Monday, January 15, 2018

Funny Vintage Ads (7)

Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot weirder than you thought.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Gay Boy

Cigar smokers are usually represented in advertising as highly masculine. The dapper fellow in this ad from the 1890s, represents the dandified upper class.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Flare-O-Flame

"Fluorescent by Night for Added Safety"

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

 Chubbies from Lane Bryant
 
 Shopping for Chubbies from Lane Bryant -- that’ll do wonders for a young girls' self-esteem.
In 1897, a 16-year-old Jewish orphan from Lithuania named Lena Himmelstein arrived in New York City and found work in a sweatshop for $1 a week. After her first husband, David Bryant, died at a young age, Lena supported herself and her son by making and selling tea gowns. Later she specialized in creating fashions for plus-sized women.


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup

Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup was developed in 1845 and sold millions of bottles a year at 25 cents a pop. Its two primary ingredients were morphine and alcohol so it’s not surprising it relieved pain and was a "mother's friend." Unfortunately, it also caused a great many infant deaths from accidental overdoses. “Mrs. Winslow’s” was denounced by the American Medical Association in 1911 but continued to sell as late as 1930.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Wolf Flirt Glasses

 "Be the Hit of the Party! Wear these glasses and flirt with all the Pretty Girls. Better than whistling at them! Regular glasses with tiny electric bulbs and battery attached. Put them on and when a Pretty Girl passes -- press battery and glasses light up! Lots of Fun! Harmless! Hurry! Supply is limited, Order today."

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

America's Youth Needn't Suffer From Lack of Butter!

During World War II, rationing and shortages forced consumers to switch to margarine. After the war, the dairy industry was focused on getting folks to switch back to butter, because "butter can't be duplicated!"

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

 Flying Saucers Are For Real

"Amaze yourself and your friends. These Saucers take-off and land using the scientific principle of differential expansion. Pocket size for you to demonstrate anywhere -- anytime." Differential expansion is a phenomenon peculiar to rotors and rotating discs which causes tilt based on the effect of weight or gravity upon the rotating object. It is a natural phenomenon observable in helicopter rotors, steam engines, and Frisbees.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Aunty Brand Citrus

We are Aunty Brand Citrus, because Mammy Brand was too obvious!

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Automatic Cyclostyle

The "Automatic Cyclostyle" was one of the first office copiers. According to an 1884 product review, "To use the apparatus to make copies, the top frame is unhooked and removed, and an unused Cyclostyle stencil is placed on the metal surface. The top frame is then replaced. The matter to be copied is next written upon the [stencil] with the cyclostyle pen. The upper frame [including the stencil] is then raised, and a piece of paper is placed upon the metallic plate.The roller, having received an evenly distributed layer of Cyclostyle ink, is then passed [by hand] over the writing [on the stencil] to be copied." This forces ink through the stencil and onto the paper, making a copy.
Not quite as "automatic" as one would expect, given the advertising claim that it could do 400 copies an hour.


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Mummy, what happens to us if the bomb drops

 Good question, but unfortunately this ad doesn't have an answer. Instead, it tells mothers to be prepared with a First Aid kit and includes a list of recommended medical supplies.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Flobar

After FUBAR, use Flobar and wash that radiation away!

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

The Welcome Nugget

The Welcome Nugget was one of Australia’s most amazing gold discoveries. Found in 1858, and weighing 2,217 troy ounces (68.98 kg) it remains one of the largest gold nuggets ever found on Earth.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Brighten the Day - Ritalin

"Ritalin brightens outlook and renews vigor -- overcomes drug sedative effects -- often improves behavior in the elderly." Yeah, she looks a little too happy about it.
Ritalin is a stimulant drug and was first approved for use in adults during the mid-1950s. Now it is commonly over-prescribed to so-called "hyperactive children" and often recommended
by school teachers and counselors.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻
Gono - Man's Friend for gonorrhea and gleet
 "Gono - Man's Friend for gonorrhea and gleet - an unequalled (sic) remedy for unnatural discharges."
The first use of the name "the clap", in reference to the disease, was recorded in the sixteenth century. Unfortunately antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea is on the rise, and infections may one day be untreatable.


