Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Funny Vintage Ads (16)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot weirder than you thought.

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Lane Cedar Hope Chest

After World War I ended in 1918, the Virginia-based Lane Company applied the same techniques of mass production it had used to build pine ammunition boxes during the war to its peacetime output of cedar hope chests. In 1996, following reports of at least six child suffocation deaths, Lane Furniture recalled all cedar chests with automatic latching lids manufactured between 1912 and 1987.

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Poor Aunt Jemima Had to Mix Everything Herself

The inspiration for Aunt Jemima was Billy Kersands' American-style minstrel/vaudeville song "Old Aunt Jemima", written in 1875. The Aunt Jemima/mammy character was prominent in minstrel shows in the late 19th century and was later adopted by commercial interests to represent the Aunt Jemima Pancake brand.

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Cook and wash on your refrigerator

Does it come with triplets in evening gowns as well?

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Lectroflater

One of Black & Decker’s first products was an electric air pump called the Lectroflater, introduced in 1917.
It was an electrically driven air compressor
with a universal motor (meaning it could use either alternating or direct current) that was developed especially for the purpose of inflating auto tires.

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Plaza Cube Cut Pipe Tobacco
This racist advertisement is number 5 out of a series of six cards that were mailed to customers for 25 cents. Collectable cards became a popular way to advertise tobacco products in the mid to late 19th Century.

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Eux-E-Sis

"Half the trouble of shaving and all the mussiness comes from soapy lather rubbed in the beard to be washed off the face." 
Eux-E-Sis was the first of the so-called "brushless" shaving creams. Putting cream on your face instead of mixing up a little soap may not sound like a great innovation in shaving technology, but it was for travelers and soldiers who would have to dry shave whenever they didn't have access to water. 

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Darling Pet Monkey

"Live Delivery Guaranteed!"
So he can bite you as soon as you open the box.


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You can judge a man by his boots

For instance: Kinky boots = Kinky guy

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French Tampax Ad

This French tampon ad copy translates as
"I am like a fish in water."

 
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Syphilis - All of these men have it

A little too much camaraderie in boot camp?  Check out that one guy on the left...he knows what he did and he's proud of himself!

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Win the weight of your baby in tripe!

"Are you feeding your little angel on tripe? It's the perfect food for growing babies!"
Tripe is a high protein, low-fat meat, that is is a highly nutritious and low in calories, made from the stomach lining of cattle and sheep. But today its use is mostly limited to dog food and a few ethnic dishes.


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"The Front Row Club" Hollywood

 "Mister, you my not believe this -- but a Burlesque dancer's life can be lonely."

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Civil War Veterans Pensions

The last surviving soldier from the Civil War died more than 55 years ago, but the U.S. government is still paying out a veteran's pension benefits. As of January 2013, the child of one Civil War veteran was still receiving benefits from her father's service, according to records from the Department of Veteran's Affairs.

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The importance of pessimism

Young & Rubicam was founded in May 1923 by John Orr Young and Raymond Rubicam in Philadelphia. The company moved to New York in 1926 as a condition of securing a contract with the newly formed Jell-O company. They became the most successful advertising agency in the United States in 1975 and today they are a member of WPP, the largest advertising group in the world.

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Lew Magram - Get into something new

It takes a real man to wear a 'bodysuit'
Especially one in gingham!
Lew Magram began by selling men's fashion accessories in a corner of a Time's Square barbershop in1948.


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Spencer Supports

"I bulged all over -- looked absolutely dumpy in the foundation and brassiere I wore before I got my Spencer Supports"
Maybe you should try standing up straight instead.


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Includes "How Often SEX UNION Should Be Indulged In" and "What to Allow a Lover to Do", as well as "DANGERS OF PETTING." This book covers a whole lot more than just sex. It  also describes how husband and wife should never share the same bed, since the man will ultimately be repulsed by the woman's odors and will lose the overpowering sexual urge's required for a stable and happy marriage.

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BOAC to Bermuda - two girls for every guy

"Whatever your fancy...A Man's in Demand in Bermuda!"
And apparently, each guy gets TWO girls.


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The Ideal Felt Tooth Polisher

While polishing certainly smooths out your teeth, it hasn’t been shown to make a huge difference in preventing gum disease or tooth decay. In fact, some studies indicate that polishing can temporarily weaken your tooth enamel, making your teeth slightly more vulnerable until the outer layer of enamel grows back. 

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Valium

Between 1969 and 1982, Valium was the most prescribed drug in the US. Sales peaked in 1978 with more than 2.3 billion pills sold that year. Because of its status as the most famous benzodiazepine – “Mother’s Little Helper,” as the Rolling Stones called it in their 1966 hit song – many people had heard of Valium and viewed it as a dangerous, overprescribed, habit-forming drug. However, diazepam and related drugs remain among the most widely prescribed psychoactive drugs in the US.

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Dick Tracy Rapid-Fire Tommy Gun

Dick Tracy was the first strip to introduce brute violence to the funnies page, so it’s no surprise to see this 1947 advertisement for a toy tommy gun. For just $3.79, a kid could own a 20-inch replica firearm “that looks and sounds like the real McCoy.”

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New Quadruplex TV Tape Recorder

 This was interactive television before "Netflix and Chill." Good thing this TV Tape Recorder was compact!

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 World’s Largest Lemons ~ Quick Way Bar Mix

In 1934, Fullerton residents A.W. Leo, Tom Yates and Ralph Harrison wanted to add a fruity ice cream topping to their existing inventory of toppings – which they sold under the trade name Pacific Citrus Products Company. The trio concocted a bright red syrup made up of five fruit juices they called “Leo’s Hawaiian Punch.”  The name was later shortened to Hawaiian Punch.

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Supporter Wilt is Dangerous

"Every Bike pouch is full size for maximum wear and comfort. No skimping of materials to cause binding"
Great, but what about the poor lads who don't NEED a full-size pouch? All that extra material will make them feel inadequate.


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I'SE SURE GOT A GOOD JOB NOW

Beyond the obvious racism, it's interesting that this is pitched toward households with servants rather than as an aid to overworked homemakers. It must have been really expensive. But if you already have a maid, why buy a dishwasher? 

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Thurston's Perfect Breather

Thurston's Perfect Breather was a nose clip marketed as a stop snoring device by The Great Thurston, a magician from Columbus, Ohio. There were two models, 18K gold filled silver for $3 and 18K gold for $5.

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Sanitized Tape Worms

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, advertisements touted “easy to swallow,” “sanitized tape worms” as a weight-loss method. The tapeworm interferes with digestion and absorption of nutrients, which means that one can consume more calories and still lose weight. However, the parasite also competes for vitamins and other important nutrients, while growing to nearly 30 feet long.

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Sun-kissed Grapefruit

 "Picked at the moment of most tender ripeness by musclebound ranchers..."

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Primley Bicycle

In the late 1800s, J. P. Primly Company was selling chewing gum, patent medicines, water color paintings, silverware, furniture, tea sets, and bicycles. Primley's Yellow Certificates were given with each purchase and could be redeemed for credits on other purchases.

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Nembutal

"When little patients balk at scary, disquieting examinations. When they need prompt sedation (and the oral route isn't feasible) try Nembutal sodium suppositories."
Sure, hold the kid down and shove a pellet up their butt. That'll calm 'em down!
Pentobarbital (trade name: Nembutal) is a barbiturate. It was widely used during the 1940s and 1950s as a sleeping pill or anti-anxiety drug.


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