a space vehicle in mid air. Of course it was just a balloon, but it said "Moon Probe" and it carried a tiny astronaut in a tiny space capsule.

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Mark Eden - The World's Greatest Bust Developer

"Was flat-chested. Then I gained 6 full firm inches on Mark Eden's Wonder Program. My bust went from 33 to 39."
The U.S. Postal Service shut Mark Eden down with a fraud order in 1966, but the Mark Eden corporation brought suit against the Postal Service, and won an injunction against the Postmaster. After a long legal battle, the
Postal Service prevailed and in 1982, the Mark Eden bust developer was withdrawn from the market.

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No, Nellie Didn't Slap Us!

"No, Nellie Didn't Slap Us!" She only told us off for having "rawhide jowls and chin."
OK, but why is Nellie going around feeling every guy's face?


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Now - Own a real Mystery-Man Mask

 "At last, you can have your very own Hollywood Mystery-Man type Mask...Make a movie, with yourself starring as the Mysterious Avenger"
Also good for committing armed robbery!


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"Are your panties up to date?"

Sporty enough to share, eh?
And since when is a day of the week a "date"?


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Phototake Camera

In 1888, Wrigley's Chewing Gum offered a Phototake Camera with the purchase of eight boxes or 100 five cent packages of gum and $5.50. The offer claimed that instead of "kinky films" the Phototake Camera uses regular glass plates which "makes the the developing and finishing of pictures easy."  

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More Doctors Smoke Camels than any other cigarette

RJ Reynolds in 1946, began a major ad campaign showing actors posing as doctors and lighting up with the famous tagline, "More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette." These ads received very little criticism from the medical community because they thought the images showed doctors in a highly favorable light.

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Pruvian Wine of Coca

There is no such thing as "wine of coca" but there once was coca wine. Mixing alcohol and cocaine together produces a chemical called cocoaethylene. Its effects last three times longer in your body than cocaine does on its own.

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