Monday, April 30, 2018

Funny Vintage Ads (13)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot weirder than you thought.

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Rough on Rats

This ad is from the early 20th century when there was a bubonic plague outbreak in San Francisco. This outbreak was strongly associated with Chinatown since the first victim was of Asian origin and this caused an Anti-Chinese backlash. This racist image perpetuated a long-held belief among some Americans that the Chinese ate live rats.

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Whizooka Winnie

"Only Dead Roaches are Good Roaches." Winnie's kitchen is crawling with roaches, but she's not worried. She has a big smile on her face as she blasts them with a toxic cloud of DDT. 

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Kaffee Hag - What a man doesn't know won't hurt him!

"Men are so stubborn! John longs for coffee . . . even though he knows the caffeine keeps him awake. And foolishly, he insists: decaffeinated coffee can't be good."
Kaffee Hag was founded in Germany by Ludwig Roselius, who codeveloped the first commercial decaffeination process. The American branch of the company was sold to Kellogg in 1928.


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The Faultless Quaker Dish Washer

The first patent for a dishwasher was granted in 1850 to Joel Houghton for a hand-powered wooden device. It didn't work very well and broke a lot of dishes. The first reliable hand-powered dishwasher was invented in 1887 by Josephine Cochrane with the help of George Butters and was unveiled at the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago, Illinois. Cochrane's innovation of the hand-operated mechanical dishwasher would eventually become the appliance company, KitchenAid.

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Don't buy Negro records

"If you don't want to serve Negroes in your place of business then do not have negro records on your juke box or listen to negro records on the radio. The screaming idiotic words and savage music of these records are undermining the morals of our white youth in America. Call the advertisers of the radio stations that play this type of music and complain to them! Don't let your children buy or listen to these negro records."
It is both sad and ironic that this notice was printed by the "Citizen's Council of Greater New Orleans," given that New Orleans was the birthplace of Jazz -- created of course by black musicians.


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Hertz - Behind every smile, a brain

 Rent from Hertz, where our women aren't just window dressing! "Hertz has added a novel twist to the pretty face: a mind capable of helping your travel. Which, much to your chagrin no doubt, is what you need."

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Zip Front Apron

"Get lots of laughs at your next party with this surefire "ice breaker." 

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Armortred Hypalon 40 Soles and Heels

If you beat your kids, you need Armortred Hypalon 40 Soles and Heels. They last three times longer than conventional soles.

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 Make a 'Stradivarius' Violin

 "Joe Reid who has made hundreds of fine violins makes the job so easy — so inexpensive — in his new book "You Can Make a 'Stradivarius' Violin." You don't need any tools. Reid shows you how to make all the tools you need from old table knives, worn out files, sheet metal, etc. "

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Phosferine tonic wine

"If you are nervy, depressed -- this vitalizing drink will give you a new joy of living. Phosferine Tonic Wine lifts you up when you are 'low,' puts you right with the world." 
Not feeling quite right? Drink wine! We've even added the word 'tonic' to make it sound healthy!


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The Savage Automatic

"These times make more idlers. More idlers mean more Burglars and Brutes. Burglars and Brutes break your house; shock your wife into permanent hysteria and mark your children with a horrible fear for life."
Either buy a gun or be a helpless victim of Burglars and Brutes. This 1907 ad shows that fear has always been a favorite marketing tactic for firearms manufacturers.

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Ivory Soap

"But gee, daddy...I c-couldn't find the b-blamed ole soap. How c'n I bathe fast when that old s-soap keeps a-sinkin' and a-hidin'?' Gee wh-whiz!"
Don't hit me, hit Mom for not buying Ivory Soap!


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Griffin Microsheen

All Griffin Microsheen ads from the 1950s had a common theme; BOOBS!

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Go Gay Hairspray

The Captain just realized he has landed his little row boat at the island of Lesbos.

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Just Ask a Jap - Victory Vitamin C
The people who designed this ad sure approached the awesome nutritional power of fresh grapefruit juice from an odd angle.

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Kickapoo Indian Sagwa

Kickapoo Joy Juice was a fictional moonshine created by Al Capp, but there were real Kickapoo ‘medicines’ that sold like wildfire in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. The idea for the Kickapoo company was first thought up by John E. Healy and Charles F. Bigelow (Texas Charlie) in Philadelphia and registered in the U.S. Patent Office in July 1882. They employed Indians, supposedly Kickapoo's, to tour the country demonstrating Indian life, and selling their patent medicines. Healy and Bigelow weren’t the first to stage Indian medicine shows, but they were the most successful.
 
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Amplion

Early phonographs and telephones used a horn to amplify sound. Amplion was invented by a British telephone manufacturer, Alfred Graham & Co. in the early 1920s.

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Madame Rowley's Toilet Mask

Helen M Rowley was a milliner and dress maker in Van Wert, Ohio in 1875, when she patented her invention; “A Mask for Medical Purposes.” The toilet mask promised to beautify, bleach and preserve the skin, and it worked by applying creams inside the mask and then sweating caused by wearing the rubber mask overnight.

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The Gem Ice Cream Freezer

The first hand-cranked ice cream freezer was patented in 1843. In 1890, The American Machine Company of Philadelphia developed the first double-action ice cream freezer -- as the crank was turned, the paddles went one direction while the bucket rotated in the opposite direction.

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Red Ryder

Red Ryder was a Western comic strip created by Stephen Slesinger and artist Fred Harman in 1938. The Red Ryder BB Gun was introduced in the spring of 1940, and is still the most popular BB gun in the world.

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Your Meat Team

The guy in the middle seems a little too happy for someone who spends his days killing and chopping up thousands of animals.


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Atom Bomber toy
"Practice bombing, improve your score, Be the ace of your own air corps." Oh yes, this is just the thing for the young Atomic Ace. Look at the joy on his face as he scores a direct hit on a civilian target. 

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 Ah Men -- Shop for Men

 Founded by Don Cook in the 1950s, Ah Men was a West Hollywood clothing boutique that used gorgeous Hollywood models to sell a gay fashion fantasy.

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 Anyway, you didn't burn the Schlitz

"Anyway, you didn't burn the Schlitz! There's hope for any young bride who knows her man well enough to serve him Schlitz Beer." In this sexist ad from 1952, Schlitz wanted women (and men) to believe that Schlitz beer is all it takes to make a man happy.

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Sanka Coffee -- Juan, the Sanka Mexican 

One of the most obvious stereotypical portrayals of Hispanics in the history of American advertising came from a string of Sanka Coffee print ads in the 1940s. These ads featured a fat, greasy-looking individual named "Juan, the Sanka Mexican" who wears a large sombrero and is quite lazy.

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 Alterative Juice
Alterative = a drug used empirically to alter favorably the course of an ailment. In other words, a patent medicine that supposedly works based on evidence gained through observation, not science.

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 Do it yourself beatnik kit
 Hey all you big daddies! Are you tired of swinging in squareville? Is reality a total drag and you just want to escape? Well order the Beatnik Kit and you'll soon be in Fat City.

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Boston Plymouth & Sandwich Mail Stage

The distance from Boston to Sandwich is 58 miles and takes just over an hour by bus or auto, but in 1810, it took at least 12 hours to get there via mail stage.

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