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Barnum & Bailey Grand Water Circus

After 146 years, the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus closed on May 21, 2017, due to declining tickets sales and high operating costs. The show had its roots in a spectacle that began two decades before the U.S. Civil War.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

 Burnett's Cocoaine for the Hair

Pharmacist Joseph Burnett was born in Southboro, Mass, in 1820. He became an importer of toilet articles and flavoring extract manufacturer in Boston. In 1857, he invented his most profitable product - the famous Burnett's Cocoaine for the hair. Burnett's Cocoaine actually contained coconut oil,  and not cocaine as its primary ingredient.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Build Your Own Jet Engine

Strapping a jet engine to a bicycle... What could go wrong? But apparently selling plans to build one at home didn't sound like a bad idea to the J Houston Maupin company of Tipp City Ohio, in January 1952.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Sal Hepatica

Sal Hepatica is the name of a mineral salt laxative that was produced and marketed by Bristol-Myers in 1887, becoming its first nationally recognized product in 1903. When dissolved in water, it was said to reproduce the taste and effect of the natural mineral waters of Bohemia.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

 Dr. West's Toothpaste

 "Old-fashioned, slow-cleansing tooth pastes are often to blame for dull-white teeth, so just stop using them! Laboratory tests prove that Dr. West's Tooth Paste cleans Double-quick!" In 1933, Dr West's ran radio ads promising a free live turtle to anyone who sent in two box tops.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

The Witch Spoon

 The "Witch Spoon" was created by Daniel Low, a jeweler in Salem, Massachusetts in 1891 and is credited with starting souvenir spoon collecting in the United States. 

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Borden's Evaporated Milk

Gail Borden developed evaporated milk in 1856 to fight food poisoning and other illnesses related to lack of refrigeration and preservation techniques. In the years following the Civil War (1861-1865), Borden's Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk was credited with significantly lowering the infant mortality rate in North America.


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Everyone Likes Laxettes

"Nicest for the kids - easiest for mother! That's Laxettes!
No fuss, no spoons, no spilling. You can't tell a Laxette
from ordinary chocolate!"


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Bromo-Seltzer

Bromo-Seltzer was billed as a cure for exhaustion, headache, insomnia, brain fatigue, loss of appetite and other common complaints. Sold in distinctive little blue bottles, it became a household word through extensive newspaper advertising. Early formulas used acetanilide as the analgesic, a known poisonous substance. 

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

The Mug-wump Specific

The Mug-wump Specific was a patent medicine cure for venereal diseases. There is some "truth in advertising" in this illustration because the snake is apparently supplying some "snake oil" to the patient.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

The Metrecal Steak


Pink Metrecal in a bowl. Yum!

"Drink a can of Metrecal and you've had the nutrition of steak, potatoes, peas and carrots. But not the calories."
Metrecal was a diet drink based on baby formula that became a popular means of losing weight in the 1960s.


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

The Chevalier

"FREE Extra Pouch"
"The Chevalier has a removable pouch made of a soft, comfortable fabric that absorbs perspiration. So that you can change it regularly we include an extra pouch."
Sounds great! Why wash the whole thing when you can just change out the pouch?


🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Pink Pills for Pale People 

 Dr William’s ‘Pink Pills for Pale People’ were advertised in the 1800s as an iron rich tonic for the blood and nerves to treat anemia, clinical depression, poor appetite and lack of energy. The main ingredient in Pink Pills for Pale People was iron and among the many ridiculous claims made about this patent medicine, the manufacturer even claimed the pills could cure paralysis.
Ironically, only when someone bought the pills, opened the package and read the instructions, did it admit that the pills were not a cure-all.

 🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Listerine Cigarettes

Listerine was invented in the late nineteenth century by a pharmacist as a powerful surgical antiseptic. It was later sold in distilled form as a floor cleaner, as well as a cure for gonorrhea and "chronic halitosis." For a short time beginning in 1927, the Lambert Pharmaceutical Company marketed Listerine Cigarettes. The tobacco was infused with the same antiseptic oils used in the mouthwash for a "cooling and soothing effect."
 
🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Cooline Summer Corset

Wear a "Cooline Summer Corset" because you needn't work up a sweat while crushing your ribs and internal organs.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Butterick Cook Book

"You feel discouraged, hurt -- but it is probably all your own fault! Disposition depends largely on digestion -- you don't cook him well-balanced meals."
Ladies, if your husband is unhappy it's obviously your fault!
You're a lousy cook and you need this cookbook to keep your marriage intact.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

No comments:

Post a Comment